Chapter One Hundred Sixteen
Ruby
Several Days Later
The farmhouse gets too quiet in the afternoons. Dad’s out checking fences, leaving me alone with the creak of the old house and my silent phone.
Seventeen days since I saw Xavier. I don’t expect him to chase me. I’m the one who asked for space. That doesn’t stop some stupid part of me from wishing he would.
A car crunches up the gravel drive. Dad’s old hound gives one lazy bark before Emily walks in carrying Grace on one hip and coffee in the other hand.
“Well,” she says. “You look slightly less ghost-like today.”
“High praise.”
Grace reaches for me, and I take her. “Hey, beautiful.” She immediately grabs my sweatshirt and drools against my shoulder. “I missed you too.”
Emily slides a coffee toward me. “Decaf. How’re you feeling?”
“Better. Mostly just normal pregnancy stuff now. Nauseous. Tired. Weird about food.”
“You do look better.”
“I finally slept.”
“Good.” She pulls out her phone. “And before I forget, your pigs are fine.” She turns the screen toward me. Samson has his snout buried in an empty feed bucket while the piglets scramble around him. Then Xavier moves into the frame.
My breath catches. Gray hoodie. Sleeves shoved up. He’s repairing a loose board near the gate while Emily laughs behind the camera. The video ends too soon.
“He’s there every day,” Emily says. “Feeding them. Fixing things. I think he’s staying at your house too.”
I stare at the dark screen. “I thought you and Bella were doing it.”
“We tried. He insisted.”
Of course he did. Something aches beneath my ribs. He didn't call. Didn't push. Didn't ignore the space I asked for. He just took care of everything I left behind.
“He cares,” I say.
Emily gives me a look. “Obviously.”
“But I don't know if that's enough.”
Her expression softens.
“I can't do halfway anymore. I can’t be who he only sees in private.” My hand settles over my stomach. “I can't wonder whether he's with me because he wants me or because he feels responsible for me. Especially now.”
“You think that's what this is?”
“I don't know.”
That's the problem. I love him too much to spend my life guessing.
Emily takes the chair across from me. “You have to tell him.”
My hand remains over my stomach. “I know.”
Whatever happens between Xavier and me, this part isn't mine to keep from him. He's going to be a father. And I'm going to have to tell him.