Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One
Xavier
The hallway is too bright. Too clean. Like it has no business existing after what just happened. I don’t remember walking out of Ruby’s room. Just her voice.
I don’t know how to separate you from all of it right now.
And then—
I need some space before we discuss anything.
My hand braces against the wall beside the nurses’ station. I got to her. Jake got there. We stopped it. And it doesn’t feel like enough.
Because Lindsey didn’t come into Ruby’s life on her own. Two years ago, I treated something casually because that’s what I did back then. I never imagined Lindsey was capable of this, but I’m the reason she knew Ruby at all.
“Xavier.”
Dad’s voice cuts through my thoughts. He’s standing near the window at the end of the hallway, watching me. “You look like hell.”
“Feel like it.”
He nods toward the chairs. “Sit down before you fall down.”
I’m too tired to argue. I drop into one, elbows on my knees. Dad takes the chair across from me.
After a minute, he clears his throat. “You upset about the baby?”
I look up. “What?”
“The baby. I figured maybe that’s what’s got you twisted up.”
“That’s not it.” My chest tightens. “I’m not upset about the baby.”
His eyebrows lift.
“I almost watched her die tonight.” My hands lock together. “If Jake and I had gotten there a minute later–”
“But you didn’t.”
“I almost lost her.”
Dad exhales. “You didn’t put that woman in Ruby’s kitchen.”
“No. But Lindsey was after me. She thought Ruby took something from her.”
“That doesn't make this your fault.”
“Ruby didn’t even know Lindsey existed.” I stare at the floor. “She thought somebody was after her because she rejected someone. But it was because she was with me.”
Dad is quiet for a moment. “You’re not responsible for Lindsey’s actions. Neither one of you are.”
“I know.”
He rubs a hand across his jaw. “I’m not real good at this emotional crap.”
Despite everything, I almost laugh. “Could’ve fooled me.”
His gaze shifts toward Ruby’s room. “That girl’s scared.”
“I know.”
“And so are you.” There’s no point denying it. Dad shifts in his chair. “She ask you to leave?”
“Not exactly. She said she needs space.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
Feels like it.
I drag my hands down my face. “She told everybody about the baby before me. Her dad. Emily. Bella. Even Jake knew.”
Dad’s brow furrows. “And you think that means she didn't want you involved?”
“I don’t know what it means.” I swallow. “She didn’t tell me.”
“Son, you spent a long time convincing that girl you weren’t sticking around.” I flinch at his words. “You told everybody you didn’t do relationships. Kept one foot out the door.”
“I know.”
“So maybe she didn’t know if you’d stay because you wanted her or because there was a baby.”
He’s right. Ruby doesn’t know that the baby changes nothing about whether I want her. She doesn't know I was already gone for her before I knew she was pregnant.
Because I never told her.
“But I don’t think she stopped loving you tonight.” Dad leans back. “Telling her you choose her probably isn’t going to be enough anymore.”
My chest tightens. “Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”
Dad shrugs. “Show her.”
The words land harder than they should. Because that’s exactly what I haven’t done.
My heart kicks. I want to go back into that room and start right now. Tell her everything. Ask her to give me another chance.
I don’t. She asked for space. So maybe showing her starts with giving her what she asked for. Even if it tears me apart.