Chapter 25 I Can Handle Myself
Savannah
Heavy silence stifled us on the drive back to my townhouse. Benji’s car hummed softly as Jaxon drove through the city streets, the glow of streetlights passing over us in slow intervals. My hands were folded in my lap, fingers laced together so tightly my knuckles had turned pale.
The shock from the fight had faded.
The adrenaline, too.
Now, all that was left was the aftermath.
And the more distance between us and the Carrion Hotel, the more the same thought kept circling my mind.
He shouldn’t have done that.
Chase had been baiting him, yes, but Jaxon didn’t have to take it that far. I could have handled Chase.
I always had.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jaxon glancing at me again. His hands were steady on the wheel, jaw set tight, the faint bruise already darkening along his cheekbone where Chase had landed a lucky hit before Adrian freaking Maddox had to step in.
Talk about embarrassing.
I said nothing—honestly, what was there to say? There was always a better way to solve situations without your fists, and clearly, Jaxon didn't feel the same. And knowing Chase, he was never going to let this go. It was just unnecessary problems that neither of us needed.
So, silence was better than lashing out at him on the drive home.
Was I hoping he was taking the time to reflect on his actions? Yes.
Was that happening, though? From his clenched jaw and tight grip on the steering wheel, probably not.
So here we sat.
In silence.
The dashboard flashed 9:27 p.m. and the night sky was a dark void that relished in the quiet between us. We took a turn and the university came into sight, and soon enough, we pulled up to my house a few minutes later.
As soon as he killed the engine, I reached for the door handle.
Click.
Jaxon had locked the doors from his side.
I exhaled through my nose. “Jaxon.”
“Are you gonna tell me what the problem is?” he asked.
I glanced back at him to find him staring forward. “Are you serious right now?”
He finally turned his head toward me, one eyebrow lifting slightly.
I let out a sharp breath.
“The problem,” I said, turning fully toward him now, “is that you blew that entire situation completely out of proportion.”
His expression hardened. “Excuse me?”
“There didn’t need to be a fight in the middle of the hotel lobby,” I continued, my voice rising. “There didn't need to be fists and fury. God, Jaxon, you shouldn’t have let Chase bait you like that. You should’ve just let me handle it.”
Jaxon scoffed—a short, disbelieving sound. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m completely serious.”
His eyes narrowed.
“So you're pissed at me for defending you?”
“I didn't need you defending me!”
“You heard the things he was saying, right?” he asked, his voice dropping dangerously low.
“Yes—”
“Then you understand that there’s no way in hell I was going to let him talk to you like that,” he snapped. “Or about you,” he added. “Not in this fucking lifetime or the next.”
The force of his words filled the car. He leaned slightly closer, his gaze burning into mine.
“Once you’re with me, no one gets to say that kind of shit to you and walk away.”
“I can handle myself!” I shot back.
“I know you can!” he shouted right back. “Don't you think I fucking know that, Savannah?”
The sudden volume made the air inside the car feel smaller.
“This may be fake for you, but I'm not going to just sit by and let him walk all over you like that. Fucker is lucky he walked away breathing after that,” Jaxon continued, anger flashing across his face.
“Where does he get off calling you a whore and a slut after the things he's done to you? He deserved every punch he got. Fucking asshole.”
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration radiating off of him.
“And then he had the balls to bring up my sister? Fuck that and fuck him.”
I could hear the raw anger in his voice, and sympathy took hold of me. My shoulders dipped slightly and I sighed, at an impasse with my emotions. If there was one thing Chase was good at, it was pushing buttons, and he pressed Jaxon's hard.
The words hung in the air, and I threaded my fingers through my hair.
“I'm not saying he didn't cross a line with that, but we could have still walked away,” I insisted. “There was no need for violence. Can you even imagine what Chase is going to do now?”
Jaxon laughed humorlessly, his head tilting back so it hit the head rest, his eyes forward.
“I couldn’t care less.” He spared me a glance, and his gaze was hard and unmoving. “What he does to me doesn't matter. Not when it comes to you.”
Despite the tingles in my stomach, I scoffed and looked away from him. He can't even see my side of things.
“That’s so typical of you.”
Careless behavior always drove his motives in the past. He never cared about the consequences of his actions, even with me.
Silence fell for half a second.
“How is that typical of me?”
I didn’t answer.
“Savannah.”
My gaze was fixed on the outside of my window, refusing to look at him. “Open the door.”
“How is that typical of me?” he repeated, more firmly this time.
I spun around, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Because that's all you've ever known. Even when we were in high school, you used your fists to solve your problems.”
“Now you're bringing up high school?” Jaxon scoffed in disbelief. “Maybe that's your problem. Maybe you haven't accepted that I'm not the same guy I was.”
“Your actions tonight don't help that case, Jaxon!
You think I didn't walk away from high school with scars?
The constant taunting and tormenting from you and the rest of your team?
Me and trust issues go hand-in-hand now thanks to you, and every time I think I can let go with you, there's another situation that proves that I can't.”
“When have I ever given you a reason to doubt that? Savannah, all I've done these past two weeks is prove to you that I've changed.”
I knew that.
The rational part of me knew that, but anger tore its claws through me, and now those scars were like open wounds.
“You do realize that if we were anywhere else tonight, in any other hotel, you would've been arrested, right?”
“And I still wouldn't care.”
My glare hardened on him.
“Open the door, Jaxon.”
We stared at each other, and I made him see the fire in my eyes. Tonight was not the night to pressure me; I wasn't backing down, and when his jaw clenched, I knew I won.
He looked away first and his fingers moved to the switch on the door console.
Click.
The locks disengaged and I didn’t hesitate. I pushed the door open and stepped out, my heels striking sharply against the pavement as I walked straight to my front door, never looking back. My hands trembled slightly as I pulled my keys out of my bag, feeling his hard gaze on my back.
The door sprung open and just as I stepped inside, my ears perked at the roar of the car engine. Instinctively, I turned to look, but Benji’s car sped furiously down the street, Jaxon disappearing into the night.
The sound of the TV welcomed me as I stepped inside, the warmth wrapping around me like a blanket. Nerissa was stretched across the couch, one leg draped over the armrest, completely absorbed in what looked like some kind of dance competition. A bowl of chips was tucked beside her.
I shrugged out of my coat and heels before dragging myself over her and sank beside her.
“Hey.”
“What's with the face?” She glanced at me and ate a chip. “I figured you'd have gone to Jaxon's with how handsy you two were before you left.”
“Not happening.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
I scoffed and reached for a chip, crunching angrily. “Far from paradise. God, he can be so reactive sometimes. Not everything needs to be handled with your fist.”
Nerissa’s eyebrow lifted slowly, reaching for the remote and turning down the TV. “Okay… you want to tell me what's going on?”
“He got into a fight with Chase. In the hotel lobby.”
“What?”
I rubbed my temple and quickly explained what happened—the argument, the shouting, Chase baiting him, the moment everything snapped, the car ride over here.
When I finished, Nerissa shot upright.
“He said what?”
I groaned. “I know! All Jaxon had to do was walk away and—”
“I'm not talking about Jaxon. Your ass of an ex said that to you? How much of a fucking prick can you be? Honestly, like, what the fuck?” Then she stood up so fast, the throw pillow beside her hit the floor.
“The man must've been dropped on the head as a child because that's the only explanation for him being so fucking disgusting to you.
Ooh girl, it should've been me. I would've kneed him in the balls so hard that he'd be coughing up dicks.”
I stared at her—because what else could I really do?
“I hope Jaxon kicked his ass to kingdom come. The absolute nerve of this man! Who cheats on their partner, is in the process of marrying that person, and still finds time to cause drama with his ex?”
“Wait, you… agree with Jaxon?”
She stopped pacing and looked at me like I’d grown another head.
“Of course I do!”
“But—he started a fight.”
“He defended you,” she corrected immediately.
I opened my mouth to argue, but she held up a hand.
“Oh, sweet, sweet Savannah.” She sat beside me and grabbed my hands. “Listen to me. Jaxon has always been… protective to a fault, especially after what happened with Lyra. Once he trusts you and lets you in, there's no going back. You can count on him to do anything and everything for you.”
Something inside me shifted. My emotions were tangled in a knot—anger twisting with something softer that I didn’t quite want to acknowledge. Because the truth was… I understood why Jaxon reacted the way he did.
Chase had crossed several lines.
And bringing up Jaxon’s sister was beyond cruel.
But still.
The fight.
The shouting.
Security dragging Chase away after a freaking Maddox brother had to step in and part the fight.
Guests and staff taking on the role of onlookers ready to see what would happen next.
I hated all of it.
I hated being the center of a spectacle.
“Trust me, Jaxon's always the first person who shows up when someone needs help. Doesn’t matter what it costs him. Doesn’t matter if it gets him in trouble.” She shook her head faintly. “I swear, sometimes he forgets his own safety entirely.”
I frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
“Last year, I was in this really toxic situation with my ex. Side note, never fall in love with a musician. But anyway, things got… messy,” she continued.
“We were arguing constantly, screaming matches, the whole nine yards.
Let's just say, one night I got so angry that I keyed his brand-new car. Signed it, too, with the key, and finished it off with red lipstick on the glass.”
My eyes widened slightly.
“Yeah.” She grimaced. “Not my proudest moment.
In my defense, he was stealing from me, but that's another story for another day.
The point is, he came storming over to my place, pounding on the door and losing his mind.
I didn't have many options, and at the time I'd been with the shop for a little under a year. Jaxon answered on the first ring.”
I blinked.
“He rode over immediately,” she said. “Didn’t even ask questions. I thought it was mind-blowing—he literally dropped everything to come and help me, and this was two in the morning. It really showed me the type of person he was and what he meant by the shop is a family.”
Her mouth twisted slightly.
“When he got there, my ex was already out of his mind. Long story short, they got into a fight and ended up spending the night in jail.”
My eyes widened.
“And not once did he complain about any of that. I thought I'd be fired after all that, but he just walked into work the day after like nothing happened. That’s just how he is. He protects the people he cares about. Even when it’s a terrible idea.”
Silence settled between us.
I ran a hand slowly through my hair, trying to process everything she’d just told me.
It felt strange hearing this side of Jaxon from someone else—seeing him through someone else’s perspective. And yeah, suddenly the fight in the lobby didn’t look quite the same.
I knew he was defending me, but the lengths he would clearly go to…
I exhaled and leaned back into the couch. “So I'm the bad guy here.”
“Chase is the bad guy,” she corrected, leaning back and nudging my shoulder. “You're just the girl who picked a fight with your man for defending your honor.”
I opened my mouth and shut it.
She realized and laughed. “And you're supposed to be the brains of this friendship.”
Rolling my eyes, I nudged her back. “My brain is focused on my governance class tomorrow. Then I have a ten-thousand-word essay on board diversity mandates.”
She grimaced and turned back to the screen. “Gross.”
Chuckling, I fished through my purse for my phone and frowned when I couldn't find it.
Where did I put it? I tried to retrace my steps and couldn't even remember taking it out tonight.
Then again, my brain was a little fuzzy on tonight's events—heat crawled over my skin at the thought of the bathroom.
How did we go from that to fighting?
“Oh, yes, that's what I'm missing!” Nerissa exclaimed, now glued to the routine on the TV.
Giving up, I tossed my purse to the side and took another chip, locking into whatever she was watching. I was sure my phone was upstairs, and right now I needed the mental escape.
Let tomorrow's troubles be just that—tomorrow.