Chapter 28 #2
“You can dress it up however you want. Call it fake, call it an arrangement, call it whatever makes you feel safe.” My lips pressed into a thin line. “But don’t sit there and tell me there’s nothin’ real in it,” she added, her tone sharpening just enough.
“That's what I'm trying to say. There isn’t. We had an agreement, and—”
“And now you’re over here pacin’ my living room like the world is ending because of him.”
“That’s not—this is about Lori. She’s the problem here. She’s the one making threats, trying to control the situation—”
“Mm-hmm.” Mama V nodded, completely unconvinced. “And yet somehow, every other sentence out of your mouth is about Jaxon.”
“Because he’s involved.”
“No, child,” she said simply. “It's because you care about him. Fine man like that, I don't blame you.”
The words landed heavier than they should have.
I looked away, scoffing lightly. “Of course I care about him. We're… friends, and he’s part of the situation.”
“Savannah.”
Just my name. Nothing else.
And somehow, that was worse.
I exhaled, leaning back against the couch.
“You’re reading too much into it, Grandma.”
“Am I?” she asked, one brow lifting. “Then answer me this—if your cousin wasn’t in the picture… if there were no threats, no screenshots, no pressure—would you still be thinking about leavin’ him?”
I didn’t answer and Mama V hummed softly, like she’d just proven a point she already knew was true.
“That’s what I thought.”
I swallowed, my gaze dropping to my hands. “The contract—”
“You know good and well that this contract ain't holding. No, you're usin’ it as a shield. What you need to do is admit your feelings for this boy.”
My feelings?
“I don't have feelings for him.”
“I know I didn't raise a liar.”
“It’s not that simple,” I muttered, and suddenly the room was a little too hot.
Silence settled between us for a moment, filled only by the faint sounds of movement in the kitchen and the rain still tapping softly against the windows.
“Baby, these things usually don't go as planned.”
I shook my head, frustration creeping back in. “None of that changes the situation. Lori still has leverage. She can ruin everything I’ve worked for, and if I pull Jaxon any deeper into this—”
“I know you think you’re protectin’ him, but that man don't need protection.”
“I am protecting him. With Chase involved, he might just—”
“What you’re really doing is protecting yourself from what it would mean to need him.”
“I don’t need him.”
“Maybe not.” She reached over, smiling as she took my hand in hers, her grip warm and steady. “But you want him.”
I didn’t pull away.
Didn’t argue.
Because I couldn’t deny it anymore.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” she continued. “There's nothing wrong with choosing to be happy.”
I stared at our joined hands, my thoughts moving slower now, heavier.
“Let that man in, Savannah.”
“I just…” I hesitated, the words catching in my throat before I forced them out. “I don’t know when it stopped being fake.”
Mama V squeezed my hand lightly.
“You don't scream that loud when it's fake, baby.”
“Grandma!”
“Oh, I hope poor Nerissa doesn't have to—”
“Stop!” My cheeks flamed and I buried my head in my hands.
“And for the record, people don’t get this worked up over fake relationships. It's amazing what the power of love can do, ain't it?”
Love?
A quiet breath left me, something fragile slipping through the cracks of all my carefully maintained composure.
“We are most definitely not in love.”
“You may not be, but I know a man in love when I see one, baby, and that man is sunk deeper than the Titanic.”
“He’s not. We're not.”
The words came out too quickly. Too sharp to be convincing.
I shook my head, jumping to my feet as if it would stop the butterflies in my stomach, as if the distance from her would stop that nonsense. “He’s not in love with me. He hasn’t even reached out.”
Mama V didn’t interrupt.
“It’s been days,” I continued, my voice tightening despite my best effort to keep it even. “After everything that happened, after that argument—nothing. No call. No text. Zero, zip, nada.”
A humorless laugh slipped out. “That doesn’t exactly scream man in love, Grandma.”
Silence.
Then—
“And what did you do?” she asked calmly.
I blinked. “What?”
“In those same days,” she clarified, tilting her head slightly, “what did you do?”
I hesitated. “That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because I—” I stopped, exhaling sharply as I looked away. “I had things to figure out. Lori, the threat, everything she said—”
“Mm-hmm.”
I frowned. “You’re doing that thing again.”
“What thing?”
“That thing where you already decided I’m wrong and you’re just waiting for me to catch up.”
Mama V smiled faintly. “I don’t decide you’re wrong, Savannah. You just usually prove it all by yourself.”
I let out a quiet huff, but there wasn’t much fight behind it this time.
“You just think about this,” she continued, her voice softening just slightly. “If he had called that night of the fight… would you have answered?”
I didn’t look at her because the answer wasn’t as straightforward as I wanted it to be. Tensions were high that night and even though Nerissa talked me down, I wasn't in a clear headspace until the morning after.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted.
“Mm. And if he showed up after your cousin? Would you have cut ties because it was easier? And I ain't talkin’ about easy decisions. Would you have ended things to run away from your feelings for him?”
My chest tightened as I pictured it—the
uninvited, unexpected complication of Jaxon at my door. I remembered how panicked I was after she left, and if he had shown up, there was no telling what I would have said or done.
“I…” I exhaled slowly. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
I closed my eyes briefly, shaking my head.
“That’s not fair.”
The room felt quieter now. Heavier.
“Baby,” she said after a moment, “you keep talkin’ about what he hasn’t done, but all I’m hearin’ is what you haven’t done, either.”
I swallowed, my fingers curling slightly against my arm. My pacing began again as my mind whirled, not wanting to face the truth. “I was going to apologize to him before Lori showed up.”
“But you didn't, now, did you? Don't you try to loophole me, child. You were just as quiet as he's been. For all you know, he's been giving you the space to figure things out.”
“Jaxon isn't exactly the giving-me-space type.”
He was the type to show up even when I didn't want him there.
He was the type to let me kiss him just to prove a point to my ex.
He was the type to buy fake gifts to embarrass my cousin at her bridal shower.
He was the type to give me the reassurance I didn't even think I needed after thinking I was broken and damaged.
He was the type to make me forget the world and just focus on him.
“You gave your heart to someone once and he mishandled it. That doesn't mean you stop feeling altogether.”
My throat tightened.
“That boy Chase did a number on you, but they're not all like that. And honey, it's okay to be guarded, but it's also okay to be vulnerable and accept blessings when they come to you. It's okay to let go of the hurt in order to feel something new again.”
Chase.
That's what it always boiled down to.
This was never about the threats or the arguments. I made them important—another brick in the wall I built around my heart after the carnage Chase left behind.
“I can't be hurt again, Grandma,” I whispered, nails digging into my forearms as I hugged myself tighter.
“And you think he's going to hurt you?”
Silence was my response because it was better than another lie. Grandma studied me for a long moment, her gaze softer now—but no less certain.
“Baby, you’re not scared of him hurting you,” she said gently. “You’re scared he won’t.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Doesn’t it?” she asked, one brow lifting.
“Because if he shows up the way you say he does, then what excuse do you have left to keep your guard up?”
And that was the million-dollar question, wasn't it?
“What if you let him love you?” She brushed a strand of hair from my face and smiled. “The same way you love him.”
Suddenly, the room was too small. Denial wretched its head again, but it was crushed by my rapid heartbeat. Every thought, every feeling I’d been carefully sidestepping, was now right in the open.
I let out a short, almost panicked laugh. “This isn’t—”
But the word love lodged somewhere in my throat.
Refused to come out.
And that terrified me more than anything else.
“Oh my God,” I whispered, more to myself than to her.
Because it was starting to feel like something I couldn’t logic my way out of.
I started pacing again, faster this time, my thoughts racing to catch up with the realization I didn’t want to name.
“I need to talk to him.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them, but once they were there, they felt right.
“I need to fix this,” I added, more certain now, grabbing my bag without thinking. “I can’t just sit here and—wait and overthink and let this get worse. I need to know where we stand.”
“Wait, baby, the rain—”
“I'll be fine! Bye, Grandma.” I quickly hugged her then dashed to the door. “Nice to meet you, Darrell!”
I barely registered his response because now my heart was pounding for an entirely different reason.
Urgency.
Panic.
Something dangerously close to hope.
As I rushed to the elevator, I punched in an offer for an Uber—which, thankfully, was only a minute away—then tried to call Nerissa, but all I got was her voicemail.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I muttered as the elevator dinged and I stepped inside.
No answer.
“Dammit,” I cursed, hanging up and staring at the black screen.
Then a lightbulb moment came and I smiled, opening the Qupid app.
SAVANNAH
Hey Benji
Could you send me Jaxon's address?
A few minutes passed before my phone pinged, the address staring right at me.
BENJI
About time
Need me to pick you up?
SAVANNAH
No I'm good, thanks
Don't say anything to him
BENJI
Say what? * wink emoji *
Talk later
I huffed a laugh and leaned back against the elevator walls.