Chapter 33 This Is What Home Feels Like
Savannah
My living room had never felt this full before.
The TV hummed softly in the background, casting flickering light across the space as everyone settled into their spots as if they'd been coming here for years.
Jaxon sat beside me, his arm draped lazily over my waist, his fingers absentmindedly caressing just underneath my shirt every now and then.
Nerissa had claimed the longer couch, her legs thrown across Jesse’s lap while she flicked through TV channels. I don't even think Jesse registered that he was rubbing slow circles into her ankles, too immersed in whatever Ariyo was talking about.
Grandma sat in the armchair beside me, fussing with the huge handbag she carried everywhere.
“Now, I'll tell you one thing. This lady don't play about a look being wasted. All this work only for them to say ‘wedding canceled’ with no explanation. Can you imagine?”
I glanced over. “You’re upset about the wedding?”
“Child, that wedding was doomed from the start. No, my pain is this wasted look. All this goodness and what, no one gets to see it?”
“A look like yours never goes wasted, Mama V,” Jaxon chimed in.
My grandma's eyes lit up instantly and she wagged her finger at him, smiling widely. “I told you about that sweet talkin’, boy. You best behave over there.”
Jaxon grinned. “I’m just telling the truth.”
She narrowed her eyes at him playfully. “Careful now. You keep that up, I might start favoring you over my own grandbaby.”
I gaped at her but before I could respond, Nerissa suddenly shot upright.
“Wait, there it is!” she yelled, pointing at the TV. “It’s starting!”
Instantly, the room shifted and everyone's attention went to the screen. Apparently, she was a dance extra in one of the upcoming drama series—a fact she neglected to tell me about. I settled back into the couch, letting myself sink into Jaxon’s side as the opening scene rolled.
“Which part were you talking about? With the hockey rink?” Ari asked.
“That's further in.” Nerissa waved him off, eyes glued to the screen. “And I told you, we weren't on the ice. Just behind the glass.”
Mama V leaned over after a few minutes, her voice dropping just enough to keep it between us.
“How you doin’, baby?” she asked softly.
“Really.”
The question lingered longer than it should have.
How was I doing?
The news of the wedding being called off wasn't a complete shock—at least, not after last night. I didn't tell her about what happened, but apparently, Lori had called her early this morning, frantic and spiraling, saying Chase said he wasn't coming.
And the press ate up the story of a gilded bride. It didn't take long for speculations about what happened to take over social media.
But me? I couldn't have been any more indifferent.
I thought I would feel something—a bit of relief or satisfaction.
Maybe even vindication after everything they put me through—but there was none of that.
When it came down to it, I meant what I said last night.
I didn’t want revenge. I didn’t want closure from them. I just wanted to be done and move on.
And somehow, that felt better than anything else ever could have.
It made me realize something I hadn’t fully put into words before. Every scar I carried—every moment that broke me, every piece I had to pick back up—none of it was wasted.
Not if it led me here.
Not if it led me back to myself.
For so long, I built my life around expectations. Around proving something. Around being what people needed me to be instead of asking what I needed for myself.
And somewhere along the way, I lost that voice.
Or maybe I just stopped listening to it.
But now, that voice was clear, steady, and unapologetic. My happiness wasn’t something to negotiate anymore—not for the likes of them or anyone else. I had walked through every messy, painful part of my past just to get here, and no matter the highs or lows, I would choose myself every single time.
So yeah, I was more than okay.
Smiling at her, I nodded and said, “Yeah, I'm okay. Trust me, their wedding drama doesn't bother me anymore. I wasn't going, anyway.”
She studied me for a moment before she shot me a soft, knowing smile.
“Well, good,” she said, reaching over to pat my hand gently. “Everything worked out the way it was meant to.”
My gaze dropped briefly to her hand over mine.
“And I’m happy you found your happiness,” she added.
Something in my chest warmed at that, and before I could respond, she glanced past me—straight at Jaxon.
“Though,” she added with a teasing tilt of her head, “it ain't hard to be happy with a handsome one like him.”
Jaxon didn’t even hesitate. “I tried telling her what an absolute catch I am, but she just doesn’t want to hear it.”
I scoffed, elbowing him lightly. “Mind your business.”
Chuckling, he turned my head in his direction and leaned down to press a quick kiss on my lips.
“You are my business,” he murmured.
My breath hitched slightly and my stomach fluttered. When am I ever going to get used to comments like that? I hummed, shifting closer to him and tucking into his side as his arm tightened just a fraction around me.
Words couldn't describe how good that felt.
And when I glanced around the room, I realized the family I was always looking for was right here with me.
We look out for our own.
You're one of us.
We're family.
Nerissa’s words rang through my head, giving me a comfort I never knew with my own family.
Well, everyone except the great Mama V, I thought as I looked at her, watching her smile at the TV.
This was what home felt like, and I couldn't have imagined being anywhere else.
The show played on, laughter and commentary weaving in and out of the room, time slipping by without me noticing.
But then a loud knocking echoed through the house. I frowned slightly, lifting my head from Jaxon's shoulder.
He shifted beside me. “I’ll get it.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, already leaning up. My lips pressed to his to settle him before I crossed the room to the front door. Every knock was louder—and more impatient—than the last.
“Alright, alright,” I muttered under my breath.
My hand wrapped around the handle as I pulled the door open without much thought—
And froze.
My breath caught as my eyes landed on the person standing there.
“Mom?”
All I could do was just stare at her. In the three years of living here, she'd never come to visit me. Not once. I half-expected it to be some sort of trick, some illusion that she wasn't really there, but her next words made it all a reality.
“How could you do this?” she snapped immediately, her voice sharp, cutting straight through whatever confusion I hadn’t sorted through yet. “To Lori? To me?”
My brows pulled together. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, don’t play dumb, Savannah,” she continued, waving a dismissive hand like I was already exhausting her. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The embarrassment? The damage?”
Damage.
To her.
Of course.
“You always do this,” she went on, her tone rising as she waved her hands around exasperatedly. “You always find a way to ruin things. All of this”—she gestured vaguely, like my entire life was the problem—“for what? Some ridiculous fake romance?”
She scoffed, running a hand through her curls and pacing on my front porch.
“Lori had everything,” she continued, her voice laced with frustration.
“Do you understand that? That marriage would’ve connected us to the Sinclairs.
A family like that—Savannah, that was a goldmine.
That could’ve set all of us up for life.
And you ruined it because you couldn't think of anyone but yourself. You knew how much this meant to me.”
I felt something in my chest tighten, but it wasn't hurt that I felt. For the first time in my life, I finally had a clear picture of who my mother was.
The calculated opportunist.
“Are you done?” I cut in.
She blinked, clearly not expecting that.
“What—”
“No, that wasn't meant as a question. You're done.”
The shift was subtle, but it was there. I stepped forward slightly, not enough to be aggressive—just enough to hold my ground.
“For once, you’re going to listen to me.”
Her lips parted, ready to interrupt, but I didn’t let her.
“You don’t get to come here after everything and start pointing fingers like you’ve been part of my life long enough to have that right.
Where were you?” I continued, my voice steady but no longer soft.
“When I was dealing with the aftermath of Chase? When everything fell apart? When I was trying to pick myself back up?”
Silence.
“I’ll tell you where you were,” I added. “Nowhere.”
Her expression hardened. “How dare you—”
“You think you have any right to come here now and scream at me about Lori and her problems?” I cut in.
“I'm surprised you even have the address of this place.
What, one visit in three years? Is that all I'm worth to you? You disappeared after dad died and only showed interest in me after Chase was in the picture. And now you show up here because losing Chase was an inconvenience to you?”
Her jaw tightened.
“This was never about Lori,” I said, shaking my head. “And it was definitely never about me. It was about what you thought you could gain. I spent so long trying to be what you wanted. Trying to meet expectations that were never really about me in the first place. Trying to win my mother back.”
My throat tightened slightly, but I pushed through it.
“I’m done with that.”
The words settled between us.
Final.
“I’m done trying to please you,” I continued as I took another step forward, forcing her to retreat. “Done chasing approval that only shows up when it’s convenient. Done making excuses for you and letting you walk all over me. Done trying to be a version of myself that only placates you.”
Her expression shifted—something almost uncertain flickering there—but it was too late for that.
“You don't get to come into my life and dictate anything anymore,” I said simply.
I reached for the door, and without another word, I shut it in her face. The sound echoed louder than it should have, and for a second, I just stood there, eyes shut, hand still on the handle, my breathing uneven.
Did I just…
When I steadied my breathing, I spun around and almost doubled back when I found all eyes on me.
“Yes, gyal!” Nerissa exclaimed first, shooting up from the couch and pointing at me. “You freaking ate her up! That’s what I’m talking about.”
I rolled my eyes despite myself, a small huff of laughter slipping out as the tension eased just a fraction. Jesse chuckled and leaned back on the couch, but Ari wore a confused expression as he looked down at his fingers.
And pride was swimming in Grandma and Jaxon’s eyes.
“Relax,” I muttered, brushing it off as I walked back over. “It’s not that deep.”
“You can say whatever you want, but we're all thinking it,” she shot back, but she was smiling.
I ignored her, dropping back onto the couch beside Jaxon like nothing monumental had just happened.
“Whatever, can we just go back to the show now?” I said, picking up the remote and gesturing toward the TV. “Some of us were invested.”
There were a few amused glances, but no one pushed.
Jesse picked up the remote and resumed the series, and I tried to find the comfortable spot snuggled with Jaxon again.
Sighing into him, I focused on the rest of the episode when I felt Jaxon's fingers under my chin.
His gentle touch stirred my focus to him and I met his gaze.
“I’m proud of you, Savannah,” he said quietly before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.
His lips moved against mine, kissing me so softly that I could feel it in every bone in my body. His fingers grazed my cheek before moving to cup the back of my neck, and when he exhaled, the way he melted into me had me leaning toward him.
“Well, wait just a fucking second!” Ari suddenly blurted out.
We both pulled away, and everyone in the room was looking at him. He was staring at us, eyes wide, looking between me and Jaxon like something had just clicked.
“It was fake the entire time?”