Chapter 8
Trey
The screech piercing the air had to indicate something bad.
Was it a spider?!
True, he’d never known spiders to make any noise, but maybe it was too hard for a six-foot-two person to perceive such sounds.
Once he became considerably smaller, it had to be possible for him to hear all kinds of noises he’d never experienced before.
With the subject of spiders in the forefront of his panicked brain, he couldn’t help but yelp out of his skin when a ball of dark fur and limbs suddenly jumped onto the edge of the booth’s platform they had earlier climbed from.
He was ready to pass out on the spot, which would have ruined his plan to be his wife’s hero and save the day.
Being tiny already sucked balls. Was this what everyday living was like for his petite wife?
“Oh my God. Is that a…monkey?” His wife pointed in the direction of the unknown animal.
There was a brief moment of relief, knowing a spider wasn’t about to attack and devour him, followed by confusion. “Wait. Are there monkeys this small?” He must have missed those sections at the Los Angeles zoo.
The animal beat its arms on the platform, screaming again, before jumping onto the carpet and loping toward them, closing the distance a lot faster than Trey was comfortable with. It certainly made his own athleticism less impressive.
They could make a run for it, but there wasn’t any obvious place to hide, especially one not also easily accessed by the animal.
Screaming, Catalina raced toward Trey, slipping behind him and gripping his arm as if using him for a shield.
Now that spiders were out of the picture, his courage returned.
If he had to act as a shield to protect Cat, this was exactly what he was going to do.
Although he became more nervous the closer the agitated animal got to them, appearing larger than he expected.
It stopped a few yards away, continuing to make angry noises as it pounded its fists against the floor in what appeared to be an intimidation tactic.
Trey went to school with bullies and was familiar with this dance, which had led to a bloody nose on more than one occasion.
This creature was about three feet tall compared to Trey’s new height and covered with dark fur.
It had arms like a bodybuilder and was scarier than any school bully he’d ever encountered before.
“Hey, monkey,” Trey said, raising his hands and hoping it could be reasoned with if he acted friendly and non-threatening.
“That’s a chimp,” his wife hissed in his ear as she continued gripping the back of his shirt.
“What?”
“It’s not a monkey. That’s a chimpanzee.”
“Think I’ve offended him?” Trey eyed the animal warily, unsure if he already screwed up negotiations and was about to find himself with another bloody nose or, even worse, no nose at all. He tried again. “Hey, Buddy. How’s it going?”
Perhaps if he gave the animal a fun, non-scary nickname, this whole situation would de-escalate.
It was worth a shot. If he was hoping for a reaction where the chimp would make cute hooting noises before pulling his lips back in a toothy ape grin, he’d be sorely disappointed.
Instead, Buddy, the unfriendly chimp, made another terrifying noise along with some angry hand motions.
The animal was clearly in a bad mood, but whatever was bothering it, it wasn’t as if this was Trey and Catalina’s fault.
“Is he using sign language?” she asked.
Perhaps this meant the chimp could communicate and be reasoned with.
The problem was Trey didn’t know any sign language, and even if he did, he wasn’t sure what to say to the chimp.
Would the ape know how to get them help or have knowledge on whether there were spiders within the vicinity?
Maybe he could at least calm the animal down.
Trey brought his fingers together to form the shape of a heart between his two hands. “We love monkeys—”
Buddy became angrier and turned his focus on Cat, screeching and pointing at her.
His wife swatted his shoulder. “Will you stop it! You don’t know sign language. You’re just making it worse!”
It was obvious Buddy had made a snap decision in regards to Trey’s face—he didn’t like it.
Not only was this hurtful, but considering their current predicament, having a chimp on their side could have been helpful.
They could have had it climb things, such as going onto a desk and typing out an SOS message on someone’s keyboard.
So that whole plan had to be scrapped because they had to run into the one mini chimp who’d rather rip their faces off than be friends.
Trey was having the worst luck on this vacation.
“Alright, it’s time to show Buddy just who’s the real evolved species around here.” If the animal was going to be mean and threaten his wife, then Trey was done fooling around. “I’m really sorry to do this, pal, but you should have played nice.”
He pushed his wife to a safer distance, because things were about to get wild, before turning to the silver pillar beside him and wrapping his arms around it.
Trey couldn’t get his grip all the way around the cylinder, but he did the best he could, straining his muscles and releasing a furious growl as he put all his effort into moving it.
“What in the hell are you doing?” Cat asked. She was less scared and not in the least impressed. Even Buddy had quieted and appeared perplexed at Trey’s response.
He tried lifting again, straining every muscle in his body, including those in his face. “I’m…going…to…throw…this…pillar…at…him,” he said, grunting between his words.
“That’s a chair. You’re going to throw a giant chair at him? You realize you’re just a little ant now, right?”
Trey let go, attempting to get his breath back, because his plan wasn’t working. “Yeah, exactly, like Ant-Man. He was tiny and had super strength because ants are really strong or something.”
“That’s a movie.”
“Yeah, I know.” Also, clearly, a lie. He smacked a frustrated hand on the metal chair leg. It didn’t budge. Trey had embarrassed himself in front of a chimp.
Time for a new idea. He didn’t have super strength, but he did have height and muscles on the chimp… Although, for being half his height, Buddy was a solid wall of strength with his own set of muscles.
When the chimp bared his teeth again and made a screech, Trey put on the meanest face he could muster, ripping his shirt over his head, hoping Buddy would think twice about fighting him if he could see Trey was also well-built.
Because of his marital problems, Trey had been working out a lot lately and currently had his own wall of physical strength to show for it.
“Come here, you little shit. I’m here to rescue my wife and get laid.
And a little dust monkey like you isn't going to stop me.”
Cat pulled on his arm again. “You’re not going to fight him, are you?”
Buddy was also psyching himself up, standing to his full height while screeching and angrily gesturing toward Trey again.
“You don’t think I could take him?” Trey asked his wife.
“No. He’s going to kill you, and then he’s going to kill me. This is a horrible idea.”
Trey swallowed because Cat was usually right about most things. “I’m not really going to fight him. I’m just going to wait until he gets close enough and then kick him in the balls as hard as I can.”
“And you don’t think that’s going to make him even angrier?”
Maybe Cat had a point, but it was too late to consider it as Buddy was ready to spring towards him.
This was the best plan Trey had at the moment.
He did a few practice front kicks to show the animal he meant business.
“Come on, Buddy.” He started getting nervous the animal would decide to approach face-first, not giving Trey easy access to his balls.
He might have to kick his face, and he didn’t like the idea of putting any body part in proximity to a scary chimp mouth.
Just when things seemed to be getting too dangerous for Trey’s liking, Buddy snapped up his hand and caught a shiny green apple.
Trey turned his attention to his wife, who was in the middle of rezipping her bag. She shrugged. “I just thought trying food might be a safer idea than kicking him in the balls. There’s a reason flies to honey is a saying.”
Her brilliant suggestion worked…for a minute, because that’s how long it took the ape to scarf the apple down, core and all.
It must have barely made a dent in his hunger because he was back to acting angry again.
Except this time his dark eyes zeroed directly onto Cat’s bag as if he had personal knowledge she was holding a whole hoard of Buddy’s favorite snacks inside.
“Give him something else.”
“What? I can’t do that. He already got an apple. What are we supposed to eat?” She addressed Buddy directly. “Shoo! That’s all you get. Go find your own food.”
The ape screeched, not liking her answer.
A bigger problem was Trey recognizing the hard, stubborn expression setting on his wife’s face.
He had seen it many times before when Catalina was becoming determined, feisty, and about as dangerous as a hangry animal.
Buddy didn’t know what he was in for, and it was probably worse than a kick to the balls.
“I swear to God if you come over here…” She didn’t finish her threat as she wrapped the straps of her bag around her hand and forearm, gripping it into place, as though she intended to use the item as a weapon, like Thor’s hammer.
Trey’s hunger for a fight dissipated. This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go, and he didn’t want Cat getting hurt. Their roles had shifted, and he didn’t like it. “Come on, babe. A few bananas in your bag isn’t worth getting hurt over. We can find some more food later.”