Chapter 24 Krista
KRISTA
A knock at the door pulled me out of my boredom.
There wasn’t a single TV in this house, and the books were all medical or something about warfare. Claire didn’t seem to have a problem with the silence, but she had an e-reader and seemed perfectly content to lounge in a chair all day, lost in her fantasy world.
The door opened and Rob entered, grinning mischievously at me.
“No more,” I said, getting to my feet. “My vagina is thoroughly sore and unable to take another minute of that,” I said, pointing at his groin.
“I’m flattered, truly, but I’m not here for sex.”
“Oh?” I said, suddenly nervous he was going to interrogate me again.
“Kate has our test results back. We’re all meeting downstairs.”
Relief blossomed through me. I knew it was only a short reprieve, but I’d take it. I didn’t really want to do the whole getting to know you thing. Not until I worked out just what exactly I was going to say.
As I followed him out of the room, I struggled to come up with something to say. What did you talk about with someone you loved to have sex with, but weren’t sure you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to?
“So…does this mean we get to go home soon?”
“Not sure. That depends on the results and how we get ourselves out of this.”
“Any idea what it is they think I stole?”
“I was actually thinking about that. Remember how they said they were going to give us a reminder?”
It sounded familiar. “Yeah.”
“It must have been the drugs. They must think that you stole them.”
“They’re doing all this over drugs? How much do they think I took?” I asked, baffled that they thought someone like me could steal enough to chase me all over the country.
As we reached the bottom of the stairs, we headed toward the living room. “We’re running facial recognition, trying to figure out who they think you are. So far, there are no matches, but it could take a while.”
“Wait, so if we find this other person, what are we going to do? Hand her over?”
“Yeah,” he said, looking at me like I was an idiot.
“But they’ll kill her!”
“Or they’ll kill you,” he gritted out. “Would you prefer that?”
“No, but she’s—”
“If you say innocent, we’re gonna have a problem.”
I was going to say that, and he was right. If she stole from them, she wasn’t innocent, but that didn’t mean she deserved to lose her life over it.
“Look, it’s not like we won’t try to come up with another plan, but for now, my focus is keeping you safe.”
There was some comfort in that. For all I knew, this was how things happened in his world. It definitely wasn’t anything I could figure out on my own. For now, I’d just have to listen to him.
Everyone was gathered in the living room, and Kate was smiling. That had to be a good sign. Either that or she was telling knock-knock jokes with Sinner.
“So?” Rob asked. “What’s the verdict?”
“It’s actually pretty amazing,” she started. “The concoction of drugs they put together is something I’ve never seen before. Knowing what they put in you, I’d say you’re very lucky they didn’t give you a second dose, because you probably wouldn’t have survived.”
“Gee, you don’t have to sound so happy,” Rob muttered.
“Sorry, but this is impressive. I can see why the drug trade is so profitable. And deadly. Plus, I found a tracer in your blood. Though, for some reason, it’s faint in Krista’s, which would explain how they didn’t find her as easily.”
That was a relief. “So, what do we do now? How long does it take to get out of our bodies?”
“With this particular concoction, it’s hard to say, but I would guess maybe another day or two.”
“What about the tracer?” Knight asked.
“That’s a little different. I actually have no idea if it will filter out like everything else or if it will react differently. I’d have to do extensive research, and I’m not sure any of you want to be a test dummy on something I’ve only read about until now.”
“So, we just take our chances and move on with life?” That didn’t sound like a very good idea.
“No, they’ll keep searching for you,” Knight said. “They found you at the hospital. It won’t take much to figure out who you are and where you live. Along with all your family.”
The blood drained from my face at his words. “My family? They’re in danger?”
Rob slid his arm around my waist and pulled me against his body. I shivered in his warmth, his body heat doing nothing to lessen the guilt running rampant through me.
I messed up.
Again.
And if my family got hurt, it would be all my fault. My brothers were just starting families. My sister just had a baby. How the hell was I supposed to look them in the eyes and tell them that my trip to Vegas had put them all in danger?
“Hey, we’ll figure this out,” Rob whispered.
But it didn’t matter. None of it did. Not when I would see that look of disappointment in my father’s eyes or have to hear my mother whisper how it would somehow be okay.
“Excuse me,” I whispered, turning and practically running from the room.
“Krista!” Rob called behind me. “Hey! Wait up!”
But I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to find a room and hide where he would never find me, so I wouldn’t have to explain why this fuck-up was so much worse than the last.
“Hey!” he shouted, grabbing me by the arm.
I didn’t think. I spun and swung with all my might. My knuckles cracked against his strong jaw, and the pain that shot up through my hand was excruciating.
“Son of a bitch!” I shouted, curling my hand into my stomach to lessen the pain. “What is your face made of?”
“Why the hell did you punch me?” he exclaimed.
“Because you were chasing me.”
“Yeah, to talk. Not to murder you,” he scowled.
Sighing, I shook out my hand, wincing as it throbbed with every heartbeat.
“Come on. Let’s get ice on that.” He gently reached out for my hand. “Or are you gonna punch me again for trying to help you?”
Huffing out a laugh, I allowed him to take my arm and guide me through the massive house to the kitchen. I took a seat and waited as he grabbed an icepack out of the freezer, cracking it and making it bendy for me.
“Do you guys keep those on standby?”
“Knight has everything on standby.”
Gently, he placed the pack over my bruised knuckles, brushing his thumb over the back of my hand. “So, you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“You mean my mental breakdown?”
I knew there was no way out of this. The only thing I could do was come clean.
“I already told you I’m a bit of a disappointment in my family.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t say why.”
“Well, that’s because I don’t like to point out my flaws. No girl does.”
Leaning back against the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest, showcasing his muscles and temporarily distracting me from the uncomfortable conversation we were about to have. When I didn’t immediately start talking, he smirked at me.
“Hey, eyes up here. I’m not a piece of meat, you know.”
“Then stop looking like something I want to lick,” I teased.
His head tilted up a notch, and that mischievous smile returned. “Nice try, but you’re not getting out of this. Come on. Tell me what’s going on.”
Groaning, I launched into it. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Then you wouldn’t be so reluctant to tell me.”
“Only because I hate to prove people right.”
“Then prove me right. Tell me the story, and I’ll prove to you that it doesn’t matter to me.”
Man, he was good. “Fine. It all started back in high school. There was this boy—”
“There always is,” he grinned.
Smirking, I continued. “And his name was Ryder Lawson.”
“Bad boy? Spiky hair? Smoldering good looks?”
“Something like that. Though not really spiky hair. But he did have amazing chocolate eyes.”
“More amazing than mine?”
“Not even close,” I teased. “We were dating, and it was our goal to get out of town and see the world after graduation. Neither of us wanted to be stuck in our small town, living the small town life.”
“Uh-oh. I think I see where this is going.”
“No, you don’t. So, we wanted to get out and see the world, but we had no money. But we did have his dad’s pickup truck. So, we took that into Missoula and walked around the city. We saw all sorts of things that you just can’t find at home, and it was amazing.”
“So, what happened?”
“Well, it started with this small bracelet that cost less than five dollars. He wanted me to have it. He said it was something to remember the day by. I knew it was wrong, and I should have stopped him, but I didn’t.”
My smile faded as I remembered running out of that store, laughing with Ryder as he slipped the bracelet around my wrist with the price tag still intact.
“From there, we went into a shop and stole the latest U2 CD to listen to on the way home.” I laughed humorlessly as I looked up at the ceiling.
“God, I still remember the high I got when we walked out of the store and weren’t caught.
How my hands shook when he convinced me to slip it in my purse because it would be hidden better. ”
“Is that where it ends?”
“Unfortunately, no. Next was our dine and dash. And it almost worked, except that when we ran out of the restaurant, we slammed right into an officer. The waitress was right behind us and told him what we did. When we were cuffed, the officer went through my purse and found the CD. He searched me and found the bracelet on my wrist.”
Rob’s eyebrows shot up. “That little shit let you take the fall for everything?”
“Actually, no. He told the officer it was all his idea, that he convinced me to do it. But it didn’t matter.
I chose to go along with it. And if the officer had just called my parents to pick me up, that would have been the end of it for the most part.
But instead, he drove us home and dropped us off in cuffs, marching us right through the front doors of the police station. ”
“And the gossip spread,” he surmised.
I nodded, ashamed I had done any of that. “So, Mom and Dad had to pick me up, and by then, word had spread about what we had done. I was the family embarrassment, and haven’t improved much since then.”
“I doubt they see you that way,” he said, trying to make me feel better.
“Maybe, but I see it when I look in their eyes. They’re wondering how things might have been different.”
“That’s one day in your life,” he argued. “You can’t really think that one day ruined you.”
“No, but—”
“No buts. Sorry to say this, but get over it.”
I was surprised by the lack of empathy in his voice. “Excuse me?”
“Boo-hoo,” he shrugged. “You’re acting like you murdered someone. It was a stupid mistake you made as a kid.”
“I know that, and I’m not relating what I did to a murder by any means. All I’m saying is that since that day, I’ve never been able to redeem myself in my parents’ eyes.”
“You’re using it as a crutch. As long as you can lean on what you perceive as the worst thing in your life, you don’t have to take responsibility for how it’s turning out.”
Wow. Okay, I was not expecting such harsh criticism. “Um—”
“No, I’m not listening to any excuses. You made a mistake. Yes, the town looked at you differently, but then you move past it and change. Have you done anything like that since?”
“No…”
“Then they all see that you’re not a thief. It was a childish mistake.”
“Yeah, but—”
“But what?” he asked, his eyes boring into mine.
I ducked my head, feeling a little silly about the whole thing now. “I’ve done nothing with my life. I never got away. I worked on the ranch until it was converted to a vacation destination. Doesn’t that make me pathetic?”
“Only if you let yourself feel that way. Krista, there are plenty of people who don’t have amazing jobs, who don’t love what they do. There are people who make so much money, they don’t know what to do with it, and they’re absolutely miserable. But that’s just a job. That’s not life.”
“Easy for you to say. You have an amazing job!”
“Because I worked for it. Because I decided what I wanted, and I went out to find it. But you know what I don’t have?”
I shook my head slowly.
“I don’t have a family of my own. I have no kids. I have nothing to show for my life except my work.”
I grinned slightly at him. “I mean, technically, we’re married. So you do have a wife.”
But instead of smiling at me, his mood intensified. “Technicalities aren’t what I’m looking for in life. I want more than that. I want it all, and I won’t settle for anything less.”
His words were sincere. I could see it in his eyes, in every fiber of his body. He wanted everything he was saying.
“Then why did you sneak out the morning after?”
“Because it was another mistake.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. He was so blunt about it, as if I wasn’t standing here with feelings and everything.
“I lie to myself a lot. I tell myself that I don’t want more, that I like taking a beautiful woman home and spending the night with her, only to slip out in the early morning hours.
I’ve conquered something,” he laughed humorlessly.
“A one-night stand isn’t going to get me what I want.
Yeah, sex is great, but I want to get to know someone.
I want what my friends have. I’m tired of pretending.
And I want someone who can be just as honest about what she wants. ”
Looking into his eyes, I tried to find the appropriate words, but his earlier phrase was still stuck in my head. It was a mistake. Did that mean I was a mistake? Did that mean he would never want me because we didn’t get to know each other first?
Why did men think we could read their minds?
If it was me he wanted, he needed to come out and say it.
These descriptions of what he wanted didn’t necessarily mean me.
Was he trying to let me down gently by telling me that we could have had more, but we screwed it up when we slept together first?
Or was he saying that was what he wanted and I needed to let him know?
And if I said I wanted the same thing, would he laugh and tell me he didn’t mean me? Or would he pull me into his arms and kiss me?
Men were so frustrating, and I was tired of trying to read their signals. If I wanted him, I needed to say it. Maybe he would like it if I was forward and told him what I wanted.
“I should check on the facial recognition.”
My body flushed with heat as I realized all at once that I either missed my opportunity or was saved from making a fool of myself. I nodded, watching him walk away, wondering the whole time what would have happened if I had just said three simple words.
I like you.