Shuttered Hearts (Love in Ashford Falls #1)

Prologue

prologue

QUINN

I lift the camera to my eye, capturing the man in front of me, dressed in a suit of armor, down on one knee, proposing to a woman dressed like she’s living in the Renaissance era.

It’s not my typical subject matter, but it’s still a moment worth capturing. And it’ll feel good to offer this couple some professional pictures from this moment—one that is clearly making them quite happy.

Some people may find New York City too fast-paced and dirty, but nobody can deny it’s entertaining. No matter where you are in the city, you’re bound to see someone doing something unexpected—like this proposal.

I started this walk through Central Park looking for inspiration for my next assignment, and while this hadn’t been what I had in mind, it did bring me a brief moment of joy.

After getting the couple’s email address, I return to my walk but a sound to my right catches my attention.

A little girl, no older than five, runs full force toward a man, shouting, “Daddy!” at the top of her lungs. The man has the biggest smile as he crouches down to catch her when she jumps into his arms.

I’m instantly taken back to similar moments in my childhood: running to greet my dad at the door when he got home from his shift at the firehouse, running to him after winning a volleyball game, even running to tattle on my older brother when he did something to annoy me. I was always running to my dad for everything—good or bad—in my life.

“Mommy!” the little girl’s excited voice pierces the air again, bringing me back to the present. As I turn, I see the girl’s mother with a radiant smile slowly waddling toward her family. Her hand resting on her baby bump, a gentle and tender expression of love and anticipation.

“You doing okay?” the man asks her.

“I’m wonderful,” she tells him, leaning up to kiss his cheek, her smile never leaving her face.

I’m not sure what causes me to do it, but I lift the camera to my eye and capture the moment.

I only take one photograph before turning away, unable to watch the mother with her daughter any longer.

I’m not a huge fan of thinking about my mother. She’s been a sore spot for me for the last ten years, and after what happened to me three years ago, I avoid thinking about her at all.

My phone ringing in my pocket makes me pause momentarily outside my apartment a few hours later. I pull it out to find my brother Caleb’s face smiling back at me.

“Hey!” I smile as I answer the phone, walking in the door and hanging my keys on the hook by the door. It’s not strange for my brother to call in the middle of the week, especially if he and Emily are on opposite shifts. And it always brightens my mood when we talk.

“Hey.” My brother’s deep, normally comforting, voice comes through the other end of the phone.

“What is it?” I ask, the smile falling from my face when I hear the strain there.

“Quinn, I think it’s time to come home.”

I’m frozen for a second before I’m able to respond. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“It’s Dad. The cancer’s back, and the prognosis isn’t good.”

My stomach drops, and I’m silent, unsure how to respond. Dad’s been in remission for almost three years now. I knew the chances of recurrence were pretty high, and it was honestly amazing Dad had even gone into remission in the first place.

These last three years have been a gift. I wanted to believe we were in the clear, but deep down I knew that wasn’t realistic.

My dad has always been my biggest supporter, pushing me to be the best version of myself, encouraging me to follow my dreams. I was never going to be ready for this call, but I thought I had more time. More time to figure out my shit , so I could spend time with him at home in Ashford Falls—instead of avoiding it out of fear and shame, like I have for the past ten years.

Caleb continues when I don’t respond. “I know you’re probably about to hit the road again, and I understand if you can’t come home right away, but I don’t want you to miss out on spending time with him while we still can.”

“No, of course, I’ll be there.” My voice wavers. “It’s Dad.” I take a breath before continuing. “How much time are they saying?”

“They don’t know for sure, but maybe six months to a year.”

I give myself a minute, setting my camera down on the coffee table in the living room as I fall onto the couch. Tears are forming in my eyes, but I refuse to let myself cry right now. “Okay. It’s going to take me some time to get everything situated here, but I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

Caleb’s exhale is audible through the phone. I can practically see him, as if he were standing right in front of me instead of hundreds of miles away, the way his shoulders relax as he finally releases the weight of the world.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to do this alone for so long. I should have come home more?—”

“No. Don’t start down that path,” Caleb interrupts sternly. “You’re exactly where Dad wanted you to be, and I haven’t been alone. Emily is here, supporting me. Probably better than I deserve.”

Caleb’s wife, Emily, has been a blessing to our family. From the way she fit in with us from the first time he introduced her to how she completely loves my brother, I couldn’t have asked for a better sister-in-law.

“We’re lucky Emily married your grumpy ass.” I chuckle lightly, trying to bring some levity to the conversation.

Caleb scoffs. “So fucking lucky.”

There’s a pause, and I take the moment to gather my thoughts.

I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about being in New York City instead of back in Ashford Falls, Maryland, but I do.

Dad was the one who pushed me to get back to work after he was first diagnosed with lung cancer five years ago, and while I fought him at first, he’d been adamant his illness not change mine or my brothers’ lives too drastically. But now, with this recurrence, it’s obvious our lives are about to change in the worst way.

My visits over the last ten years were never long. Most of the time, they were quick weekend trips on my way back to New York from a photography assignment. I'd become a master at avoiding my hometown, exactly how I wanted it when I left for college.

I’ve been running from that place for so long it’s become second nature, and if I allow myself the time to really analyze why that is—especially in the wake of this news—I know I will never forgive myself. Avoiding home isn’t an option anymore. Doing so would only prove I’m more like my mother than I ever thought possible.

“I could have come home more … or made my visits longer,” I say weakly.

“No.” Caleb doesn’t leave room for argument with his tone. “I was lucky my dreams kept me close to home. I wouldn’t change anything for myself. I’m exactly where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to do. I won’t lie. I would love it if you were home, but I’m also so proud of all you’ve accomplished.” The pride in Caleb’s voice has a lump forming in my throat. “I’m glad you’re coming home, though. Even if it is just for a little while.”

“It’ll be more than a little while. I’ll be there as long as you need me. At least until Dad is …” I can’t bring myself to say it. I can’t even bring myself to think the word. I swallow the lump in my throat before continuing. “You’re right. I don’t want to miss out on Dad’s remaining good days. And I want to be there for Max.”

When I left for college, my little brother Max was two years old, and while I’ve tried to be a part of his life as much as I could, I’ve missed out on a lot.

“He misses you. We all do.”

“I know. I miss you all too.” I pause, thinking about my little brother and how this must be affecting him. “Is Max doing okay?”

“Honestly, better than I would have at his age. Eleven is a weird age. He’s old enough to truly understand everything going on but still young enough not to fully grasp what this means for the future. He’s a good kid. I feel lucky he ended up our little brother.”

I may always hate my mother for what she did to our family, but bringing Max into our lives is one of the best things she ever did.

“How are you doing?” I ask.

“You know? I’m thirty-two years old, and I don’t think I understand any more than Max does.” He pauses for a second before he continues. “We’ve been spoiled having such an amazing dad. I will never be ready to say goodbye to him. I don’t know how any of us will do it.” His voice cracks, causing a few of my tears to slip free.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

“I love you, sis,” Caleb tells me after a few minutes of silence.

I love my brother, but if I stay on the phone with him any longer, I’ll never stop crying. “I’ll get everything ironed out here and be home as soon as I can. I’ll keep you in the loop as I figure out the details.”

“Thank you, Quinn.”

Caleb and I have always been close. He’s been the rock, stepping up and taking on everything when Dad was first diagnosed, always supporting me however he could. I won’t let him do it alone this time, even if I’m terrified of going home. I will be there for him the way he has always been there for me.