Chapter 27
twenty-seven
QUINN
I can’t explain it, but I’m aching for him. Even though he just gave me the best orgasm of my life, I need to feel his weight on top of me, his skin on mine. I need to feel him everywhere, surrounding me.
“We don’t have to do anything else,” he says, his lips against my cheek. His hands slowly move up the sides of my body, with the lightest touch.
“Don’t you dare.” My hands immediately move from his exposed back to the button on his jeans. “I want this.” I slide the zipper down and slowly slide my hand into his boxers. “I need this,” I moan as I wrap my hand around his hard dick.
“Quinn.” His hips jerk as I begin to stroke him leisurely. The feel of him in my hand does something to me. There’s a power in knowing I’m responsible for making him this hard.
“Please, lose the clothes,” I whisper in his ear, my voice pleading, before nipping at his neck and reluctantly releasing him, lightly pushing him away.
He groans but pushes up, pressing a scorching kiss to my lips before standing completely, towering over me. I should feel self-conscious about being completely naked in front of him. I’ve never been entirely comfortable in my own skin. But this is Declan. I’ve always felt safe with him, and the heated look he’s giving me makes me feel both cherished and desired.
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet, searching for something before dropping both the item and his wallet onto the coffee table next to us. Then his jeans and boxers are being lowered, and I get my first look at a completely naked Declan. And the man is gorgeous.
“Declan,” I moan as my thighs clench.
He doesn’t give me time to fully appreciate him before he’s back down on top of me, settling his hips between my legs. He grabs his dick and slowly drags it over my center, brushing my clit, causing a shiver to run through my body and both of us to moan.
“This isn’t going to be long, but I promise to make it up to you.” Kneeling between my open legs, he reaches for the coffee table, grabs a condom and tears it open. Watching him roll the condom on has me questioning if he will even fit.
“Declan,” I whisper, reaching for him.
“Don’t worry, gorgeous. I’ve got you.” He watches himself as he places his tip at my entrance and slowly—oh, so slowly—pushes in just an inch. “I’ll go slow.” He looks up at me and it’s like he can read my mind. Kissing me, he murmurs, “It’ll fit.”
He slowly starts rocking his hips back and forth, sliding in a little more on each thrust. My nails dig into his back as he slowly stretches me. There’s a hint of pain, but it’s quickly overpowered by the pleasure that follows.
I love the feel of his bare chest on mine, the feel of his hands roaming my body, of his hard length slowly entering me, stretching me. I’m lost to all of it.
He stills when he sinks to the hilt, lifting off of me just enough to look down at where we’re joined. My hips shift, urging him to move. “Declan, please.”
“I need a second.” His eyes move back to mine. “You’re so tight. I need a minute, or this will be over much faster than either of us wants.” He presses his lips to mine in a bruising kiss. One of his hands moves to my thigh, pulling my leg around his hip, and he slips a little further in as he starts moving his hips.
His forehead drops to mine. “You feel so good,” he moans, pressing his lips back to mine. My legs squeeze his hips, my heel digging into his ass, and he finally breaks, pumping into me hard.
I feel the tension build in his back like he’s on the brink of release. “I need you to come with me, Quinn.” He reaches between us, his fingers finding my clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure, and my walls instantly close around him. My eyes close, and my back arches as I scream through my orgasm.
Declan shudders through his release before collapsing on top of me, pressing his lips to my neck in a lingering kiss. As our breathing returns to normal, Declan pulls out and rolls, taking me with him so I’m lying on top of him.
“I need a minute, and then we’re doing that again, but in your bed,” he mumbles as his hands trace invisible shapes on my back.
I press a kiss to his chest before resting my cheek there. The sounds of his racing heart bringing me a comfort I've never felt before. “Just a minute?” I joke.
He lightly swats my ass before rolling me over and standing to dispose of the condom.
As I watch him walk away, I can’t help but think about how good I feel, something I haven’t felt after sex before. Though not something I’m proud of, I’ve been with a number of men since my first time having sex. Most of them were after my attack while searching for something I thought I’d lost—my ability to find joy and comfort in sex, my sense of control, my safety, and choice. All of it became so tied up in my brain. I know I made unsafe choices, but I found pieces of myself in those partners. While some of them had been pretty good, maybe even great, none left me feeling the way Declan has—completely and wholly satisfied and safe. Like nothing bad could happen as long as I’m here with him.
No, every man I’ve ever been with pales in comparison to Declan. It’s both freeing and terrifying to think. I know I could fall for him, if I haven’t started to already. Loving him the way my father loved my mother? It could destroy me if I’m not careful.
I know Dad tried his best after Mom left, but there was a period when it felt like he didn’t want to continue on in life. I hadn’t understood at the time why he still loved her so much after everything she already put him through, but I think I understand it now. Wanting to believe the person you loved would love you in return—it’s not a crazy concept. But I also understand you can’t love someone else into loving you.
Dad always put Mom first, which wasn’t always a bad thing. But when the person you’re always putting first never does the same for you?
If I give my everything to Declan, like my dad did with my mother, what will happen if Declan leaves? Mom hadn’t always been so selfish. I know she loved him just as fiercely as he loved her; I saw it in the way they looked at each other and touched each other. They always made it a point to be with each other. I don’t know what changed, but if it was so easy for Mom to forget all of that, what’s to say the same wouldn’t happen to Declan and me?
“What are you thinking about?” Declan asks, coming back into the room and lying on the floor with me.
“Nothing,” I say quietly.
“I can see the tension coursing through you,” he whispers, pulling me close. “Talk to me. Please.”
I lift my head to look at him, and the concern on his face makes me pause.
This man would do anything for the people he cares about. He would hurt himself before he’d hurt me. I know that. Declan has proven that time and time again.
“It’s nothing.” I shift higher up his body, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I promise, I’m good.” I smile at him, lifting myself to sit, straddling his hips. I slide my still-wet center along his growing erection, trying to prove just how good I am.
“Quinn,” he groans, his hands moving to my hips as if to stop me, but there’s no strength in his grip.
“You said you only needed a minute.” I shift along his length again.
“I also said we’d move to the bed.” His grip on my hips tightens as he starts moving me over him.
I bend so my lips touch his as I say, “Next time.”