Chapter Two #2
‘Yes, a warm welcome…Dan,’ Lisa says. ‘I’m sure with all your experience, it’s going to be the strength Untold Media needs right now.
And I see you’ve already found a bunch of amazing stories and put them in the sheet.
’ She throws a pointed glance in my direction.
‘Unlike some people who’ve not had much to share this morning. ’
Look, I would’ve found them first, but I was too busy:
Having a gay crisis that my hot new neighbour is now my coworker, and Wiping coffee from my fucking chinos.
‘Also, team,’ Lisa goes on. ‘Dan here has a lot of videography experience, and knows how to fly a drone, so we might not have to hire a full-time Content Creator after all.’
The temperature of my blood rises at the same time my heart plummets, resulting in a fiery inferno.
I’ve been hinting to Lisa for the past three weeks that since I’ve been getting good views on my Instagram Reels, I want to shift into the new Content Creator position.
And I thought us hiring Dan was a sign of my manifestation coming to life.
I’ve even been looking at taking a drone flying workshop.
Blake introduces herself, telling Dan her main forte in the team: food writing.
Dan mentions how jealous he is that Blake gets to try all the new restaurants, bakeries, and cafés for free in return for a feature.
Blake then tells him he might be able to join her sometime on a media invite to one of the venues .
Um, excuse me, I want to shout as loud as possible. That spot is reserved for me.
After Cherry comes out with her introduction, being the breaking news writer (of good news), it’s my turn, telling him what I get up to while I’m not in the office writing articles, which includes being the media presence at arts events as well as adventure and travel experiences, whenever they come up.
Certainly not as much as the foodie events and menu samplings.
‘We got to go on a fancy day cruise to Moreton Island a few weeks ago, which was pretty cool,’ I boast, reminiscing about the freshly shucked oysters and glasses of champagne from those few Fridays ago.
Dan lets out a short laugh. ‘Sounds like my worst nightmare…because I get seasick. I can do jet skis, where I’m driving, but that’s about it.’
My urge to kill him subdues.
‘Noted, don’t send Dan on any cruises or boats,’ Lisa chimes in as she types furiously at her keyboard. ‘Vomit isn’t exactly on-brand.’
Blake sniggers and I follow suit.
Lisa shoots a stabbing stare in her direction. ‘Something funny, Blake?’
I try to keep my smile from turning into laughter by not looking at Blake.
Blake gathers herself. ‘No. It’s nothing.
I just had an intrusive thought of the time I chucked all over this guy who was really mean to me in high school.
Yeah, it was not nice at all, and I had to run as fast as I could to get away from him.
But the memory of it brings me immense joy. Yeah, immense joy.’
‘Alright, moving on,’ Lisa raises her voice. ‘So, a few things from me before we get started on stories for the day.’ She studies her notes. ‘Page views, reach, and engagement from last week are significantly down. Does anyone know why this might be?’
We all stare stunned at her. Lisa’s intimidating eyes appear hellish, so much so they seem to be popping open wider with each unanswered second passed.
‘Uh, well, that event article we wrote up last week but couldn’t publish because all the tickets were already sold out?’ I put forth.
Lisa’s demonic features deepen. ‘Yes, that might have something to do with it. Anything else?’
Cherry raises her hand.
‘Yes, speak,’ Lisa tells her.
‘I haven’t had as much video content going out this week, and we know the video content has been our biggest performers with reach and engagement as of late,’ Cherry explains. ‘Plus, I don’t know about any of you guys, but the algorithm has been a bit of a bitch lately.’
Lisa sighs, her face softening. ‘You’re right.
Yes, because our city page is nearing one of the biggest and creeping up to our competitors, the algorithm seems to have decided that we need to plateau.
So, I’ve decided we’re going back to our basics to boost numbers.
We’ll be focusing on the most engaging content we’ve published in the past. What are a few of those things? ’
Lisa points at Blake.
‘Food, alcohol, and music festivals.’
She then points at Cherry.
‘City-focused memes. Oh, and Instagram reels slash TikTok videos.’
Her finger’s now in my direction.
‘Ch-cheese?’ I sputter, an ardent grin stretched over my face.
Lisa looks at me as if I’m the stupidest person she’s ever come across in her life.
‘Cheese?’ she questions me.
From the corner of my eye, Blake has her head down, trying not to laugh.
‘Well, yeah,’ I reply, knowing quite well there’s a method to the madness of my input. ‘The cheese festival, eating pasta from a cheese wheel, truffle brie pizza – they’ve been some of our best performers in the past.’
Lisa groans. ‘You’re right. People love their fucking cheese. Kallen, can you take some time to repost our best cheese articles this week and also write a listicle of all the best cheese experiences in the city?’
I type: best cheese stuff into the notes on my laptop. ‘Sure thing.’
Lisa’s idea of a smile when she’s working results in her facial features all twisted – until she releases herself from the one thing she’s forcing.
‘Great. Thanks, Kallen. Now, I’ll leave you all in charge of upping the ante on those things you just mentioned.
I might be able to help you out during the week, but I also have a lot of sponsored content to write, alongside editing your articles, so I probably won’t help you, but the intention is there. ’
Every morning, after pitching our story ideas, Lisa chooses which ones we’re going to write based on what she thinks is going to perform the best. And so, we start defending our ideas to the death, with Cherry getting a new Strawberry Festival over the line.
Dan pitches the opening of a new sushi restaurant, which Lisa immediately highlights in green.
She does the same when I present the new queer stage play.
Then, Blake pitches a new food and art festival taking over New Farm Park.
We’re all assigned our pieces as well as a backlog of venue listings Lisa has added.
By the time I return to my spacious and formerly comfortable desk space, I’m reminded that it’s now half-occupied. Dan half-occupied. He’s taking up half, if not more than half, and it feels like I’ve been ripped of all my personal space.
‘Dan, if you have any questions, Kallen will be more than happy to answer them for you,’ Lisa says from across the room.
I wager a fake-smile. Dan’s oceanic eyes are visible from the corner of my pupils. He keeps glancing at me, then down in repetitive movements. So I turn my head to face him, exhaling the deep breath of shitfuckery I’ve been keeping inside.
‘Hey, Kallen, could you send me the login details for Later?’
I answer with a soft ‘ sure ’ of a whisper, turning back to my laptop and sending him the username and password.
‘Thanks. For some reason the ones in the access spreadsheet didn’t work,’ he says.
To which I reply, ‘That’s because on Friday I had to change the details and forgot to update the sheet.’
‘Right, well, I can update it if you’d like,’ he offers. His voice wavers, and he stumbles over the words.
I click a few times with my mouse. ‘Already done.’
He nods awkwardly. ‘No worries then.’
Deep breaths, I tell myself. He’s your coworker.
Not a competitor.
Your teammate…who’s also your neighbour.
Nothing to be worried about, right?