Chapter Twenty-One
KALLEN
In our rideshare to the Pride Parade, Blake and Connor ask why Hudson isn’t joining us today, my answer turning Blake’s forehead into a frown. ‘You’re fucking kidding!’ she yells. ‘Wow.’
‘Yeah, sorry, man,’ Connor adds, worry corrupting his face. ‘I thought he was legit when he said he was looking for something substantial. Fuck, I feel terrible.’
I palm it off. ‘It’s alright. Just wasn’t meant to be. I feel like this trip to Noosa has come at the right time, though.’
Blake lets out a laugh. ‘And you’re going with someone you pretty much hated until a week ago. Man, you’ve changed this month.’
An intrusive thought of Dan undressed in the office last night returns to my mind. ‘I guess I’ve realised he’s not the worst person in the world. Plus, I found out last night that he’s gay, so that’s another one of us to add to the work crew.’
Blake shoots me an interested look, cocking a brow as she comes out with a long and prolonged, ‘ Mmmmkayyyy .’
*
I seem to get more festive with every Pride parade . When I first moved to Brisbane, I remember being overwhelmed by the amount of people and floats and costumes. It was otherworldly to me.
Prior to living in the city, I’d been to a few small rallies at university, but other than that, the rainbow world had been shielded from me throughout childhood and school. Out of sight, out of mind, on purpose. But not by my choice.
Since Brisbane is relatively cold in June, Euphoria organises a heated pool party after the Pride Parade, where all the queers and allies can go celebrate, and dance from day till night.
The first person we spot when we reach the pool party, which is located on the rooftop of a boutique hotel in the city, is the general manager of Euphoria, Lenny, who greets us with open arms, wearing a floral button-up shirt and short swim shorts.
Crowds gather in the pool area, with not much room to move around.
‘Another year goes by, my babies,’ Lenny cries out, squeezing between Blake and I, arm around each of us. ‘I don’t care what anyone says, Pride Month is the real new year for me.’
When I first moved to Brisbane and Blake was doing drag, Lenny and I had some insightful conversations I’ll never forget.
Like me, Lenny sees his chosen family more than the one he was born into.
As much as I wish it wasn’t this way, he understands where I’m at when it comes to my biological family, which, of course, sometimes I forget.
But then when I see him, once or twice a year at best, I’m reminded of the big sunflower he is .
Lenny turns to Blake. ‘When are you coming back to Euphoria to do drag, my love?’
Blake’s eyes widen as she shrugs. ‘Where’s the time? It’s all work and two days off, with no sign of it getting any quieter.’
‘Blake has big news,’ I add.
She goes on to tell Lenny all about the baby and how they’ve decided to go with Hannah as the surrogate.
Lenny melts with outbursts of ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ followed by, ‘I’m gonna take a little bit of credit for making this happen,’ as he points from Blake to Connor.
To be fair, he deserves an ample amount of credit, granted it was his workplace they met at.
But before I can think about how single I am, a drink is spilled all over my back, the cold liquid of what smells like vodka lemonade sending shivers down my spine.
On reflex, I spin around to see who the culprit is, gathering himself after being bumped out of the way from a nearby group.
The result: his cup turned sideways onto me.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he says, all too familiar, almost unrecognisable in the heavy make-up and glitter. ‘Oh, hey…’
‘Dan!’ Blake cries out, moving in for a hug.
‘Um, hello, Dan does not get hugs, he just spilled a fucking drink on me,’ I pipe up.
‘This is their other coworker,’ Connor mentions to Lenny.
I continue to scowl at Dan. ‘Ugh, the one day I have enough confidence to wear a crop singlet.’
‘Sorry,’ Dan grimaces, wiping his hands on his T-shirt. ‘Let me buy you a drink and we can borrow a towel from the bartender.’
I groan and take my crop singlet off instead, now just in my swim shorts.
He shrugs as he says, ‘I mean, that kind of solves the problem.’
My eyes narrow further the longer I look at him.
Yet I don’t know why I’m angry, so I diffuse the situation by dropping my phone and house key in Blake’s hand, walking away, and jumping straight into the heated pool.
The water’s warm, so I’m kind of glad I had a drink spilled on me.
The DJ sounds louder from the pool, though what’s louder for a split second is the splash next to me, which sprays water all over my face.
Dan emerges from the surface.
‘Stickiness gone,’ he says, rather proud of himself.
‘Yeah, now I’m just wet,’ I say, back to glowering at him like the moody bitch I am.
‘I told the others we’d get drinks while they find a table,’ he says.
‘Where are your friends?’
‘Uh, I’m here alone. Ruby, Chloe and Jake came to the Parade, then wanted to go out to lunch at some restaurant. And I was like, ‘I visit enough restaurants during the week while I’m working’, and realised I’d never been to one of these pool parties.’ His gaze drifts around the floor.
‘And you’re making such a grand entrance,’ I say, feeling a sly smile play across my face. ‘Spilling drinks on people, making obnoxious splashing in the pool…’
Dan chuckles. ‘It’s my new forte. Anyway, how are you feeling today?’
‘Well, I’m gonna say better because I don’t think yesterday could’ve gotten any worse.’
‘Uh, it definitely could’ve.’ Dan puts things into perspective. ‘You could’ve ended up…drunk in a ditch.’
‘I was thinking about it.’
He chooses to ignore this one, right after Kylie Minogue’s voice over the speaker sends the pool area into a “la la la” chant. With my eyes closed, I sing along. As does Dan.
‘Wanna help me with these drinks?’ He gestures his hand to the bar. ‘Since they’re free, thanks to work.’
‘Yeah, sure,’ I say, following him to the nearest exit as we shimmy through the pool.
Once we order and receive, Dan and I look around the bar aimlessly to spot Blake and Connor; Dan holding a tray of drinks. Over in the corner, Blake spots us and waves her hand in the air. She and Connor have claimed a table under an umbrella toward the back of the pool.
‘You two looked like lost puppies for a second there,’ Blake points out, taking a drink from the tray. ‘I let you both stay lost for a tiny bit.’
‘You’re such a nice person,’ I josh, sipping on my blue beverage.
She wiggles her eyebrows. ‘I know,’ then asks, ‘How was the swim?’
I let a stray laugh free, shooting a glare in Dan’s direction. ‘Moist, unfortunately.’
Blake winces. ‘Please don’t say moist. ’
Connor raises his hand. ‘I second that. The word should be officially cancelled and deleted from the dictionary.’
I shrug it off. ‘Oh, c’mon, it can’t be the worst word going around. What about… flub.’
Blake furrows her brows. ‘Say what now?’
She, Connor, and Dan look equally confused.
‘It means to mess something up,’ I say, rather proud of myself.
‘And in pure word-of-the-day fashion, you have to use it in a sentence now,’ Dan tells me.
Using quotation marks with my fingers, I raise my voice. ‘I flub things up on the regular.’
Blake snorts into her drink before taking another sip. She then says, ‘You know what, I wanna get flubbed up.’
Connor’s stern gaze drifts to Blake. ‘Oh, what a flub there is at home. We can’t possibly get flubbed up today.’
Whenever Connor refers to a messy home, which he’s done a few times when we’ve been hanging out – usually when I’m about to come over – he’ll always ‘apologise in advance’ yet when I walk through the door, the place is spotless.
So when he calls out the mess at home, I tell him to enjoy the biggest Pride event of the year.
‘The Pride Month pool party only happens once, and next year you’ll have a baby, and when was the last time we all had a good dance? ’
He nods. ‘This is true. Way to put things in perspective, Kallen .’
*
By the time of sundown, the pool area starts flashing with lights, erupting with loud club music.
After the sunset drag show, which is undeniably fabulous, we’re well and truly flubbed up.
I’ve lost count of the blue cocktails I’ve consumed, and I’m on the dance floor with Blake, who’s getting down and dirty to BOTA .
Connor’s off dancing and chatting to some of his friends he hasn’t seen in a while.
Dan disappeared about an hour ago, right when we wanted to dance.
Probably avoiding us at all costs, the sad sack of shit.
Either that, or he’s off making out with some guy he encountered in the bathroom.
My drunk mind hopes for the first one, wondering why I even care about the second.
I don’t, do I? If anything, Dan can do whatever he wants.
It’s been fine hanging out with him today, but it’s not like hanging outside of work is going to be a regular occurrence.
Blake and Connor start making out on the dance floor when One More Time by Daft Punk plays. Mid-boogie, I come to the stark realisation that I need to pee, even though it’s only been fifteen minutes since I last had.
Dan isn’t in the bathroom. Must’ve gone home. Not that I care. Maybe I do. I don’t know.
Ugh, Kallen, no– stop it. He let you vent to him last night and hung out with you for a while today. Doesn’t mean anything.
Once I leave the bathroom and force myself to believe I don’t care Dan is no longer at the party, the man himself sneaks up behind me.
‘Hi,’ he says.
‘Hey,’ I say back .
‘Sorry I disappeared. Was chatting to my sister on the phone about her looking after my cat while we’re in Noosa.’
‘You disappeared? I didn’t even notice,’ I play.
‘Right,’ is all he replies.
My focus drifts to the direction of the pool – or rather, what’s in it.
I can’t believe it.
It’s Hudson, in the water with James, a guy I went home with after a night out at Euphoria last year.
We watch them make out for a few seconds before they break apart.
Hudson’s eyes wander to me, his smile fading for a moment as he spots me. But then he looks back to James and starts kissing him again.
‘You know them?’ Dan asks.
‘Very briefly,’ I say as we watch them kiss aggressively against the edge of the pool.
‘The one with the blond-ish hair, that’s Hudson , and the other is a guy I fooled around with last year.
He kicked me out of his apartment immediately after I told him I was keen to fool around but not fuck because I’m a side.
’ I pause, swallowing a lump in my throat, too far into the story to back out now.
‘He asked me how I can be gay and not like anal. I tried to explain that not everyone does. He couldn’t seem to understand that…
said he had someone lined up on Grindr who wanted to be fucked and told me to leave. Sorry, that’s major TMI .’
Dan’s lips part. ‘No, it’s totally fine. Honestly, it seems like you dodged a bullet there. Same with Hudson. To be honest, I’ve experienced similar. I don’t like labels and I’m not ex clusively a side, but it’s how I am a lot of the time. I’ve, ah, never met another side before.’
Our eyes lock, and for some reason, I can feel Dan, even though we’re standing beside each other.
‘Neither have I,’ I eventually say.
‘People can be so rude,’ Dan says, his smile slipping as he looks back to the couple in the pool.
Hudson now has his legs wrapped around James’ waist as they give us a show.
‘Douche is an understatement,’ I sigh.
Dan smirks. ‘Why don’t we give them a taste of their own medicine?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Do you like being kissed?’
‘Uh. Yeah. But ah…why?’
Dan’s eyes become penetrating as he turns to me, grin returning.
‘Can I kiss you?’ he asks.
My heartbeat kicks into double time. This is a BAD idea. The baddest of them all. But our faces keep moving closer. Mine moving a bit faster than his, as though a way of accepting his invitation. It’s somewhere between me also wanting to do something I shouldn’t and wanting this more than anything.
Our lips brush before collision.
And just like, we’re kissing. I’m kissing Dan Byers, my neighbour slash coworker slash maybe friend, the latter coming with a big fat question mark right now.
His lips are soft, moving in sync with mine as we keep kissing, locked in an embrace. Coconut from the blue cockta il lingers on his tongue. His hand skates through my hair, which sends a tingling sensation from my head downwards. Tingles that start to explode and blur sound from the music.
He finally pulls away, and it’s as if, in this moment, the whole situation with Hudson and James has dissipated. Because now, here’s Dan, still smiling at me when he says, ‘That was unexpected. I don’t know where that came from. I’m sorry. Was that okay?’
‘Uh, yeah. Totally cool. Fine. Yeah. Um.’ I’m not sure what else to say right now.
‘Should we go back to your place?’ Dan turns to me, an audacious confidence in his eyes. ‘Or my place. Since we live next door to each other and all.’
It doesn’t take me long to respond. ‘Well, Dan …now there’s an idea.’