Chapter Twenty-Six
DAN
Sometimes, I wish I had a badge on me that read in bold letters: I’M GAY . For situations like this one, where it’s not obvious and I’m too shy to say otherwise.
As we walk along the waterfront, it seems as though Shannon is flirting with me. She’s complimented me on my eyes three times in the past hour, and I’ve responded by saying how great her hair looks. It really is beautiful. Shannon is beautiful.
We get talking about the influencer space, and I ask Shannon how she got so successful.
‘For me, it was the constant showing up, and the confidence to be on camera all the time,’ Shannon tells me. ‘Bit of luck, too. Right place, right time kind of thing.’
‘I think that’s why I wasn’t so good at the travel influencer stuff when I was in Europe,’ I say, looking to the almost-full moon now visible in the sky. ‘I don’t like being on camera. But my last boyfriend loved it. He studied acting and did a few TV ads when we were together.’
‘Yeah true,’ Shannon says, unfazed. ‘It’s not natural at first. But I just got used to the camera.’
‘You’re so good in front of the camera,’ I admit, thinki ng of the model shoots of her that I’ve seen pop up on Instagram.
‘I think when I left my last job, I was keen to make money from travelling. But I didn’t realise I would need to be on social media all the time.
If I were to go back, I would’ve just used my time in Europe as a clean break, but I learned a few things… like how to fly a drone.’
Shannon lets out a short laugh. ‘Drones are fun. I don’t know how to fly one. I prefer to be in the footage.’
A smile sneaks up on me as water laps against the shore.
‘So, you got your eyes set on anyone in Brisbane?’ Shannon then asks.
I instantly think of Kallen back at the party – where I want to be.
I hope he doesn’t feel like I ditched him.
Though he’s much more extroverted than I am, so I’m sure he’s fine with Heather and Bec, and he’s probably made more friends too.
I just hope none of these new friends are handsome guys who Kallen might find an interest in.
‘Yeah, I do have my eyes set on someone,’ I say, my breath stumbling a little. ‘It’s a work in progress.’
‘Well, they’d be lucky to have you,’ Shannon says. ‘You seem like the kind of calm guy who could bring a crazy person down to earth. Honestly, if you didn’t work in media, I’d come after you. But unfortunately, I don’t shit where I eat. Bad experience there.’
I feel both relieved that Shannon isn’t pursuing me and disheartened at the thought of Kallen and me ending badly.
‘Oh, I’m flattered,’ I let out, face burning up a bit. ‘I’d be interested in you, too…if I didn’t play for the same team.’
Shannon’s eyes widen before her face softens again.
‘Well, that’s settled then.’ She goes on to tell me about the gu y she’s seeing.
How he’s not giving her the attention she wants, only hanging out with her when it suits him, to which I tell her she deserves someone who will treat her as a priority.
That if people are genuinely interested, they will make the effort to be with you.
She thanks me for the reminder, tells me her friends have been telling her the same thing, and when she gets back from Noosa, she’s going to dump his arse.
‘You go, girl,’ are my encouraging words to this.
By the time we return to the party, Kallen is nowhere to be seen. Heather and Bec say he’s gone back to the room, so I stay for one more drink with them, then head back myself.
As I enter, tiptoeing through, I see Kallen asleep on the bed, and I feel at home again, where being beside him is enough.
I make this happen quick smart after brushing my teeth.
The blankets are soft, and I feel warm next to him.
The closest we’ve been yet. But I keep my distance, enough not to wake him.
Cosy, still, beneath the blankets. Breaths of relief.
Even if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ll enjoy this moment for what it is.
Side by Side.
With him.