CHAPTER 20 #2
I give him a look of faked shocked delight, slapping a hand over my heart. ‘You got a “how are you?” What a privilege!’
‘I thought so. But I’ve gotten off track.
Okay. So. I’ve apologised for our…conflict.
’ He looks at me warily, daring me to challenge his characterisation of the fight.
I don’t. ‘But now I need to apologise for why you felt the need to run in the first place. I was a condescending prick. What right did I have to question a choice you were making for yourself? I should have just supported you.’
I scoff. ‘You don’t have to blindly sign on to every decision I make. Especially the stupid ones.’
‘But I don’t have to openly criticise you and make a difficult situation worse.’
‘That’s true,’ I concede. ‘I appreciate and accept your apology.’
‘Just like that?’ The hopeful look on his face makes him a decade younger in an instant.
‘Just like that.’
‘Lastly, and then I swear I will shut up because this has gone on for way too long, and there’s too much distance between us…
’ Nearly a metre and a half, but who’s counting?
‘And I’d like to touch you…if that’s what you want of course.
’ Circle back to the point, Arthur. ‘But I definitely can’t touch you while we’re talking about the next part, so I’ll make it quick.
’ He takes a deep breath, preparing himself.
‘You were right about William. Will. Wilbur. He’s a dick, and I just accepted it because he wasn’t a dick to me. ’
I shake my head, stepping forward and reaching out to him before remembering the thing about not touching till we’re finished talking.
My hand drops back to my side, and it feels so empty.
‘If you had no right to criticise my decisions about my friend, what right did I have to tell you to drop yours immediately?’
‘But you were right that I needed to have higher standards for my friends.’
I smirk at him. ‘Did you call him some choice names too?’
‘I did. Right before I told him to lose my number.’ It really isn’t a requirement for this reconciliation, but I’m secretly screaming inside that he made the decision to drop Billy all on his own. Personal growth is hot.
‘So, to summarise, we both need to communicate better, and we both need better friends?’
He takes one step, then another, and another, closer to me. He’s close enough to touch, and he does. He reaches both hands out to pull me by the waist and close the remaining distance. ‘Yep. That about sums it up. Missing one thing, though.’
My hands slide up to wrap around his neck. ‘What’s that?’
‘I’d like to date you,’ he says simply. Like it’s that easy.
Maybe it is. Also maybe my phone is vibrating. I quickly look away from him, reaching into my pocket to see that Nicole has texted five times, the previewed message demanding,
Where the fuck are you?
‘Are you seriously checking your phone right now during my heartfelt romantic declaration?’ Arthur asks, scandalised.
‘I know! I know! I’m sorry, the vibrating was distracting me. Look—I’m putting it on Do Not Disturb. Please continue telling me how obsessed you are with me and feel free to riff a little on how hot I am.’
‘You really are so fucking hot,’ he says, voice softer and lower now. His face is getting closer. ‘Even when you smell like soy sauce.’
And because I’m still a little bit of a self-sabotaging bitch who can’t help herself, I pull away slightly. Hurt and confusion flash across his face before he remembers to hide it.
‘I’m just…scared,’ I say. ‘I don’t know if we can ever be on equal footing because of how we started.’
He brings a hand up to stroke my cheek, smiling sweetly when he sees me lean further into it. ‘See, this is where we disagree. I don’t see us as being anything other than equals in this.’
I straighten up. Come on, mate. ‘This literally all started because you agreed to help excavate me for a personality.’
‘Yeah, and I realise now I was wrong about that.’ I go to interrupt and he stops me.
‘But not for the reasons you think. I don’t think cultivating some list of likes and dislikes is what makes you who you are.
I think you figured that out the second you actually started to consider that what you want might be important.
And since I also happen to think that what you want is important, I’d say there’s no more equal we could be. ’
We don’t need to talk anymore now. Our second first kiss is sloppy; I kind of miss his mouth and almost get his nose.
But we laugh and he leans back in, kissing me again and again—cheeks, forehead, mouth.
Each kiss a promise, an invisible mark to tell me how serious he is.
One hand in my hair and the other on my hip, five points of contact to prove that this is real, that he’s not going anywhere.
He presses an open-mouthed kiss behind my ear, and nips at my lobe.
Whatever little noise I make draws a groan from deep within him and he kisses eagerly down my throat.
It’s a little bit funny, the new groan of frustration when he reaches my starched and fully buttoned shirt collar.
I can see him stare at it for a moment, contemplating undressing me here and now, but a small part of my brain is aware that I’m in an unlocked room at work, so I pull him by the curls back up to me. He seems satisfied with the choice.
A few minutes later, or possibly an hour, couldn’t tell you, the kisses slow.
Then we’re just staring at each other. He’s so close I can see every freckle on his nose and what looks like a faint scar between his eyebrows that I’ve never noticed but want to ask about later.
It should be so weird standing in the middle of a manager’s office repurposed as a staffroom holding a man I just made out with for an undetermined amount of time, all while sticky with condiments, but it’s not.
He nuzzles my nose. ‘You’re a lot,’ he whispers. He kisses my cheeks. ‘If anything, you’re too much.’ A kiss on my neck. ‘You’re everything.’
Might feel like an insult to some women, but Arthur knows how to get me going.
‘Good chat,’ I say, my voice weak.
‘Great chat,’ he replies into my hair.
‘First of many.’ I push him back. ‘But not right now. I have to get back to work,’ I say, and I hate every single word as it leaves my mouth.
‘But why?’ he whines, dragging out the final syllable. If anything, his grip on my lower back tightens.
‘I still have, like, three hours left on this shift. And I’m surprised no one has walked in on us here yet, unless Nicole is running interference. Or Bee, I guess.’
He sighs but lets me go. ‘I’m seeing the flaw in my plan of ambushing you at work now.’
‘Yeah, you really didn’t think this through.’
‘Eh, I’m not complaining about the outcome.’ Then we’re touching again and kissing again, and it’s just another five minutes of me not going back to work.
Once I force him to stand in one corner of the room while I stand in the other, he agrees to come back and pick me up from work. Even promises to come bearing food. ‘But we’re going to mine, Gertie,’ he declares. ‘I’m sorry, but I’m way too old to wake up in a uni share house.’
I cross my arms. Can’t wait to tell him he has just started dating a uni student. ‘If you want to be with me, you’re going to have to learn.’
‘Not tonight.’
‘Deal. You know, you’re surprisingly stubborn. I never knew that. In fact, we haven’t talked nearly enough about you this entire relationship, so we might need to redress the balance there.’
He laughs, and I think: this laugh is mine now.
He opens the door and gestures for me to leave first. I show him to the elevator and kiss him goodbye as it opens. It simultaneously feels like an easy, simple thing we’ve been doing for years and something inexplicably monumental.
Someday I’ll find out every little quirk he has. And I’ll tell him all about me, too. My childhood. My parents. The gambling. Bee. Uni. But that’s the beauty of it. We’ve got all the time in the world.