Chapter 34
Ainsley
“How do you feel?”
I push the mascara wand back into the tube, and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
How do I feel?
I’m going on a date with Landon Fletcher.
I flatten my palms on top of the dresser. “Oh, God. What am I doing, Ivori?”
“Okay, okay. Take a deep breath. Forget I asked.” She waves her hands in front of her phone screen. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I gulp down big breaths, and blow them out through my lips. “This is insane. I spent so much time hating this man, and now I’m going on a date with him? But...I want to. I like him. So, why am I so nervous?”
“The nerves just mean you’re outside of your comfort zone.
You haven’t let anyone take you on a date that wasn’t ending in a one-night-stand.
But this is Landon, not some meaningless hookup.
You’re nervous because you know it’s important.
” Ivori dips her head and looks into my eyes.
“The universe brought you back together for a reason, so you can both finally move past what happened between you and be happy together.”
“What if I can’t do this? What if I’m not good at relationships and I end up hurting Landon? Or what if he realizes he misses being in California, and he wants to go back?”
Ivori’s head tilts. “Is that what this is about? You’re worried he’s going to leave again?”
I hike a shoulder. “I think I’m just worried about everything. I’ve never done this before. God, it’s so much easier being a bad bitch. Why did I have to go and catch feelings? Is this what it’s like for you people? You enjoy this?”
Ivori cackles. “Welcome to the world of dating, my love.” Her laughter fades as she sobers. “Take it one day at a time. Tonight, you’re going on a date with Landon. Tomorrow, you’re painting your bedroom. Don’t think about what’ll happen after that. Just focus on tonight.”
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip. “Okay.”
The doorbell chimes, and my shoulders hike up to my earlobes. “Oh, fuck. He’s here.”
“Relax.” She chuckles. “Go enjoy yourself. You deserve to have some fun.”
My heart gallops into my throat, and I swallow it back down.
One day at a time.
It’s just Landon.
And we’re going to have fun tonight.
Excitement and anticipation course through my veins.
I’m going on a date with Landon Fletcher.
Teenage me would be so excited.
“I’ll stalk your location so I can see where he’s taking you.” Ivori squeals. “Have fun!”
I wave before ending the call, and then I head downstairs.
Landon stands on the porch in jeans and a black T-shirt. But all I see is his backwards baseball hat.
I lick my lips and yank his arm through the doorframe. “Think we have time for a quickie?”
His laughter rumbles in his chest as he grips my hips. “It’s the hat, isn’t it?”
“Mm-hmm.” I nip at his bottom lip. “It just does something to me.”
“Well, you look sexy as hell, as always.” He presses a chaste kiss to my mouth and then holds me out in front of him as his eyes appraise me.
Landon said casual, so I went with baggy jeans with enough stretch to not feel like jeans, and a white spaghetti-strap tank top.
And sneakers, because duh.
It’s ironic he’s in black and I’m in white. We’re like yin and yang. Opposites, yet we fit so well together.
“As much as I’d love to, we don’t have time for a quickie.” Landon glances at his phone. “We have three-hour road trip ahead of us.”
My eyebrows jump. “I’m sorry, what?”
He grins. “I got us tickets to the PLL game playing in Albany.”
My mouth drops open. “We’re going to a lacrosse game?”
He nods. “California is playing New York. Figured it was the perfect opportunity to go.”
I arch a brow. “Oh?”
“Yup.” He pops the P on the end, and adrenaline shoots through me.
I swipe my clutch off the entryway table and drag him outside. “You’re so going down, Fletcher.”
I’ve been dying to watch a professional lacrosse game for years, and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. It’s the perfect date choice, and he’s the only one who would’ve known it.
Landon laces our fingers together as we walk down the driveway, and clasps my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. But this is uncharted territory for us. We’ve known each other for what seems like forever, yet it’s like I don’t know how to act around him.
How is he so calm? So sure that we’ll work out? Why isn’t he worried?
“Hey.” Landon stops at his passenger door, and turns to face me. “I know you’re freaking out in that head of yours.”
I blow out a puff of air, and roll my eyes. “I’m not freaking out.”
He holds up our interlaced fingers. “You’re squeezing me so hard I’m losing circulation.”
I grimace as I drop his hand. “Okay, maybe I’m freaking out a little.”
“Listen to me.” He takes my face into his hands. “I don’t want us to second-guess every move we make. I want us to be natural. I want us to do what feels right. Hold hands if we want to.” He brushes his lips over mine. “Kiss if we want to.”
I lean forward and press my lips to his. “I definitely want to kiss.”
He grins, and steps back to swing open the passenger door for me. “Then let’s go.”
“Wait, are we staying in Albany or driving back home? Won’t it be late?”
Landon smirks as he gestures to the back seat of his Explorer. “Ivori already packed an overnight bag for you.”
My chin jerks back. “Wow. You have all your bases covered.”
“I’m nothing if not prepared.”
I laugh as I hoist myself into the passenger seat. “Hurry up, Fletcher. You know what they say: If you’re not early, you’re late.”
Once Landon backs out of the driveway, I lean forward and switch on the radio. I browse the stations, attempting to find something upbeat and suitable for our road trip.
My fingers freeze when Everlong floats through the speakers. I grin, turning the knob to raise the volume, and I wait for it.
Landon’s thumb twitches. Then it turns into a steady tap.
I start to sing, low at first, egging him on.
His head bobs to the beat, and soon, he’s singing along with me.
And when the chorus hits, he lifts his hands, and smacks his palms on the steering wheel, whaling on the imaginary drums. We belt out the lyrics at the top of our lungs.
I whip my hair around, head banging like a rock star, and Landon’s deep laughter fills the car.
“These kids today don’t know what good music is,” he says.
“Spoken like a true old person.” I lean back against the seat and watch the trees out my window as we pass them. “High school doesn’t feel like that long ago, but it really was.”
Landon nods. “A lot has changed.”
I roll my head to the side to stare at his profile. “What was it like in California?”
“It was a different kind of beautiful. Palm trees, and sunny, warm weather almost all of the time. The ocean was nice, but we have that here.” Landon hikes a shoulder, and slides his palm around my thigh as he drives. “I missed home.”
“I guess I imagined you had the perfect life out there.”
“I always knew I’d come back home if my mom ever left my dad. It was always in the back of my mind.”
I cover his hand with mine. “Do you ever talk to Frank?”
Landon’s jaw works under his skin. “He’s tried to reach out over the last few years. He left a couple of messages. But I haven’t returned his calls. I have nothing to say to him.”
“Maybe you should hear him out. Maybe he regrets what he did.”
Landon’s top lip curls. “What is there to hear? I’m sorry I loved alcohol more than you? I’m sorry I hurt your mother? Sorry I ruined our family? I don’t need to hear his bullshit apologies.”
“It’s not about the apology. I’m not saying you have to be close to him, or spend father-son time together. But it might help to talk to him, to heal those scars, and move on.” I hike a shoulder. “Like it did with us.”
“We are different.”
“I know.” I reach up and stroke his jaw. “I’m just saying, it might be good for you to forgive him.”
“He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.”
“The forgiveness isn’t for him. It’s for you.”
He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to each of my knuckles. “Your forgiveness is the only thing I care about.” He sets my hand back in my lap, and I clutch his with both of mine. “I was so nervous coming back and seeing you. I didn’t know how you’d react.”
I arch a brow. “You mean when you ambushed me in Danbury’s office?”
He grimaces as he flicks on his blinker to turn. “Figured it was best to rip it off like a band aid.”
“I was so surprised.” I shake my head. “I’d have expected Freddy Kruger to walk through that door before you did.”
Landon grins. “Bet you wished it was Freddy.”
“I was so angry at you for shutting me out back then.” I look down at our hands clasped together. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was helping you. But I think it was just another way for me to try to control everything. As if I knew best.”
Landon heaves a long sigh. “You were doing the right thing. If I’d have played the rest of that game and gotten hurt, I might’ve been out for the rest of the season.
At least I was able to get another offer from a scout.
” He side-eyes me. “I might not have been able to do that if you hadn’t gotten me benched that game. ”
“It was difficult keeping your secret all those years. I wanted to run to the police and have your father arrested. I kept racking my brain for something to do to get him away from you guys. But my father told me you can only help people who want to be helped. And I don’t think your mom was ready yet. ”
“I’m sorry I put that on you.” Landon rolls to a stop at a red light, and turns in his seat to face me. “I needed someone to lean on, but I didn’t think about how it affected you.”
“I would’ve carried it all if I thought it would help you.” My eyes bounce between his. “I cared about you so much. It broke me when you left, even if I understood why you did.”
Landon leans over the center console and reaches for me, pulling my lips to his. “I don’t plan on leaving you ever again, Ainsley. I know you don’t trust easily, and I know I’ll need to prove myself to you. But I’m not going anywhere. Jersey is my home. You are my home, my calm through the storm.”
We kiss, and it’s full of pain and passion, surrounded by the truth and the weight of our confessions. I pour myself into him, the years of pent-up feelings, the hurt, and anger, and longing brimming over the edge.
A car horn sounds behind us, and we pull back. I’m quiet while Landon continues driving, and he lets me sink into my thoughts for a while. We spend the remainder of the ride listening to music and snacking on treats Landon brought. The man is truly prepared for everything.
Instead of making fun of him, my heart warms at all the care and effort he put into this date.
“Thank you for this,” I say. “I appreciate you getting me out of the house and out of my head. I know it isn’t easy for you to leave your mom.”
“I think I needed to get out too. I’m always worried about her, and checking my phone to see if she called.”
I nod, totally understanding that. “Nobody prepares you for the part in life where your parents stop taking care of you, and you have to take care of them.”
“You were so strong taking care of your dad at such a young age.” Landon shakes my thigh. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
I offer him an innocent smile. “I always told you I was stronger and faster than you.”
He barks out a laugh. “Okay, find some good music so I don’t have to hear you feed your ego anymore.”
“What’s your wager, Golden Boy?”
A devilish gleam flickers in his eyes. “I’ve had some time to think about this.”
“An unfair advantage,” I point out.
“If California wins, you have to wear my old high school jersey for me.” He waggles his eyebrows.
I laugh, scrunching my nose. “Seriously? That’s what you want?”
He gives me a fervent nod. “Oh, yes. Very much so.”
“Okay, fine.” I tap my finger against my chin. “When I win, you have to cook me dinner in nothing but an apron.”
His head falls back as he laughs. “Deal.”
We shake on it, and then the game begins.
I’m on the edge of my seat for the entire first quarter. This game is intense and violent.
And I love it.
Going into the second quarter, California is up by two points, but it’s been a close game so I have no doubt New York will answer back with more goals.
“Cali’s looking strong,” Landon says, leaning in to nudge me with his shoulder.
I nudge him back without taking my eyes off the field. “It’s not even close to being over.”
Both teams score in the remainder of the quarter, and New York closes the gap. It’s a tied game going into half-time.
I rub my palms together. “Tied-up, baby. This is getting good.”
Landon laughs before he leans in and steals a kiss. “I love when you get competitive.”
“You bring it out in me. I think—”
“Ladies and gentleman,” the stadium announcer says. “Please bring your attention to the Jumbotron and join me in celebrating some special people with us tonight.”
Landon and I pause our conversation as we look up at the giant screen. The cameraman zooms in on an elderly man sitting in the audience. “Army Veteran Parker Jones, from Buffalo, New York, has served our country for over twenty years.”
We clap as the crowd cheers, and Parker waves.
The camera pans to a young boy. “Colby Brentwood of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, turns six today.”
Colby jumps up and down, cheering for himself along with the crowd.
The camera pans to the next person, and then I’m staring at myself.
Me.
It’s me.
On the Jumbotron.
My eyes widen as I turn to look at Landon.
He’s grinning like a madman.
“Ainsley Morgan from Breakwater, New Jersey,” the announcer says. “She was the first ever female to play on the boys’ lacrosse team in her high school in 2008.”
The crowd goes wild, and Beyonce’s Run the World blares through the loudspeaker.
Heat rushes into my face as I lift a meek hand and wave.
Landon holds up his phone, snapping pictures and no doubt sending them to Ivori and Evan.
I smile as I speak to Landon through gritted teeth. “I’m going to kill you.”
“Not in front of all these people.” He leans in and smacks a kiss to my cheek.
Once the camera is off me, I jab him in the leg.
He laughs, clutching his leg. “I just wanted you to be recognized, baby. Let me be a proud boyfriend.”
I glare, but there’s no malice behind my eyes. “You’re about to be a dead boyfriend.”
Landon puffs out his chest. “But I’m still your boyfriend.”
Oh.
“Are you?” I ask. “My boyfriend?”
“If you’d like me to be, then I’d be very much interested in being your boyfriend.”
My heart stutters, and warmth rushes over me. “I think I’d like that too.”
A wide smile sweeps over his face, and he leans in close. “I’ve always been proud of you for your achievements. You’re an incredible force of a human, and now everyone in this stadium knows it too.”
I never thought I’d say it, but feels good to be on the same team as Landon, instead of competing against him. With our past behind us, and our issues resolved, I’m excited to enjoy the now.
Regardless of what the future brings.