Chapter 24 Ethan
Ethan
The next month flies by in a whirlwind of secret rendezvous at my place three to four nights a week—strictly no sleepovers—and some serious make-out sessions in my office, though we don’t take things any further on campus.
We both know we’re flirting with danger, especially with Andy back at work and sniffing around.
We’re keeping things fun and casual, but the more time I spend with her, the harder it is to remember it can’t last. Leni’s so multi-faceted, and she sees the world with a clarity I didn’t expect from someone her age.
Her age.
I have to keep reminding myself she’s only twenty-two.
There have been so many nights we’ve laid in my bed wrapped around each other, discussing classic literature or poetry, or she’ll challenge a historical interpretation I’ve taught for years, offering me a different insight into topics I never would have considered.
She’s a deep thinker, and absorbs everything, processing it with quiet intelligence and critical thinking.
The best part about her? She listens. Not in the polite nod and smile way people do when they’re waiting for their turn to speak. She really listens, and once she’s taken it all in and processed it, she’ll ask the thought-provoking questions.
She’s read everything, and not just read, but internalised, and she’ll talk about love or loneliness or art with an aching depth, like she’s lived ten lives already and she’s just humouring the rest of us while we catch up.
I love listening to her talk. She keeps me on my toes, and I never know what she’ll say next. She challenges me, making me want to think deeper and understand more.
The Leni who casually quotes Rilke or Virginia Woolf, or some 19th-century poet I’ve never even heard of, is in complete contrast to the effervescent Leni who’s loud in a way that’s charming and full of big laughs and drama—the Leni who will draw everyone in when she’s up on that stage delivering captivating monologues and shining like the star she deserves to be.
“I was thinking about us today,” she says, popping a strawberry into her mouth. Her head rests in my lap as we lounge on the couch. She’s reading a book of poetry, while I mark some assignments.
I hum in response; my thoughts consumed with leaning in and tasting the sweetness from her lips.
She smiles like she knows what I’m thinking but continues talking. “I was reading Woolf’s collected essays, and there was this line… Arrange whatever pieces come your way. It made me think we don’t wait for our lives to be perfect, we shape it ourselves with whatever opportunities come our way.”
“That reminds you of us?”
She nods, the movement brushing against my cock as he stirs to life. “It made me think about how none of this was planned, but we’re making the most of the time we have.”
My chest tightens at the reminder of our looming deadline. “Leni—”
She presses her finger against my lips. “We’re living in the moment, Ethan, and enjoying all the pieces that come our way.”
She’s a breath of fresh air, and I hadn’t realised how starved I’d been for human interaction in my personal life. After Dylan left for university, Vanessa and I were like two ghosts passing through the house, and our conversation consisted of who’d be home for dinner, and what we’d be eating.
For the first time in years, I feel like I’ve met my match on both an intellectual and sexual level, and it fills this emptiness I didn’t even realise was there.
That’s what makes this so dangerous, because I’m not just in awe of her, I’m starting to need her, which will make walking away one thousand times more difficult.
Leni deserves the kind of love that doesn’t come with caveats or timelines, but I’m selfishly starting to wonder if maybe we can make this work.
We both plan on leaving Beckford when she graduates…
Why can’t we go somewhere together? Would she want that, or am I simply an itch she’s scratching, someone she’ll look back on with nostalgia after she outgrows this version of herself?
With our final away game against Coleridge this weekend, I decide to throw caution to the wind and see where we stand. So, when Andy walks into my office on Friday morning, I set my plan in motion.
“You look better,” I note when he perches on the end of my couch.
“It’s good to be up and about again,” he admits. “I honestly felt like I’d been hit by a truck, then hit again two or three times.”
I arch a brow. “You better be one hundred per cent if you’re in here. I don’t want to catch glandular fever.”
“Mate, you would have been infected on day zero when you dropped me home, but if you haven’t got it yet, I’d say you’re good. Lucky bastard.” He mutters the last part under his breath, and I laugh.
“It’s good to have you back.” Although I’m missing the opportunity to see Leni in class once a week.
Maybe I need to find reasons to drop in on Andy while he’s teaching her.
Send her some flirty text messages while she’s supposed to be listening to him and give her a little taste of her own medicine. Hmm… that could be intriguing.
“So, Coleridge this weekend?”
I nod. “They’re sitting fourth, but if we win, we secure the championship.”
He grins. “Celebrations at Euphoria?”
“You’re recovering from glandular fever,” I remind him with a disapproving frown.
“Yeah, and my dick hasn’t seen any action other than my right hand for the past month and a half.”
I can’t stop the bewildered laugh that escapes my lips. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy for some pussy. Speaking of… I never got to ask how things went with the devil girl? Did you finally kick the Vanessa-curse once and for all?”
“The Vanessa-curse?” I arch a brow. “Where do you come up with this shit?”
He shrugs. “You didn’t answer the question.”
My thoughts drift to Leni, but I quickly shove them away. Even though my best mate is a sexual-deviant, I’m pretty sure even he would draw the line at sleeping with a student.
“I don’t kiss and tell.”
He narrows his eyes, studying me while I try to maintain my composure under his calculating gaze, but I feel the heat rising from my collar all the way to my face.
“You totally shagged her, you dirty dog. You don’t have to tell me the details,” he continues when I flinch. “I’m just glad you’re moving on, which is why I think you should come celebrate with me.”
“It’s not a masked night,” I point out. “Besides, I’ve cancelled my membership.”
“Why?”
“I’m leaving Beckford.”
“In a month. Plenty of time to have some fun.”
I shake my head. “I’m good.”
“Something’s going on,” Andy says, too perceptive for his own good. “I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
Not a fucking chance.
“You ready to take the reins on this game?”
The redirect works, and his eyes widen. “Are you sure?”
“If you’re feeling up to it.”
He nods. “I’m fine. Well rested.”
I grin. “The guys may as well get used to their new coach.”
“I learned from the best.” He reaches out and we shake hands. “You sure I can’t convince you to celebrate my promotion?”
“Nice try. Actually, can I ask a favour?”
“Shoot. I owe you.”
“Do you still have the keys to your parents’ cabin in Wallangarra?” It’s risky asking to use his place for a weekend away with a student, but the cabin’s in remote bushland, and it’s only twenty-minutes away from Coleridge. It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.
“Yeah, why’s that?”
“Think they’d mind if I crashed there for a night? It’s been a crazy month, and I just need to… unwind. Go off-grid, get a change of scenery, relax.”
I mentally berate myself to shut up and not lay it on too thick. The last thing I want is him getting suspicious. Thankfully, he nods and pulls out his keys, unwinding the one for the cabin off his keyring.
“Of course. They’re still over in WA. It’s the least I can do after you covered for me while I was sick.
” He places the key on my desk. “Just don’t ask me to keep you company.
You know I go stir crazy stuck out there without internet, and as horny as my dick is right now, I’m not really into the Brokeback Mountain scene if you catch my drift. ”
“Loud and clear, my friend.” I pick up the key and pocket it. “Thanks for this.”
“No worries.” Smirking, he winks. “There are better ways to unwind, you know.”
I roll my eyes, ignoring him. If only he knew.
After Andy leaves, I pull out my phone and text Leni.
Ethan: Tell me you don’t have plans this weekend.
I tap my fingers on my desk, my knee bouncing as I wait for her to respond. Thankfully, she doesn’t make me wait long.
Little Devil: I don’t have plans this weekend
Ethan: Are you being smart, little devil?
Little Devil: Depends. What will you do to me if I am?
Groaning, I shift in my chair as my dick twitches with anticipation of all the things I want to do to her this weekend. She’s so good at getting under my skin in all the right ways.
Ethan: Behave. Can you get away for the weekend?
Little Devil: Are you inviting me on a dirty weekend, sir?
Ethan: Leni…
Little Devil: Ethan…
Little Devil: I can get away. What did you have in mind?
My heart beats double time as I leave my office for my next lecture, and I feel like a teenager asking his first crush out on a date. Who even am I?
Ethan: We have an away game in Coleridge tomorrow at 1pm. If you can be at my place by 9am, I can drop you off at the cabin and you can hang out. I’ll be back there by 3:30 at the latest.
Little Devil: Ooh cabin… sounds cosy. But does that mean I don’t get to watch Beckford’s hottest coach do his thing?
A thrill rolls through me at the thought of her in the crowd, her eyes firmly locked on me and not the players.
Ethan: As much as I’d love that, it’s too risky.
Little Devil: True. So, tell me… what does one pack for a night in a cosy cabin?
Ethan: You won’t need much
Little Devil: I’m intrigued. Will there be board games involved?
Ethan: We can do whatever you want.
If I’m being honest with myself, while the sex with Leni is off the charts hot, I’m looking forward to spending time with the little devil and getting to know her better…
even if it’s dangerous. She’s a hurricane who blew into my life right when I needed her, creating chaos and upsetting my equilibrium, but in the best way possible.
Ever since the night I met her at Euphoria, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the girl with the bright, reckless smile that lights up a room, and her unapologetic, don’t give a fuck energy.
She dragged me out of the dark rut I’d fallen into and gave my life a sense of purpose again.
Then, when I got a glimpse of her unfiltered vulnerability, I was hooked.
She’s a high I never want to come down from.
Despite her confident, upbeat personality, I can see the scars she hides behind her carefully crafted mask, and I want to be the man who breaks down her walls and builds her up again.
I know it’ll hurt when I have to walk away in a couple of months, but selfishly, I don’t mind being a chapter in her story, even if it kills me that I can’t be the whole goddamn book.
Leni is young. She’s going to fall in love and have her heart broken many more times before she finds the one.
She’s already had one arsehole try to steal her innocence, and another treat her like she’s worthless.
Even though it kills me to know she’ll eventually be with someone else, I’ll show her what she deserves.
Little Devil: Kinky.
Little Devil: I have to go perform my monologue, but I’ll see you tomorrow.
Little Devil: Sir
Ethan: Break a leg.
I’m unable to wipe the stupid grin off my face as I cut across the lawn, acknowledging a couple of my players on their way to class.
It’s been a while since I felt so… I don’t know.
Free? Happy? I can’t quite describe this weightless feeling.
At the same time, I have this surge of energy, like I just want to run.
After allowing my broken marriage to pull me into a wicked slump, I was sleepwalking through days with nothing but a mind full of static and a heart full of pain.
Now, I finally feel like myself again. Not Ethan the husband, or Ethan the dad.
Not Ethan the coach or professor. Just me—whoever that is.
I’m no longer a shadow, and it’s all thanks to Leni.