23. Archer #2
My dad clears his throat, placing a hand at the center of my shoulder blades. “Let’s head inside and talk it out.”
My stomach drops. It somehow feels like everyone around me already knows.
Ten minutes later, Allie and I sit beside each other on the couch. Zander sits on the bottom step of the staircase to my left, while my dad stands against the banister. Macie and Dom are seated in the twin arm chairs across from us, and my mom sits on a stool Dad pulled in from the kitchen.
Allie heaps another spoonful of peanut butter onto her banana before taking a bite. “Um… so…”
She looks at me, eyes pleading.
I nod, placing my hand over her thigh as I clear my throat. “Allie is… Uh… We—” I rub the back of my neck. The words sit at the back of my throat but the trepidation crawling from my gut keeps its claws in them, holding them tight. “We are…”
My mom sighs, and I can’t tell if it’s in frustration or pity, but when my eyes flash to her, she’s smiling solemnly. “Having a baby?”
I blink, surprised by how obvious it must be.
“You’re home, asking to have some ominous talk.
” She nods toward Allie, whose mid-bite of her peanut butter-smothered banana.
“She doesn’t even like peanut butter, she’s wearing a sweatshirt that’s about three sizes too big, and…
” She pops her brows, addressing Allie now.
“You’ve been more irritable than usual at work. ”
A broken laugh leaves my lips as I scratch my jaw. “Yeah,” I whisper. “We’re having a baby.”
It’s pin-drop silent in the room, and I glance at Allie, her eyes are pinned on her parents. I follow her gaze to find her dad with his arms crossed, staring at his feet. Macie’s watching her daughter, eyes misty, before she leaps from her chair and comes to sit beside us.
Macie wraps her arms around her daughter, and it’s quiet for a second before the muffled sound of crying echoes through the room, and Allie’s shoulders begin shaking with her sobs.
“Oh, my girl.” Macie hushes her. “It’s okay.”
I gently pull the half-eaten banana from Allie’s hand so she can hug her mother thoroughly, and as I set it down on the coffee table, my mom takes a place next to me. She pulls me against her as she extends her arm past me to rub Allie’s back.
“You two must be so scared,” she whispers, tone hollow, as if she knows the feeling well.
I’m so much taller than my mom that my chin rests just above her head, and when I lift my gaze, my eyes land on my dad’s, who is watching her with so much adoration—understanding. They flick to me, crinkling at the corners as he tosses a smile in my direction.
Complete and utter confidence written on his face.
You’ll be all right, he mouths.
For the first time since receiving that phone call from my brother, I feel like I may be capable. Of being a dad, of carrying Allie through this phase of life, of still living my dream. Finding balance in it all.
My eyes are pulled to Dom as he stands, peering down at his daughter with a deep furrow in his brow. He doesn’t look angry, he just looks…devastated. Afraid.
When Allie pulls back from her mom and gazes up at him with tear-stained eyes, he sighs.
“C’mere,” he whispers, dropping to the floor in front of the couch and opening his arms. She falls into his chest, and as he cradles her head, he murmurs repeated reassurances of, “It’s okay, baby,” and “You’re safe,” and “I’ve got you. ”
It takes a few more minutes for the news to settle for each of us as we work through our emotions. Zander sits silently on the stairs. Eventually, my dad comes to hug me, whispering again that it’s all going to be okay.
Somehow, all of us end up huddled on the couch and the floor in front of it, and the tension somewhat breaks when Allie asks me to hand her back her banana, allowing a fit of laughter to float throughout the room.
“So, do you two have a plan yet?”
Allie looks at me, fear echoing in her dark eyes.
“Not yet,” I say honestly.
“Why don’t we take some time to settle with the news?” Mom asks. “Enjoy the holiday together, and we can figure the rest out later. We’ve got time.”
“How far along are you?” Macie asks.
“Oh. Um… Yeah.” Allie laughs breathlessly, adjusting herself to reach into her purse and pull out the sonogram the doctor gave us. “I’m sixteen weeks. We had an appointment yesterday, and the baby is looking really—”
“Sixteen weeks?” my mom exclaims.
“You’re four months pregnant, Allie?” her dad asks—tone gruff and shocked. “Wh-when did this happen? I assumed it was that weekend you went to visit Archer in October but…that can’t be right.” He looks at Macie. “Can it?”
“Um…July,” Allie says softly, eyes finding mine.
“Was it…planned?” Macie asks.
“No.” Allie shakes her head. “I’m just stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” I rasp.
“I was supposed to get my birth control replaced months ago and kept putting it off. I thought I was still protected, and I wasn’t…” Allie’s gaze falls to her lap, as if in shame.
“Well, I didn’t pull—” I stop myself when my eyes unfortunately land on Dominic, who is shooting me a death glare. “It was both of our fault. Equally.”
“So, you’re due…”
“April twenty-ninth,” I say.
“Why did you keep this from us so long?” Macie asks, devastation shining in her eyes. “Why didn’t you want to tell me you’re having a baby?”
Allie shakes her head rapidly, refuting her mother’s claim. “It wasn’t that. I just needed Archer to know first.” She swallows before lifting her shoulders to her ears. “Well… Willow and Zander knew too, I guess.”
Humiliation surges in me at the reminder that I wasn’t the first person to know about my own child. It’s some kind of instinctual shame, a biological response. It’s my baby. Mine to protect, mine to nurture—and it’s a fundamental failure that I wasn’t here since the moment Allie found out.
“And that’s why you're home now?” my mom asks.
There is something deeper shimmering in her blue eyes as she studies me. There is more she wants to say, but she’s holding back.
I nod.
“Are you going back to Texas?” It’s my dad’s voice flowing through the room now.
“I don’t know,” I murmur at the same time Allie confidently states, “Yes, he is.”
We glance at each other as an awkward haze blankets the room, a long, stretched silence following.
“Okay…let’s table that for now.” My mom sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“You’re both so young, and I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to feel like it fucking sucks sometimes.
You don’t get to do what everyone else does at twenty-one.
You don’t have the luxury of being irresponsible or immature in the way that others your age will get to.
Everything is going to look different now. You exist differently now.”
“Are you disappointed in us?” Allie asks, and I can’t tell who the question is directed at.
“I think the timing of it sucks. I think you’re too young, and you’re going to have to make sacrifices now that I wish you didn't have to,” Macie says.
“But I’m not disappointed in you, because I have so much faith that you are going to navigate this new journey with nothing but grace.
You will be incredible, Allie Bee.” She lifts her gaze to me, her signature smile sparkling. “You too, Archer.”
Our dads nod in agreement, and Allie takes a long, deep exhale beside me.
“Okay, enough heavy.” Macie claps her hands together. “Let me see that bump. Do you have a doctor already? I need to meet them. Where are you giving birth? And when is the baby shower—”
“Mom. Please.” Allie laughs, handing me the sonogram as she stands from the couch and unzips her jacket. “Dr. Elliott referred me to a great clinic down here, and my doctor is great.” She glances at me. “We’re going to meet with a midwife too…I think.”
I nod. It was something offered to us at our appointment today, and I want Allie to explore every avenue of pregnancy and birth before deciding which route is best for her.
“I really don’t want to think about a baby shower yet,” she continues, turning to show both of our mothers her small bump.
I look at the sonogram, studying the images once again, a rush of pride funneling through me. Fuck. It’s still unbelievable. For all the tension and heartache and unease floating in this room right now, my entire being settles at the sight of that budding baby.
It settles at the understanding that no matter how hurt I am by Allie at the moment, I am unconditionally in love with her.
There is no one else I’d rather navigate this with than her.
Nobody else I could bear to. I’ve long known she’s the only person in the world for me, and the image of our child only solidifies that.
I pull my eyes from the sonogram, lifting my head to find both my dad and Dom hovering over me, trying to catch a glimpse of it. I pass it over to them, watching the softest, most astonished smile overtake both of their faces—two pairs of brown eyes mystified with awe.