26. Archer
ARCHER
“I know the season didn’t end the way we hoped it would.
” My voice echoes off the concrete walls, eyes scanning each of my teammates where they huddle around the locker room, wiping sweat from their brows and still catching their breath.
“But that doesn’t mean it was worth nothing.
I think there is much to be learned from loss, and we only grow stronger when we’ve got something to work toward.
We can take away a lot from this season, but most of all I want each of you to know this… ”
I continue giving the carefully crafted speech I’ve been preparing in my head for much of the day. There was no chance we were going to make it to the playoffs, but I wanted to at least pull out a win for my guys in the final game of the season—thankfully, we did.
Though it doesn’t change the solemn atmosphere in the locker room post-game. I knew I’d need to address the team before we part ways, especially the guys like me, who are finishing their final college season.
After speaking to the team as a whole, I take my time pulling aside each of the guys to thank them for their effort and hard work. Most of them congratulate me on the baby and wish me luck in the future.
It’s odd—being seen so differently now. A completely new energy blanketed me when I returned to Texas three weeks ago.
I owed the team an explanation for my abrupt break over Thanksgiving, as I missed a practice and two training sessions, so when I came back I was honest. I told them I found out I was having a baby with my best friend, and I needed to fly back to California and see her after she had a medical emergency.
I told them I’d be relocating to California permanently following the season, but that I came back to finish what I’d started with all of them.
I don’t think anyone would have ever associated me with the word father, including myself, but after finding out about Allie’s pregnancy, a shift happened. Both inside of me and externally.
If my team had treated me like a leader before, it’s increased tenfold now.
They also began calling me daddy.
“You did good, Papa,” Colton says, slapping me on the shoulder. We’re the last two to leave the stadium. “Your fatherly instincts are already starting to show.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I laugh.
“I’m serious.” He nudges my shoulder as we make the walk back to our apartment. “I was shocked at first. Scared shitless for you, honestly. But now that I’ve settled with it, I think it makes perfect sense. You’re gonna be a good dad.”
“Thanks, Hudson.” I nudge him back.
“And I think you need to go easy on Allie. I think… I think she did you a favor. And I think I would’ve done the same had you been the one knocking me up.”
A pregnant Colton Hudson flashes through my mind, and I wince at the visual.
Typically, I would never allow anyone to see my frustration toward Allie. I’m too protective of her—of us. No matter how complicated our relationship seems to be. The outside world will never know anything but my adoration and unbridled loyalty to her.
But that night, when Zander called me, I was at the gym with Colton.
I lost my mind. I broke down in tears, threw my phone across the room.
I was gutted.
I was sick over the thought of her in the hospital. I couldn’t fathom why she would go so long without telling me. I deserved to know about the pregnancy, the existence of my child. I should’ve been there with her.
The only reason I could consider for why she’d keep it from me was that the baby must not be mine at all, and those thoughts dragged me even deeper. I was blinded by the anguish of it all.
He helped me get out of there, took me home, and let me scream.
He promised me that nothing said in that moment would alter the way he felt toward Allie or toward me.
He’d hold no judgment toward either of us later, but he was there to hear me out.
I expressed how angry and betrayed I felt by her—how terrified I was about it all.
He booked my flight, packed my bags, and told me to go see her immediately. He hugged me when he dropped me at the airport, said he’d talk to our coach and the team, and that it would all work out in the end.
I’m not sure another person in my life has ever seen me so distraught—not my parents or my siblings, not even Allie. At least, until I collapsed on her apartment floor the moment I witnessed the budding of her stomach.
I want to be humiliated by the outburst, that I’d allowed a teammate to see me that way, but Colton refuses to allow me to be embarrassed about it. He reminds me so much of my brother that way. Playful and, well…obnoxious. Yet thoughtful and compassionate and loyal beneath the surface.
A steady force, a rock to lean against.
“Imagine she had told you that night she came here, Archer,” he says, tone serious now.
“Imagine you'd left right away and then changed your mind weeks later. Your future would’ve been demolished. The team wouldn’t have had you back.
You’d never have finished out your last season, and you wouldn’t be up for the draft right now. ”
As we reach our apartment building, I stop in front of the doors, studying Colton as he scans his key to get us in, continuing, “By keeping it from you, she single-handedly preserved your lifelong dream—at the expense to herself, I’m sure.
” He clicks our floor on the elevator, whipping to me as the doors close.
“I mean…can you imagine? Watching your body change like that, and having to keep it to yourself? Slowly realizing your entire life is going to be different, and have nobody to share it with? I know she wouldn’t choose to go through that crazy shit alone.
She did that because she loves you, man.
And now…you’ve shown the team, the coaches—the scouts—what a team player you are.
A leader. How determined and strong you can be for this sport.
I know it wasn’t ideal, I know it was stressful, and I know it hurt, but Allie earned you endless respect in this league, even if she didn’t go about it in the most ideal way. ”
Of course I’ve thought about the impact keeping this had on Allie, how much pressure and pain it likely caused her. I feel guilty as hell that she put herself in that position for my sake, and maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve been so angry about it.
“I just wish she would’ve given me the opportunity to make that choice for myself.
” I sigh, running a hand through my hair.
“I think… I think you’re right,” I admit as we step off the elevator.
“I’m glad I came back. I know it was the best decision, but I think that…
eventually, I would’ve come to that decision on my own.
I didn’t need Allie to make it for me, while keeping me in the dark about the most important thing on the fucking planet. ”
We step inside our apartment, and Colton throws his bag down at his feet, shaking his head.
“Nope. Nope.” He faces me, hands on his hips, shaggy hair falling into his eyes.
“You’re the most levelheaded person I know.
Except when it comes to her. In the four years I’ve known you, nothing tips your axis like that girl.
You would’ve thrown everything away for her and that baby without a second thought, and you wouldn’t have heard anyone out about it.
She’s the only person who can talk you down about this shit, and you would’ve ruined everything before she had the chance. ”
I frown, but he only shrugs, as if to say I’m not wrong.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, abruptly cutting off our conversation, and any argument I may attempt to make. When I pull it out, my sister’s name flashes across the screen.
“Hey, Lou,” I say.
“Hey,” she chimes. “This is a work call, by the way.”
“Right. Of course.” A smile ticks at my lips. “Because my big sister would never call just to say hello.”
“Too busy for that,” she responds, not missing a beat. “So, I found a great trainer in San Diego. He has experience working with the major league. He has a cohort of draftees that are training with his team in the off-season leading up to the draft, and you’ve been offered a spot.”
“That’s great,” I say.
One of the first things Lou began working on as my official agent was finding me a trainer for the period between the end of the college season and the major league combine—when I’ll showcase my skills by practicing with professional teams and other draftees from all over the country.
She’s also been negotiating scout visits with teams in the league, and her agency is coordinating the scheduling and travel for those, which will start in January.
I planned to train with my college coach and a few of his connections because I had planned to remain in Texas through the end of the school year to finish out my degree.
After learning Allie is pregnant, I decided I’d leave college and return to California after the season.
I can finish out online at a later time, but the one thing I am leaving behind in Texas is my coach and trainer.
I’m hopeful at the prospect Lou has found me someone else though. Closer to home, closer to Allie.
“I’ll send over the information and the list of other players in the cohort so you can take a look. The first training session is January second,” my sister says, her tone all business, as if I’m just another client. “Oh, and your first team visit is in Buffalo. You leave January tenth.”
I bristle at the thought of being drafted so far away from California.
That aspect of the future is completely out of my hands, though.
So long as my visits go well, and I don’t get injured in the offseason, I’m likely to be a top pick in the next draft, and it’ll all depend on which team chooses me first. I could end up anywhere in the country, and I have no fucking clue what that’s going to mean for Allie and me—for our baby and our family.
It’s something I think both of us are stuffing deep down inside ourselves, ignoring until we can’t anymore.
“Thanks, Lou.” I hesitate, because I know she’s in work mode, but I still need her to be my sister right now too, so I ask, “Am… Am I doing the right thing? The draft?”
The other side of the line becomes silent, not even the sound of her shuffling around her office. Like she’s pausing to take in what I’ve said. “What do you mean?” she finally asks.
“I mean…uprooting my entire life just months after my baby is born. I could end up on any team. Anywhere in the country.”
She lets out a long sigh. “I know it’s scary, and I know it feels unnatural.
At the end of the day, only you can decide what the right choice is, and we’ll love you through whatever you do.
But… Years ago, Liv did something similar.
She made a choice that felt a lot like yours does, and it was the best thing for everyone. For her and her family. The kids.”
I chew my lip, contemplating. There is so much to unpack, and I don’t know why I’ve suddenly decided I want to do so in this moment. I push it down. “Okay. Thanks. That helps.” I rub a hand over my jaw. “See you in a few weeks. Love you.”
“Love you, Arch!” she calls before the line goes dead.
A second later, I receive an email notification with the list of players she promised me, and as I scroll through the names, my eyes snag on one in particular.
I bark a laugh, lifting my head to where Hudson stands at the stove, drizzling olive oil into a skillet. “You’re joining my training cohort in San Diego?”
“Fuck yeah, dude,” he says, not bothering to turn around. “I’m on godfather duty now.”
I snort. “If you want to join that war, I won’t stop you, but you should know that Willow, Zander, and my sister are already fighting about it, and I’m telling you all now, my sister is the only person qualified to be the godmother of my child.”
He spins around, frowning. “What makes her so qualified?”
“She’s thirty-three.” I deadpan. “Fully developed frontal lobe.” I tap the center of my forehead. “She’s more qualified to raise this kid than I am, that’s for sure.”
“Well…” he drawls. “I’m a scrapper. I’ll still fight.”
I shake my head with a laugh. “All right, man. It’s your funeral.” Turning toward the hallway to my bedroom, I say, “I’m gonna shower, but…I’m glad you’re coming with me. Thank you.”
Colton’s head snaps up from the stove, his playful smirk laced with genuine affection. “Me too.”