Heat
Sienna
Breathe…
The pain eases a little, but even if the pain is tolerable, I feel extremely horny, and all I can think of is Jayce: the way he feels pressed against me, the memory of his lips against my skin, the way he played with my breasts, the way he fucked me.
I kick off my sheets that are tangled around my ankles and slide my panties down, slipping my fingers between my pussy.
My eyes flutter shut as pleasure jolts through me, but it isn’t enough.
I roll onto my side and, opening my bottom drawer, take out my rose and switch it on, bringing it to my clit, the low hum doing nothing to drown out my pounding heart.
I adjust the speed, allowing pleasure to jolt through me as I imagine it’s Jayce playing with me. My Jayce, his black hair falling in his eyes, his gorgeous green eyes filled with desire as he leans over me and slips his tongue into my mouth. The way he tastes…
I moan, my back arching as another wave of pain and pleasure rushes through me.
I bite my lip, tasting blood as I feel my body tense, my senses heightening. I gasp as my core throbs, and I picture Jayce ramming into me, sweat trickling down his perfect body as he rolls those hips, his abs flexing oh so- fuck!
Pleasure tears through me as my orgasm explodes inside of me, sending wave after wave of pure bliss through me.
My eyes sting with white-hot needles, but I don’t stop, riding out my high, a soft, breathless whimper escaping me. I drop onto my back; the small moment of reprieve won’t last long, but… I’ve been in heat for a week… It should be over soon, right?
I drag myself out of bed, needing a soak in an icy bath. The ice is already in the water, a spell keeping the temperature low. I strip out of my cami as it’s all I was left wearing, and climb into the tub, resting my back against the side.
I take a deep breath, the cold biting into me. Now that the heat has eased up for a bit, my mind wanders to the offer Jayce had made. An offer I have been tempted to take him up on so many times, but my pride simply won’t allow me to.
It was the first time Jayce and I actually had a proper conversation after my return from the Gods’ Realm. The few times I tried to talk to him before, he had brushed me off.
“Sienna.” I freeze as I turn, looking down the Academy hallway. My heart is pounding as none other than Jayce stands there, his eyes cold, his face as emotionless and hostile as it was back before we got together.
“Yes?” I ask, hating that my voice sounds so soft and vulnerable even.
“A word,” he says coldly, before turning and testing two doors; the second one opens, and he steps inside.
I step into the small classroom and close the door behind me.
He’s by the window, arms crossed, looking out as if simply seeing me disgusts him.
It might, too. But I also know he still cares – some part of him, past the hatred, past the hurt.
“What is it?” I ask, breaking the silence.
His chiselled jaw ticks, that dimple appearing, as he turns his eyes on me. “I marked you, which means soon you’ll go into heat.”
My cheeks heat up.
I know.
I nod. “Yeah, I know…” Why is he bringing this up?
“I marked you, and don’t get the wrong idea, but…” His brows knit together, and I can sense the rage in him. “If you want us to… mate to avoid it… We can.”
My eyes widen slightly, and I don’t know why, but I feel insulted. I scoff slightly and cross my arms. “Really? So, you’ll fuck me out of pity? Or is it your sense of responsibility, Jayce?” I ask, hurt and frustrated.
His expression doesn’t change as he simply pushes away from the wall and saunters over to me. And even with the way his words made me feel, my heart still betrays me.
“At least you know it’s not a want,” he answers, his harsh words mocking me.
I look away, feeling humiliated. Shaking my head slowly, I glance back at him. “I don’t need your pity aid; I’ll manage my heat without your help. Thanks for the offer,” I say, unable to stop the sarcasm from dripping into my tone.
“I offered; the rest is your choice,” he says huskily.
“Yes. It is,” I answer defiantly.
Our eyes lock; there’s so much I want to say, but what can I say after I destroyed him? The walls he’s built… It’s my fault; these are the repercussions of my actions.
He doesn’t say anything more as he brushes past me, opens the door, and leaves, shutting it behind him. I close my eyes, bracing my hand on the nearest table and exhale.
Sorry, Jayce, as much as I want to be in your arms, want you to claim me, I don’t want you to do it out of duty or pity. I want you to do it because you want me – for me.
I take a deep breath, the ache in my chest at the memory growing as I sink beneath the surface of the icy water.
How are you doing, Jayce?
He’s been gone for five weeks now, and I miss him.
So, so much… I’m worried about him, too.
He lost his Mama… The pain he felt… What I witnessed that day, I’ll never forget it.
The way he wanted to go to her, but at the same time, he was forced to stay to protect his people; the way he held his ground so his brothers and father could go to her.
That day, he hadn’t rejected my embrace; even if he didn’t reciprocate it, he didn’t push me away, proof of just how much pain he was in.
I break the surface of the water, staring at the blocks of ice in it as I pull my knees to my chest and rest my chin on top of them.
Jayce…
You’re angry at me, and you have every right to be, but I’m not giving up on us.
Call me selfish, call me stupid, I don’t care.
I’m going to fight for you, fight for us, because I’m not the same Sienna who broke you, but the one who understands the gravity of what she did, the one who has learned to stand strong on her own.
That’s my vow, and I’m a Rossi; we’re stubborn like that.
The bell rings, signalling the end of another gruelling session on the obstacle field. Jaddati has only made things harder, and each day is a challenge for everyone. No one comes out unscathed.
“That was pretty neat,” Allie says as she walks over to me. I nod.
“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” I agree with a small smile as I rein my powers in.
I see Heaven on the far side of the field; she’s just finishing off, spinning in the air before she lands with the grace of a dancer.
Theo left the day of the battle; it was devastating for his family and for her. Even if she denies it, even if she tries to remain emotionless about the topic, I know she misses him every single day, though she doesn’t show it. But I know her.
She prepares those vials to help him sleep, quietly stocking them up. They take a painstakingly slow process to create, and yet every day she’s working on them on the side. She doesn’t talk about them, but I know what they are.
Aunty Raihana is still training us all, and Allie has improved, although we quickly realised attack spells are best for her rather than other spells.
She can wrap her lycan claws in spells to paralyse or poison the enemy, and she can cast an illusion to mask herself for a few moments.
It’s small things that give her an extra edge.
Heaven walks towards us, her hair bouncing with every step until she stops a metre away. “Shower and then poisons?”
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, my body aching. We volunteered to help with poisons; there are a few concoctions in our book that Heaven wasn’t keen on sharing with anyone, and so we ended up being the ones to prepare them.
They work well on wraiths, and that has helped in many battles.
“Poisons it is,” Allie says flatly. “I’d rather administer the poison than make it, though.”
“I’m sure you would,” I say, with a wry smile. “Meet you outside the greenhouses in twenty minutes.”
They both nod before we go our separate ways.
Fifteen minutes later, I am on my way to the greenhouses when my Schattensicht vibrates against my wrist, the sensation so specific that my chest tightens before I even look down, knowing exactly what it means.
My pulse accelerates all the same as I lift my arm, recognising exactly what that pattern of vibration means: there’s been an attack.
I open the report as I walk, my steps never faltering as my eyes skim the details, my mind already rearranging itself around the information. Down south, not far from the Shadow Wolves Pack. Another alert follows almost immediately, calling my division to mobilisation.
Quickly, I send a message to Heaven and Allie.
SIENNA: Can’t make it. Division 9 is called out on a mission.
ALLIE: Don’t die on us.
A faint smile ghosts across my mouth, brief and humourless, the kind I’ve used more often as of late.
HEAVEN: Be careful, Sienna.
She used my full name, and for a fraction of a second, it slowed me down more than the attack report did.
SIENNA: I will.
What was meant to be just another evening has now changed into something far more serious. But at the Academy, that has become the norm.
I break into a jog, turning back towards my dorm. Once I enter my room, I gather my weapons as I would with any drill or mission. Ten minutes. That is all we are given between alert and heading out, and it’s enough.
I braid my hair as I hurry to our meet-up point, saving all my magic for the battlefield. My butterfly sigils are all loaded with power, but still, I have to be careful.
We are always ready. Things have changed; we lead many attacks and are prepared to counter many when needed, too. A division is called out at least twice a week, if not more. And we must be prepared for it at any moment and at any hour.
A lot of students joke lightly about it in the training halls and over meals, but the truth lingers beneath every laugh, an unspoken fear: who will be called next? Will they return alive or in a body bag?
Because we have lost fellow students, family, and friends, everyone knows someone who has died.
And this is the reality of war, even if everyone doesn’t want to openly admit it. It’s the truth. At any moment, on any mission, someone might not make it back, and none of us ever truly know when our turn will come or who will be next.