Dark Memories
Jayce
Iwatch her walk off, my jaw clenched. She fucking knows what she does to me, and she’s using it to play fucking dirty. It’s not like her; she’s behaving bolder…
Shaking my head, I take out a cigarette and light it, taking a long drag on it as I rest my head back against the wall of the mess hall and stare into the dark, foggy sky, closing my eyes as the night Mom was killed returns to me.
My entire body screams with anguish as I look at Mom’s body, trying to hold myself together as Dad holds Mom, his body racked with sobs, the pain in my brothers’ and sister’s eyes, the way Grandma tries to keep it together, but her heart is hammering, her hands shaking as tears stream down her cheeks.
The way Grandad wipes away his tears that keep falling as he hugs Katara tightly.
“Secure the pack border, get the injured to the infirmary, gather our dead.” I hear myself give the order.
“I… yes.” Dad looks up, his navy eyes full of pain as he scans his surroundings. I go down on one knee beside him, placing my hand on Mom’s head, my eyes blurring as I look at her.
My heart shatters as anger and pain also rise within me. Whoever did this will pay.
I’ll manage, Dad. Leave it to me, I say through the mind-link, looking at Mom through blurred eyes, struggling to look at him directly, knowing I’ll break if I do.
It fucking hurts. So fucking much.
Mom…
Jayce… Dad begins. I force myself to look at him and place my other hand on his shoulder.
I know what to do; you will always have me.
Don’t be afraid to lean on us, Dad. You need to stay with Mom and the others.
I’ll handle the pack, I say, forcing myself to look him dead in the eye, no matter how hard it is.
Those words somehow give me the strength I need.
I promised myself I would always be there for my parents because they were always there for me, and yet I failed her.
Dad nods, his eyes softening, and I give his shoulder a squeeze, touching my forehead to his for a moment, wishing I could take his pain away.
“Grandad, get everyone home; I will handle the pack,” I say, turning to Mom’s head that Dad’s cradling. I bend down and kiss her forehead.
She’s gone…
I brush my finger down her cheek. Whoever did this decapitated her. I look away, standing up, the pain crushing me.
“No, you go, too, Jayce,” Zack, Dad’s Beta, says. “I’ll manage.”
He looks haunted, too. I know he and Mom were close.
“We need all the help we can get,” I say as Uncle Damon comes into view, his eyes bloodshot as he stops in his tracks and stares at Mom’s body, as if not wanting to believe what happened.
He runs over, dropping to his knees beside Dad, his face the image of devastation as he curses under his breath.
The pain is fucking ripping me apart, but I’ve got to be strong.
I turn and walk away from my family and the pain consuming me into the aftermath of the battlefield to deal with the destruction left behind.
The day is a blur, my emotions wanting to come out, but it’s my duty to stay strong. Right now, Dad is hurting the most, and with five sons, he shouldn’t have to worry about his duty as the Alpha.
I work on autopilot, giving orders. Even when Leo approaches, asking me to take a break, I decline. Ahren comes later, telling me to go home, but I refuse. And now Dante.
“Take a break, Jayce,” he says softly, his red eyes glimmering in the glow of the setting sun.
“Did you know it would be today?” I ask, distraught.
He shakes his head. “I only see images of what’s to come, and often I cannot make sense of them. I didn’t know… or I would have tried to prevent it.”
Trying to prevent it as it is happening is different, but going back in time or trying to change something that has occurred – that is when things can go wrong, as Dante had warned me. It’s something we can’t do, no matter how unfair that sounds right now.
“Ask Ahren to find out who did it. We can at least do that, right?” I ask, sounding harsh, my heart aching.
“Already did, just like with Ares’ attack, he wasn’t able to see anything. Something was blocking him,” Dante replies, his eyebrows knitted in a deep frown.
I growl lowly, anger bubbling inside of me. “Fuck!”
“We’ll get to the bottom of this. I personally will be on it; whoever did this won’t go unpunished,” he promises, his eyes hardening.
I nod. “Yeah.” But it won’t bring Mom back.
Turning, I walk away, not wanting to spend another minute in anyone’s company. We failed Mom…
Only when I’m completely alone do I allow myself to drop to the ground, raising my knees; I lean back and stare at the waning sun.
“I want to spend time with you; you’re going so far away. And Goddess knows how long it will be before I get to see you again. No, you have to spend some time at home before you leave…”
I close my eyes, my heart heavy with pain; who knew that she would be the one to leave me?
I rest my arms on my knees, hanging my head as tears silently fall to the ground. I don’t sense her, not until her arms are around me from behind.
I stiffen as familiar sparks dance through me.
“Please don’t say anything. When I walk away, I will pretend this never happened… Just let me hold you…” Sienna’s soft voice whispers in my ear.
I don’t say anything; her closeness brings me comfort that I’ll never voice. I grip my right wrist with my left hand, trying to stop my body from shaking. The heat of her body, the warmth of her touch, it does help. And I fucking hate it.
Once again, she’s seen me at my lowest, when I’m feeling the most vulnerable…
Can she sense my pain, or is she feeling it?
Her tears that soak my back – are they her pain or mine?
I try, try to fucking get myself together, but it’s impossible. Only when the mask of night falls over the woods do I reach up for her arms, and for a moment I wonder what would happen if I just let it be.
Life’s short…
But I don’t want to be broken, not again, not when there is so much responsibility on my shoulders. I remove her arms from around my shoulders and stand, refusing to look back at her as I walk away. She doesn’t say anything, and neither do I.
Maybe I should thank her, but although this time she may have stopped me from breaking, she also has the power to destroy me, and I refuse to give that to her again. It’s best for both of us.
“I don’t think this is the kind of weather to stay out in,” Ahren’s voice comes. I glance towards him, but don’t respond. “How are you, Jayce?”
“As you can tell,” I remark.
“I guess when your heart turned to ice, the weather can’t affect it.”
If he’s trying to get a rise out of me, it won’t work.
“Lucky for me then, init,” I reply sharply.
He chuckles. “You’re angry we’re here.”
“No, I’m over the fucking moon,” I reply, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
Ahren smirks. “Well, glad to hear it,” he replies mockingly. “But we’re going to be here for a while; try not making it harder for yourself.”
I frown at him. “I’m not taking advice from you on this matter.” I push away from the wall and head towards the barracks.
I near my room, her scent lingers in the hall, and when I enter my room, it’s even stronger, which only pisses me off more. As I get ready for bed, I can hear her moving quietly around her room.
This is fucking ridiculous.
I lock the door, switch off the light and take off my boots before sitting down on my bed, staring at the wall beside my bed. If I focus, I can hear her soft breathing or the occasional tut.
She’s unpacking from the sound of it.
I lie down, putting my arm behind my head as I stare at the ceiling, the tiny cracks in the wall allowing light to seep in, and now there’s just a thin wall to separate us.
Fucking great.
“Ready, Deimos King?” Mikhail asks as he stands there, the blizzard so loud I can barely hear him. I nod grimly. Sienna will be trying to raise barriers around our outposts today, if she’s able. There’s a squad of twelve ready to accompany her, and I’m here along with Mikhail.
“Ready,” I respond grimly, pulling on a pair of gloves.
We’re going to start by creating a barrier close to the dome, to see how long it’ll hold.
Sienna herself said her demon magic works differently, so let’s see.
In a way – not that I’d say that out loud – not that I’d say that out loud, but if her barriers hold, they may expect her to remain here permanently.
I wonder: can demon magic be infused into charms the way regular magic can? And thinking with that theory, is there a way to put a barrier inside a charm?
Something to consider. This isn’t a place she can stay. If we manage to eradicate the threat of the Indomitable from here, it would make it easier for us. Right now, thanks to the vampires, we have a stronger footing.
As far as we know, none of the full-blooded vampires is on the Indomitable’s side; they cannot disobey the vampire who sired them, and right now, all of the elite vampires are in the royal family.
So as long as they remain in unity, the hybrids are the only ones who aren’t fully under their control.
Mikhail is sure that if he faced Velasara, he would be able to deter her somewhat since she’s confirmed to be a vampire-witch hybrid.
Everyone is here, but Sienna herself, and I glance at my watch. “She’s late,” I say, looking at Mikhail.
He cocks a brow. “I see she is the one,” he says, making me narrow my eyes.
“Let’s stick to the topic at hand,” I reply coldly.
“Of course, and here she is.” I turn to see where he’s looking and see Sienna step out in a floor-length light grey and white coat, with a matching hat, the pale colours only making her dark red hair stand out.
Mikhail pats my shoulder as he leans in, baring those sharp teeth. “If I were you, Deimos King, I’d stake my claim or you might regret it,” he murmurs quietly.
I simply glare at him as Sienna walks towards us, and I glance around.
“Where’s Ahren?” I ask no one in particular.
“He will be attending to other matters,” Sienna replies, looking my way.