In the Darkness
Sienna
It calls to me; the pulsing that thrums through the very earth makes my heart hammer as I walk towards the egg. It’s alive, and it invites me.
Wait, I shouldn’t be here, though. These drakaths – what are they waiting for?
I hesitate.
Come.
No, this isn’t right… I should-
Sienna.
Jayce’s voice rings through my mind.
Warmth washes through me, and my eyes fly open as I suck in a breath, my heart racing as I half-sit up, looking around, trying to comprehend where I am.
That dream again… Even in England, it’s happening.
I brush my hair back and exhale slowly. I shouldn’t be so surprised.
I was dreaming of the crawlers from England even when they were all the way over in Puerto Rico.
I kick off the blanket. Even though the sheets are washed, with the scent of peonies and lilies coming off them, I can still smell Renji’s faint scent, and it’s odd.
It feels almost… wrong for me to be here.
I shiver as my mind returns to the dream. What if I go to Jayce and ask if I can sit next to him? I just know that I must not touch that egg.
Sighing, I rub my arms. Once again, I need him, but this will benefit us both, what with his hallucinations.
Deciding not to overthink it, I get up and walk over to the door, opening it quietly before I peer out. I then step out silently and close the door. I pad down the hallway towards Jayce’s room, pausing before I raise my hand to knock; I don’t want to disturb anyone else.
Jayce? I call through the mind-link. The wall he used to always keep up isn’t there. I smile softly, calling him again. Jayce? Can you hear me?
I try the door handle, and it opens. I open it just enough to slip inside before shutting it behind me and look at Jayce, who is fast asleep, his heart thumping loudly, his eyebrows furrowed.
Gods, Grandma Red was even asking if it was safe for him to be sleeping without anyone observing him, but he had said he would be fine. This man, I swear. I walk over to the bed and sit down on the edge, placing my hand on his bare chest.
His hand shoots out, wrapping tightly around my wrist.
“Jayce?” I whisper, brushing his hair off his forehead.
His eyes flutter open, and he looks around, his eyes blazing blue.
“It’s just me,” I murmur, letting my aura unfurl around the room before I cocoon it around us. “Just me.”
He seems to understand what I’m saying, looking around as if taking in his surroundings. “What are you doing here?” he asks.
“I dreamt of the dome again… Can I stay here?” I ask, my heart hammering as I ready myself for the possible rejection. He seems to let what I said sink in before he looks down at the bed, releasing my wrist before moving over.
“Fine, the last thing we need is you touching that egg.”
I smile and nod before he turns his back to me, but in the process, he’s freed up half the bed for me. I slowly get in; the spot is warm from where he had just been lying, and I smile as I snuggle into the duvet, his scent enveloping me.
This is home.
I stare at the plains of his back; his shoulders are stiff. He’s awake and tense, but I can’t help but smile as I reach over, placing my hand against his back. I have hope in us, hope that we’ll fix things.
“Go to sleep,” his rough voice comes.
My smile simply grows. “I will… Jayce, can I ask a question?” I ask softly.
“That is one.”
I roll my eyes. “Another.”
“Pillow talk really wasn’t in the offer. What is it?” he asks curtly.
I know…
“If we can’t find another solution…” My voice comes out softer than I mean it to. “Would you consider letting me mark you?”
The air between us grows heavy, the tension rising.
“I know it would complicate things,” I continue quietly as I stare at his back. “You already gave up your chance to mark anyone else when you marked me to bring me home.”
Even saying it makes something sharp twist in my chest. The thought of him marking someone else hurts so much.
It’s wrong; I shouldn’t feel like this. I don’t have the right to feel like this, not after how I hurt him.
And yet, that hurt and jealousy eat away at me.
I want him, and I know if he ever chose someone else, it would kill me.
He rolls onto his back before slowly turning fully to face me. His thigh brushes mine beneath the duvet, the contact sending tingles through me as he places his arm under his head and observes me.
“Since when…” he begins lazily, arching a brow arrogantly, “Do you care about whether I mark someone else? I didn’t realise my future prospects concerned you.”
His voice is calm but almost mocking.
I look into his eyes, which are now a bright blue.
“Call me selfish, but I don’t want you to find someone else,” I admit quietly, my throat tightening around the words.
“I love you. And I know I destroyed your trust. I betrayed you; I left you when you begged me not to. I know that.” My heart aches, but I don’t look away from him.
“But I also know that you marked me out of responsibility, not because you truly wanted to.”
“I recall making that very clear,” he replies callously, his words edged with frost.
I nod, a strand of my hair falling in front of my eyes. “And although you’re the only person I would ever mark, I would rather it happen because we both want it, not because we’re forced to. Not like this; that isn’t fair to either of us.”
He doesn’t answer straight away. He just watches me, his expression unreadable as he looks at me.
“And yet, here we are, somehow forced to be in one another’s proximity for one reason or another,” he murmurs, sighing heavily.
As he moves slightly, his foot brushes against mine, and he stiffens ever so slightly for a fraction of a second before he casually tries to brush it off as he crosses his ankles beneath the duvet, putting distance between us again.
“Some could take that as a sign,” I say with a faint smile.
“Not every sign is a fucking good one,” he replies, though his eyes drop briefly to my mouth before returning to look me in the eye. I have my glamour up, but with him, I wish I didn’t have to.
“Yeah, I know,” I say softly. “Then should we try to get along until you’re better and figure out whatever these visions are and mean?”
A faint mocking smirk curves his lips.
“No.”
“Why not? Don’t you trust yourself?” I ask, frowning slightly.
His gaze darkens, slow and heated as it travels over me in a way that feels far too intimate considering the small space between us.
“My control isn’t what’s in question,” he says quietly. “You have quite the temper now.”
The way he looks at me makes my stomach tighten, makes my body react in ways I wish it wouldn’t. There’s restraint in him, but there’s also memory, hunger, and something else.
“Well,” I say, forcing steadiness into my tone. “Can you blame me for losing patience when you’re this insufferably arrogant?”
He scoffs. “Arrogant isn’t the word I’d choose, but whatever helps you sleep.”
His arm brushes my shoulder as he turns onto his back, the feel of his touch lingering.
“As you wish,” I murmur. “The tome that mentioned the drakaths – can we view it tomorrow?” I desperately need to change the conversation.
“I already told Leo to have the tome brought to me,” he answers.
“Oh, excellent, I guess you’re doing better than I thought if you remembered to ask.”
He cocks a brow. “As I said, I’m fine.”
My gaze dips to those plump lips, and I lick my own that suddenly feel dry.
You sure are…
His attention flickers to my lips before he looks at me, and then he turns his face away, a deep frown furrowing his brow.
I guess that’s enough for tonight. I turn onto my side, my back to him. “Goodnight.”
For a moment, there’s only silence and the steady sound of our breathing.
Then the mattress dips and warmth settles behind me, not pressing fully against me but close enough that I can feel the heat of his body through the layers of clothes between us.
His hand comes to rest near the small of my back.
Not touching, yet close enough that I know if either of us moves even slightly, the distance will disappear.
He doesn’t pull me closer, but he doesn’t move away either.
And in this fragile space between restraint and surrender, neither of us sleeps.
My eyes fly open, and I feel a delicious jolt of pleasure rush through me, realising Jayce has his arm around me, his hand slipping under my shirt.
I bite my lip, trying my best not to press myself into him, although I can feel the heat of his body against my back. For someone who doesn’t want me, he sure seems to like to hold me.
I smile softly, but these moments give me strength and hope, and if I want them to continue, I’d better not push it. I stay still, resisting the urge to remove his hand. His fingers caress my stomach, and my core clenches.
Gods, Jayce…
If only he knew what he does to me. I have to move before he refuses to let this happen ever again. I slowly lift his hand from my waist. He lets out a little groan, but I manage to slide out of the bed and onto the floor, turning slowly to see he’s still asleep.
I smile slightly before I stand up and tiptoe to the door. I cast one last look at the god on the bed, admiring his chiselled jaw, his pecs and those bulging biceps.
My throat feels dry, and I exhale slowly before pulling the door open and stepping out, only to almost knock into Azura, who is standing there with a victorious smirk on her face.
“So, you guys might not need as much help as I thought.”
“Shh,” I put a finger to my lips.
“Why are you sneaking away, though?” she asks suspiciously.
I sigh. “Well, I don’t want him to think our arrangement is a mistake.”
“Arrangement? You mean-”
“No!” I hiss, blushing. “His hallucinations, and what we mentioned about my dreams? Well, he kind of tethers me.”
“Right, so you both pretty much need one another despite everything, whilst waiting for one another, but just unable to get past the blips to the point of being able to be together? Is that right?”
I blink. “I have no idea what you just said. Bye, Azura, I need to go get dressed.”
Her laugh follows me down the hall until I enter Renji’s room and shut the door. I hide a squeal of excitement, clamping my hands over my mouth, my heart thumping. I sniff my hoodie; it smells of him. I hug myself, my heart leaping; just being near him lifts my mood.
Jayce, gods, I love you.
It’s a while later, and we’re in the lounge; Jayce is reading the tome on immortals, whilst I try not to ask any questions, although it’s hard not to.
Leo now looks between us. “Until things are figured out, you will both remain together. I guess the prayers of those around you have been fucking answered.”
Jayce simply looks up at him for a second before returning to his book. I don’t argue either; we both know why it’s necessary. Only once my heat hits, then I’m screwed.
“So does that mean I’m staying here?” I ask.
“Yes, your mama is already sending you a bunch of clothes. It’s perfectly fitting,” Azura remarks as she wraps her arms around Leo’s shoulder, kissing his neck. He runs his hand down her arm, his eyes still as icy as ever.
“Sounds good,” I say. “Can I get a phone? I’d like to be able to talk to the girls. In all the chaos, I forgot mine in Russia.”
“Ahren’s arranged that for you, and while you’re at it, make sure you write up a full report of what happened in that dome. Another dream occurred last night?”
“I’ll do that. We need to figure this thing out, don’t we? And yes, it did.” I nod.
“That’s why you went to Jayce’s room,” Azura remarks. I frown slightly as Jayce ignores her. Well, he’s ignoring us all.
“Yes, unless you want to spend the rest of your life with Jayce,” Azura says. Leo looks at her pointedly.
“What she means is, if you want those dreams to stop, and if you-” He looks at Jayce. “Want to get rid of those hallucinations that are taking a toll on you, regardless of how focused your mind is, ideally, let her mark you and get it over with.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Jayce says in a clipped tone, but his eyes remain fixed on the book in his hand.
“Well, we’re leaving now. I hope the next time we talk there’s a positive update, because we fucking need it,” Leo says as he stands and fixes his jacket.
I nod, but my spirits are dampened. He’s right; we need to fix everything before time runs out. And staying here at the Blood Moon Pack?
Now, that wasn’t on my list of things to do, but I’m looking forward to it.
Who wouldn’t?