The Pain of Losing Someone
Sienna
Ahren hasn’t got back to us yet, although it’s been a while, but he will at some point. He’s also meant to be dropping off clothes and stuff for me. We ended up spending a lot of time reading, and I’ve only stopped now to get the lasagne in the oven and begin peeling the potatoes for chips.
I put on some music in the kitchen and get to work. I find most of the things I need pretty easily. Jayce is still in the lounge, and I keep my ear there, just in case his heart rate spikes.
I’m worried about him. There were times in there that I knew he was struggling to read…
Sighing, I turn the cooker on, placing the chip pan onto it and filling it with the oil.
Leaving that to heat, I begin slicing the potatoes into chunky chips.
I’m almost done when the front door opens, and Katara walks in.
I see her walk past the kitchen when she pauses, as if just realising I’m there.
“Sienna?” she asks, confused.
“Hey,” I say as I walk over to give her a hug, noticing she’s dressed so differently from what she wore months ago.
She’s wearing makeup, too. Dark eyes and dark lipstick as well, in a way similar to what Aunty Raven used to do.
She must be missing her. My heart squeezes as I hug her, and she gives me a tight hug back.
“Hi, I didn’t know you were here,” she says.
“Yeah, it was a little sudden.” My smile falters when I catch the strong scent of alcohol on her. It isn’t uncommon for shifter kids to drink before they turn eighteen due to the lack of effect it has on them; however, it is usually at parties or events.
“You would have known if you had your phone switched on,” Jayce says coolly from the doorway.
Katara pulls away and turns, startled, her heart racing, and I don’t miss the way her fingers go to the hem of her tiny skirt as she attempts to pull it down, although it’s kind of impossible. It’s incredibly short.
Jayce’s eyes glimmer blue, his brows knitting into a deep frown as he looks her over, and I can sense his irritation, the air rippling with his aura.
“What are you wearing?” he asks quietly.
Katara hesitates, but I see the change before she even speaks, switching to the defensive instantly. “What’s it to you? I’m fifteen years old; I can wear whatever I want.”
“You’re not dressed suitably. Does Dad know what you’re wearing, and where the fuck were you? I can smell the alcohol reeking off you from here,” Jayce says icily.
My heart thuds as I watch the scene in slow motion, the situation escalating.
I’ve seen it before; the hurt, the pain, the lashing out…
I’m about to speak when Katara shakes her head, striding over to the door and about to brush past Jayce when he takes hold of her arm, disapproval written across his face as he looks down at her.
“I’m not done. Where were you all night?” he asks sharply.
“Like you care! You left, remember?!” she screams as she pulls free and storms down the hall. His eyes narrow as he turns, ready to go after her, when I run up to him, grabbing hold of his arm.
“Jayce!”
“What?” he asks, his eyes still blue as he glares at me. I shake my head.
“Give her space; she’s hurting and just needs patience…”
“I just want to talk to her.”
“I know, but not right now and not like that. You have to remember we all cope in different ways,” I remind him softly, yet firmly, as I block the kitchen doorway.
He’s about to argue when he clenches his jaw and turns away slightly.
“She’s only fifteen, and she’s dressed like a fucking-”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” I cut in quietly, my tone still gentle.
He looks at me, anger flashing in his eyes. “Why the fuck are you defending her?”
“I have and always will protect those around me if the need arises.”
“Yeah, I know that,” he answers almost bitterly. My heart clenches painfully at the irritation in his voice. “You’ve fucking changed.”
His words sting, but I don’t budge from my position in front of the kitchen door. “Maybe you just didn’t know me as well as you presumed.”
He opens his mouth; a flash of what might have been hurt flickers in his eyes, but it’s gone as fast as it came.
My heart constricts. Maybe if you did, you’d realise I had to go, or you would have had to pay the price.
“Maybe,” he says, before he places his hand on my shoulder and moves me aside with a gentleness that doesn’t match the rage in his eyes.
I hug myself, watching him return to the lounge before walking over to where the potatoes wait, peeling and cutting extra for Katara, too.
She’s an only daughter; it must be hard. I don’t have a sister, but I had Heaven and Allie, and sometimes you just need someone you can talk to. Someone your own age. The quints have one another.
Once the sliced chips are in the pan, I check on the lasagne and take out the salad and drinks from the fridge.
Leaving everything there, I head upstairs, finding Katara in her room. She’s freshly showered, and without her heavy makeup I can see the slight dark circles beneath her eyes. She’s sitting there, towelling her hair, her door open a crack, her eyes fixed on something on her desk.
I knock lightly, and she turns her chair towards me.
“Hey, I’ve made lunch, come join us in ten?” I ask, noticing she was looking at a picture of her mom.
“No, can I just grab my plate and eat upstairs if that’s ok?” she asks, all the hostility she had earlier towards Jayce gone from her voice.
“Of course, I’ll bring it up for you.” I turn to leave when she calls me.
“Sienna.”
“Hmm?” I say, turning back towards her.
She picks up the photo of her mom from the desk, clutching it tightly in her hand. She doesn’t speak for a moment, pressing her lips together in a tight line.
I wait, giving her the time she needs. “Did it- does it get easier? I know your dad’s back, but… You know how it felt to lose a parent… Heaven lost her dad. How long will it hurt?” she asks, her voice cracking, but she refuses to let her tears fall.
My heart breaks for her. I walk towards her, clutching my hands in front of me.
“It hurts for a long while, but we all deal with grief differently. It’s ok to let it out in whatever way works for you,” I say softly.
“Losing a loved one is never easy, but always remember that your family is also hurting, and it’s ok to talk to them.
Because they know how it feels, and they’re hurting, too. ”
She nods, and I stand there for a moment before I turn and leave the room, wishing there was more I could do for her. I make my way downstairs and check on the chips, waiting until they are golden before removing them from the oil.
After sprinkling salt over the lasagne, I retrieve it from the oven. I place it on top of the cooker and cut it into squares, plating a piece for Katara and adding some chips. I set the tray aside and grab some sauces for her, and hesitate when I look at the drinks.
“Orange juice; she doesn’t drink fizzy.”
I jump, startled, not realising that Jayce had entered. He’s leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, one foot resting on the frame, looking way too hot.
I can feel my cheeks burning up.
“You should be aware of your surroundings at all times,” he remarks. “And you’re standing way too close to the oil.”
I step away, moving my hair over my shoulder, only for it to tumble down my back again.
I glance around, momentarily blank. Oh yeah, orange juice!
He’s still watching me, and I suddenly feel very self-conscious as I walk over to the fridge and take out the orange juice carton.
I look around, trying to remember which drawer the glasses are in, when Jayce walks around the island and reaches for a drawer just above my head.
His scent fills my nose, and I resist the urge to inhale deeply.
He grabs three glasses, giving me a ‘you’re welcome’ look before placing them down.
“Thank you,” I say, with a mock sweet smile. His eyes dip to my lips for a lingering moment before he looks away, leaving my stomach feeling a giddy mess.
Just one look from him, and I lose myself. Gods.
Placing one of the glasses on the tray, I carry it upstairs to Katara, who’s applying some makeup now, not looking as vulnerable as she did earlier.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” I answer as I place the tray on her desk.
She offers a small smile, and I pause at the door on my way out. “If you ever need to talk, I’m just a text away; remember that.”
She nods, taking a chip. “Thanks, Sienna.” She looks at me. “I hope you and Jayce get together soon. I think this family needs you.”
I don’t know how to respond to that, and so I smile. “Thanks,” I whisper.
It is my duty to be here for his family… They are my family now, too.
Returning to the kitchen, I see Jayce has already carried the stuff over to the island, placing two plates down at the counter, side by side.
“What was she doing?” he asks, not looking up as he deftly opens both cans of fizzy at the same time.
Ok, show off.
“Why not go see for yourself?” I suggest as I bring the lasagne over; I place a trivet on the counter before putting it down.
“I’ll pass,” he says curtly.
I slide onto one of the barstools as Jayce takes the one beside it. It’s a start… There are six stools on this side. I hide my smile as I look over at him, raising my eyebrow.
He simply raises his own back before helping himself to some lasagne and chips. “Since you aren’t starting, I will. I’m fucking starved.”
And I’m starved for you.
I watch as he bites into a chip, like his sister, not bothering with a fork.
Gods, he’s gorgeous.
“You know…” I begin as I plate my food and pick up my fork.
“It’s ok not to be strong sometimes. It’s ok to let your family know you’re hurting.
Sometimes that’s what they need, so they don’t feel compelled to act strong either.
Everyone handles grief differently. And deny it as much as you want, but I know you’re hurting, just like she is, just like everyone else is. ”
I look at him earnestly, hoping he understands.
When he doesn’t respond, simply glancing at me for a moment, I break a bit of lasagne off and eat it.
“Trust me… I know. I think I needed that. To see that it’s ok to break. Everyone around me was coping so well; maybe they were just trying to be strong, but they were succeeding. I felt- at times I felt alone. And hated that I was the one who couldn’t cope,” I admit in a whisper.
I don’t look at him, not wanting him to put up a mask just in case he is letting emotion show.
He remains silent, and I don’t say anything else as we continue eating in silence, but it’s a comfortable silence.
Jayce’s phone rings, disrupting our peace, and when he takes it out, I spot that it’s from Ahren.
He answers and puts it on speaker.
“You’re on speaker,” Jayce says.
“Is it just the two of you there?” Ahren asks, his voice devoid of its usual playfulness.
“Yes,” I answer.
“Well, I actually did find something out, but it definitely wasn’t what I was expecting.”
I frown; he sounds almost… tense.
“Ahren, what is it?” I ask, my stomach twisting with unease.
“You said the creator of the drakaths was Set,” Ahren says. “Set also created the vampires. But there’s something most records have forgotten. Set was known by another name.”
Jayce glances at me before looking back at the phone. “A Greek name, I presume?” Jayce asks.
“Yeah,” Ahren replies.
Jayce frowns. “Who?”
“Typhon,” Ahren says. “The monster created to overthrow the gods. He hated Zeus. I don’t know when people started seeing him as a god instead of a monster, but they’re the same being.”
A quiet tension settles over the room before Ahren continues.
“And here’s the interesting part. Demons, unlike other species, aren’t creations of a god. Like Typhon, whom the Primordials created, demons were born from Nyx.”
“Primordials?” I ask. “You mean they’re real?”
“There was nothing about them in the tomes either,” Jayce adds, frowning deeply.
“No,” Ahren says. “Because this was a time before the gods and the species they created.”
Silence hangs between us for a moment before he continues.
“I don’t know why yet, but there’s a connection between Set, Zeus, Jayce and us demons. Something ties all of it together. I just don’t know what it is yet.”
Jayce leans back slightly, his jaw tightening.
“I’ll keep searching,” Ahren continues. “But until we figure out what it is, all of us need to be careful.”
I nod even though he can’t see me, my gaze fixed on the phone on the counter.
“Sienna.”
“Yes?” I answer quietly.
“What I told you before – I think that’s how the dome was created,” Ahren says in Arabic.
Meaning demons who are under the control of someone or something.
My stomach drops, my appetite disappearing instantly.
Which means there are beings out there who know demons can be controlled, and they’re already using them.