Desire
Sienna
Iknow what I begged for, and I don’t care, nor do I feel ashamed by it.
We both want one another, so what is wrong with this? I can hear his heart thunder, feel his turmoil at those words.
I can sense his wolf’s aura; he wants me just as much as I want him. Gods, I want him so badly.
Another spasm shoots through me, but with it, I come crashing down to reality.
I suck in a sharp breath, becoming aware of my surroundings, realising I’m in heat.
What was I thinking? I can’t guilt-trip him into anything unless he wants it.
“I have… injections,” I whimper, despite my best efforts to keep my voice steady.
God knows how much I don’t want them. I want him.
I bury my head in his neck, trying to control my instincts as my lips brush his neck, inhaling his scent, my core throbbing with desire, and I find myself kissing him there, sucking on the smooth skin.
The groan that escapes me makes my stomach tighten, desire burning deep through me.
He’s running fast as another wave of pain crashes through me.
Where is he taking me? I want to be alone with him.
Another jarring jolt of pain slams through me, and I whimper, my entire body spasming from the pain.
It’s so intense.
Each cycle, the pain has gotten stronger, quicker. I didn’t even have any warning signs aside from the small spasm earlier.
Gods help me. Give me the strength I need.
I close my eyes, trying to control myself and steady myself against the pain.
“She’s in heat. Did you prepare the bath?” Jayce’s breathless yet rough voice comes as he asks someone. His wolf has clearly surfaced.
I let down my walls, trying to reach out to his wolf.
He’ll want me.
Then I hear a woman. I can’t tell who it is as I cling to Jayce tightly.
I won’t let him go. I want him.
“Yes, take her up. I’ll bring more ice.”
“I can’t…” Jayce says through gritted teeth.
“You can. Go.” It’s Grandma Red, I realise.
I smile, hugging Jayce tighter.
“You’re all mine,” I murmur.
“Fuck,” Jayce mutters.
“I like the idea,” I whisper, running my tongue up his neck. The pain has subsided momentarily, but I’m so turned on; I need him inside of me. Can’t he smell how much I need him?
Another rough growl escapes Jayce, but he’s moving again.
I smile when I notice we’re close to his bedroom door, so I swing my legs down from where his arm is hooking them as he holds me, and instead of twisting lithely, I wrap them around his waist. A moan leaves me when I feel his hard cock against my ass.
“Oh fuck, Jayce,” I whisper hornily as I grip his jaw, his stubble feeling good against my fingertips, admiring how beautiful he is. Through the haze, I look into his dazzling blue eyes and smile seductively. Gone is my glamour, and I love how he’s reacting to me.
I bite my lip as another jolt rushes through me. All I need is for him to fuck me.
“If you’re pissed, you can hate fuck me?” I pout.
“You need to get in the bath,” he says tightly as he tries to unlatch me from around him, but I only tighten my hold.
“Make me,” I growl in frustration. I am not letting him go.
I’m being irrational; I know that, but…
“Sienna… you don’t want this,” he says quietly as I lean forward and he’s forced to stagger back against the wall. I smile; he’s weaker than usual; I guess that helps.
“I said I do,” I clarify with a pout.
“I asked you… And you said no.”
I say no to Jayce… I laugh, but it ends in a whimper when pain jars through me.
“I would never say no to you,” I whisper. For a moment, his eyes turn green, and in that moment, I come back to reality again.
What am I doing?
“I’m sorry,” I say as I quickly let go of him, almost falling to the floor, but his arm catches me around the waist, and he lifts me bridal style once more.
“Come on, let’s get you in the bath.”
I nod, unable to look at him, ashamed of myself. I’m making things harder for him again.
Stop being selfish, Sienna.
He carries me to the bathroom and places me on the edge of the tub that’s already filled with ice, and the cold tap is running at full blast. The bath is already half full. Now that I pay attention, my entire body is on fire.
I pull off the hoodie I’ve been wearing all day, leaving me in the sports bra, as Jayce kneels before me, and it takes me a moment to realise he’s removing my shoes.
I try to stop him, but he ignores me.
Through the hunger of how much I want to pull him close and kiss him, I know I’ve hurt him. In that very last moment when Jayce figured out that I was doing what I was doing because of Helios, a ray of hope had ignited within me. But then he threatened Jayce if I defied him.
I open my mouth, wanting to tell him because I just want him to forgive me.
He looks up at me, the concern in his eyes poorly masked, and I realise I can’t do it.
I can’t guilt-trip him into forgiving me.
“Grandma is looking for the injections and will bring them over immediately,” he says quietly as another agonising spasm rushes through me. How can a person feel so much pain and yet be so fucking turned on at the same time?
Realising I’m in pain, he rubs his hands up and down my arms, the sparks soothing the pain.
I nod as I stand up slowly and pull my sweatpants down. Jayce looks away, his nostrils flaring. This is hard for him, too. Jayce offers me a hand, helping me into the tub.
I welcome the wave of ice-cold water as I sink into it, hissing at the sharp contrast to how boiling-hot my body is.
“It won’t be long now,” he says softly, his eyes raking over me before they flick up to meet my gaze. “Just hold on until then, alright?”
“Sure…” I murmur as I pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as I sink fully into the tub, only my face remaining above water. Jayce nods as he stands, but it’s as if it’s a struggle for him.
I watch him intently as he backs away from me, his hands balled into fists. Another whimper leaves me, and I press my thighs together, wanting the incessant desire to be fulfilled.
I have to be strong until this blows over.
The question is, how long will it take this time?
“Hey, honey, has the injection helped?” I open my eyes and look at Grandma Red, who is sitting on the edge of the tub. “Do you need anything else?”
It’s a few hours later, and the pain is intensifying at a terrifying speed, far stronger than last time.
“It has. Where are the rest?” I ask.
“I’ve put them in the fridge for you, so they’re extra cool for the next shot tomorrow,” she explains comfortingly.
I whimper as I hug myself, agony tearing through me, and I shake my head. “I take…” Wait, I’m not supposed to be taking more than one. That makes me go quiet.
“Sienna?”
I shake my head as I look away.
I’ll get more later myself.
“Your mom is on the way,” she says softly, offering me a small smile.
“No, there’s nothing she can do; tell her not to come. I’m fine,” I say firmly.
“Are you certain?”
I nod as another spasm of pain rushes through me, wanting Jayce here, inside of me.
“I think it’s a Westwood curse.”
“Huh?” I ask quietly.
“Well, I was marked by my father,” she grimaces, the disgust visible on her face. “At the time, I had some misunderstandings with Elijah, and I went through heat and refused to let him help.”
I knew her father had marked her, but I never knew she experienced heat.
“And Liam, who was cursed, well, he marked Raven, and she too went into heat. And now another future Westwood woman is going through the same,” she murmurs, her eyes full of sadness and pity, but there’s a gentle smile on her face.
My heart skips a beat; I didn’t know that either…
“We’re warriors, and so are you. You’re doing so well, but whatever both of you choose, whether you want to hold out or give in, it’s completely fine. Do what you need to.”
I nod. “Thank you…” Somehow, knowing that gives me some consolation. “It gets easier…” I tell myself, not realising I said it out loud until she pats my arm.
“You will get through this. Now, are you sure you want me to call your mom and tell her not to come?” she asks, frowning slightly.
I nod again. “Yes, I’m sure,” I whisper, as another jarring stab of pain rushes through me.
“Well, if you need anything, give me a shout. I will not be far,” Grandma Red says as she stands up.
“Where’s Jayce?” I ask quietly.
Her green eyes, which are so similar to his in colour, soften, and she shakes her head. “He left; I think he’s struggling to control himself.”
That stings, but it shouldn’t. For someone who prides themselves on control, why isn’t he close then?
“I see,” I answer softly, closing my eyes.
She doesn’t reply, and after a few moments, leaves.
I sigh quietly, keeping my eyes closed as another spasm of pain slams through me.
I bite my lip, drawing blood as I try to focus on nothing else but my breathing.
Taking steadying breaths as I remain here with my eyes closed.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but I’m beginning to fall into a daze when I hear Grandma Red enter and top up the ice in the bath as she checks my cheek.
“You’re still burning hot,” she murmurs.
I don’t respond, knowing if I do I’ll just let out a whimper, so instead I just nod slowly, my entire body ravaged with intense heat.
“It’s quite late; would you like me to get you something to eat?” she asks softly.
I shake my head.
“I need the jabs,” I whisper hoarsely, knowing I won’t be able to get out of the bath with how much my body is hurting.
“Sienna, you had one earlier,” she reminds me.
Gods, if only she knew how painful this is. I’m about to tell her I’ve had more than one several times in my last cycles, but something tells me she might just tell Leo that.
“Oh yeah,” I lie smoothly. “I forgot.”
“Oh, honey, I know it must be so hard.”
I don’t say anything further, and I begin to hatch a plan to get to the kitchen to get my jabs. But in between the spasming pain and how turned on I feel, I’m unable to move.
Gods help me.
“Call me if you need anything.” With those words, she shuts the door behind her, and I reach down between my legs, knowing I need to relieve some of the pain, and the only thing that helps is orgasms.
I touch myself, my mind wandering to Jayce; his touch, his scent, the way he kisses me, the way he fucks me. I let out a soft moan, picturing him taking me as I rub my clit. It’s not long before an orgasm tears through me, bringing me momentary reprieve.
Sinking back against the side of the tub, I steady my breathing. This time, the pain is getting worse faster. I’m not sure how many more cycles I’ll be able to cope like this.
Pressing my hand to my forehead, I take a deep breath as I close my eyes. Gods, what am I to do?
It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, and I’m exhausted.
The dome pulses heavily in my ears, and my entire body is in pain.
I drop to my knees, crawling forward as I whimper. Gods help me!
I want to curl up and wish away the pain, but the urge to keep moving is stronger, and it’s as if I’m moving against my own accord towards the Will. The incessant need to touch it overpowers every other sane thought.
Another jolt of pain rushes through me, and I whimper, but my legs keep dragging forward. It’s come into view now, the sense of foreboding growing. Suddenly, I can’t breathe.
I gasp for air, but it feels as if my lungs are flooded with water.
Water?
This is a dream! I was in the tub!
I struggle to wake up, but it’s as if a force is keeping me grounded. I can’t breathe!
My lungs scream, but nothing I do is working as I collapse to the floor, trying to force myself to wake up; although I’m trying, it’s futile.
My vision darkens, and my arms are becoming heavier…
Wake up, Sienna, WAKE UP! I scream at myself.
Everything is going dark, but something tells me I’m not about to wake up.
I push against the force pressing me further beneath the water, and the last thing I remember is wondering if this is really how it ends for me.
Of all the ways I thought I could die, drowning was not one of them.
Jayce…