Chapter 5
FIVE
SIERRA
I don’t know why I’m telling him this.
The man’s a stranger.
But there’s also something in his eyes that pulls me in, that has me trusting him.
And honestly?
It feels good to get this off my chest.
What’s the worst that’s going to happen?
He tells the world my sob story and I get more disparaging TikToks and snarky gossip blog stories about me?
Been there, done that. The souvenir T-shirt is probably my only clean item of clothing at this point.
“I’ve lost both of my parents too,” he says. “Mom from cancer when I was ten. Dad of a heart attack at sixteen.”
My stomach squeezes hard. “I’m sorry.”
His fingers lace through mine. “I’m sorry too,” he says softly. “I didn’t mean to take over. I just…I know what it’s like to lose them, and I know what it’s like to want to find that same sense of belonging in others.”
I exhale, and I see the truth in his eyes.
See how deeply he felt those words.
“Hockey was that for me,” he says. “It became my family, my safe place, and sometimes…it shouldn’t have been.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes the guys weren’t…well—” He sighs.
“Sometimes they were cocky assholes who only had their egos in mind. Sometimes—” Another sigh.
“Sometimes they were good, were great even, and rosters changed and that family changed. But—” His fingers tighten around mine for a second.
“It wasn’t until I came here that I really knew what a family could be like.
” One big shoulder lifts and drops. “It’s not perfect and not all of the guys are super close, but I’ve found the family I’ve been missing and it’s pretty fucking great. ”
Warmth in my belly.
Because I’m glad that this big, burly man with a gentle heart who showed me—a stranger—kindness and then took me out for delicious pie found something that made him happy.
“I’m glad,” I whisper. “I’m really glad you found that.” I slip my fingers from his, pick up my fork and start eating again, something that’s much easier now that my stomach is no longer churning.
We eat quietly for a few minutes and I find my gaze drawn to the window.
I need to keep moving, keep searching for peace.
Even if part of me thought it might be this place from the moment I descended into the lush green valley.
Drink Gate last night told me enough.
Time to move on.
“You should come to the game tonight.”
I freeze with my fork an inch from my mouth. “I don’t know if you remember,” I murmur. “But my face has been plastered across the world these last few months. Sitting inside an arena filled with rabid fans doesn’t seem like a great idea.”
His eyes glimmer with humor. “No,” he says. “Probably not. But I was thinking you could hang in the player’s box.”
“I—”
“Have you ever been to a hockey game?”
I shake my head.
“Then you have to experience it at least once—the roar of the crowd, the speed of the game”—he flashes a smile, waggles his brows—“the sexy players who’ll show off for you.”
I giggle.
“It’ll be private and give you a chance to meet some good people who won’t shit on you just because some asshole has a vendetta and didn’t like that you wouldn’t put up with his bullshit.”
I freeze again, eyes darting to his.
Something blooms in my belly.
Something I haven’t felt in a long, long time.
Hope.
“Then afterward, we’ll go to Lake’s house and his woman will make us far too many honey and rosemary Moscow mules and we’ll get far too competitive over Uno.”
I smile. “That sounds like fun.”
“So come,” he says softly. “Come and meet everyone and if you feel comfortable then just…stay.”
I inhale, the refusal already on the tip of my tongue.
But then I remember that table full of big men and smiling women, the laughter that rang out across the bar, the soft brush of Bear’s sweatshirt over my cheek as he wiped the drink from my skin.
And instead of telling him I can’t—
I say…
“Okay.”
“Yes!”
I jump up and find myself high-fiving the two women from the bar the night before—Nova and Ella. I’d never even watched a hockey game before tonight, but somehow, over the course of a few hours, I’ve become a fan.
Big time.
The speed.
The hits.
The funny mid-game graphics on the jumbotron.
The men—man—below.
“That’s right, bitches!” Ella says, shaking her booty in a hilariously adorable wiggle before jumping back up and exchanging another round of high fives.
We cheer on the guys as they clap each other on the back, and I’m smiling so wide my face hurts as fist bumps and grins are passed all around, the players from the Sierra congratulating each other on the overtime goal.
Congratulating Bear.
“He brought it for you,” Nova says quietly, her butterfly earring swinging from her ears, glimmering in the overhead lights.
“What?” I ask.
“Bear,” she tells me, nodding toward the ice. “I’ve never seen him play like that before.”
That shouldn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy.
But it does.
“Oh,” I whisper. “I don’t think he did. We just met and we’re…friends.”
Which sounds lame, even to my own ears.
But these women are nice enough to not call me on it—though I don’t miss the knowing look they exchange.
Nor the fluttery feeling that fills my belly.
“Right,” Nova says, not unkindly. “So, are you coming back to our place for drinks and games?” she asks. “The guys have the next two days off, which means that we usually have an epic Uno battle, eat junk food and drink my signature mules.”
Likely, I should decline.
Should head out of town.
But I don’t.
Because Ella links her arm through mine. “Please come hang with us. We need another woman to balance out the sides—”
“To cheat in Uno she means,” Nova stage whispers, her green eyes dancing with humor.
“Have you seen my man?” she asks. “His hands are far too big and he moves far too fast for us to effectively win, and then you add in the others and—”
“Too fast?” Nova teases. “Too big?”
“Far too fast,” she says, lips twitching.
“I’m pretty sure you love Riggs’ brand of fast,” Nova says on a grin.
“Maybe.” She winks. “And he’s definitely not too big.”
“A Goldilocks situation?” Nova asks. “Not too big. Not too small—”
Amusement in my belly, boiling up into my throat.
“Juuussst right,” they croon in unison.
Before bursting out into laughter.
I can’t hold back my own laughter.
Then realize what I’ve done when they both stop and look at me.
I joined in on the teasing.
And this isn’t my home, isn’t my family.
“Oh yeah,” Ella says, taking my arm and leading me out into the hallway. “You’ll do.”
And then, somehow, I find myself shepherded off to Nova’s car.
Driven through winding roads.
And ushered into a large log and stone covered house.
A fire is lit and there are snacks on the counter and we spend the night trying Nova’s newest variations of Moscow Mules.
(Though her original honey and rosemary were still the best).
I win a round of Uno—though I’m pretty sure it’s a pity round because I’m decimated with Skips and Plus Fours every match after that.
Eventually though, the heat of the fire and the noise gets to me—
Or maybe I’m liking it too much and I have to remind myself this is real life, that I’ll be moving on and alone again and—
I sigh.
Either way, I need a break, so I take the opportunity to step outside.
The cold air immediately makes me shiver, but the vodka in my belly, warming my insides, my cheeks means that I’m not uncomfortable.
The golden light shines out from the windows, silhouetting the tall trees dotting the back yard, the long staircase leading down onto Lake’s property.
I lean against the railing, stare out into the yard, and listen to nothing except the breeze rustling through the pine needles, the faint echoes of laughter inside, the…
Soft footsteps coming toward me.
I turn and see Bear next to me, big body strong and loose as he strolls over and leans on the railing next to me. “What do you think, little fox?”
“About what?” I ask, not protesting when he slips an arm around my shoulders, warms my shivering body with his.
“About the family I’ve made?”
“They’re great.”
Really great.
So great that I’m jealous.
He smooths back my hair. “They like you too.”
My heart pulses. “That’s nice,” I say. “You were all really nice to have included me in tonight.” I inhale his scent, hold this moment close. “I won’t forget it.”
“I mean…”
My gaze is drawn up to his, locking onto those deep blue eyes.
“…you could stay for a bit.”
Another whoosh through my middle. “I—”
“Enjoy the fresh air, try some more of Nova’s concoctions, cackle with Ella, maybe get to know a certain hockey player a little better?”
I freeze.
“But—”
“What?” he asks, fingers brushing over the shell of my ear, tracing over the sensitive skin behind it.
“But you don’t know me,” I whisper. “And the song—”
“I know that I love the sound of your laugh,” he says. “And that I wanted to chase those assholes down who threw that drink at you. I know that I don’t give a fuck about some idiotic lead singer’s lyrics—though he does deserve a fist to the face for being such a dick.”
“Bear—”
“And I know that I don’t like the sadness in your eyes.”
“I—”
“And I fucking love the moan you make when you like the taste of your pie. In fact”—he leans close—“I want to feel it against my tongue when I taste you.”
A shiver courses through me.
Not cold.
Not at all.
Not scared.
Not in the least.
Drawn.
To this man and the way his head bends, breaths brushing my skin.
She’s a sneaky bitch.
She’s an awful witch—
No.
I’m not.
I’m just a woman trying my best.
I’m just a woman who’s scared and alone and—
Maybe I don’t have to be.
Maybe I can have a future here, a future somewhere.
Maybe I can stop hiding and build something real.
And that’s why, on this cold night with the sound of laughter echoing through a wide window, I rise up on my tiptoes and kiss Bear Lexington.
For the future.
For something more.
For…
Laughter turned into cheers that echoes out and dances in my ears.