Chapter Twenty-Seven
Claire
Jamison’s body crumples to the floor. I’m rushing forward, but I’m not close enough to catch him. Thorne is quicker, and he hauls Jamison’s large body up with his. One of my hands lands on Jamison’s back and the other on his chest. Jamison’s six-foot-three-inch frame and over two hundred pounds is nothing but dead weight right now. A man in green scrubs trailed by Chadwick catches up and helps take over. They were rushing down the hospital hallway in our direction already.
Jamison should be in a hospital bed. Why hasn’t he been changed and cared for yet? I was told they were brought in over five hours ago. It just took our search team that long to get off the mountain and fly to the hospital. I expected him to be sleeping when I got here.
I’m fuming as the men get Jamison back to his room. Dad updated me after Finn talked to Thorne. Said Jamison and Rylee made it to the hospital and were being treated. Both were staying overnight. Finn tried to take Dad and me back to the hotel in town before coming to the hospital. I gave him one sharp look, and Finn brought me here first. I had Finn take Dad to the hotel for rest, but I’d be at the hospital to make sure Jamison was recovering. I didn’t expect to find him like this.
I follow them into the room as they lay Jamison on the bed. His head flops back on the white pillow. He’s covered in soot, the deep red mark on his forehead still raw and the stitches harsh against his tanned skin. His face is dirty, and his beard is thick and unkept. His long hair is wild and untamed.
Why hasn’t he been cleaned yet? Well, I’ll take care of it. I go to his feet first to remove his boots. His jeans are stained, and his shirt is torn. Why is he still in the clothes they found him in? The nurse, his lips moving, works on a nearby machine. I try to remove Jamison’s shirt next. It’s tattered, torn, and covered in blood. My throat vibrates as I growl in frustration. Everyone is still hovering in the room, shadows bouncing around us. I work on the snap of Jamison’s jeans next. I look up, making sure the nurse is doing something. He’s placing an IV in Jamison’s arm, so I pause not to shift his body unnecessarily.
A warm hand lands on my forearm. Chadwick slides a piece of paper my way. Sorry, we had him settled, then I told him you hadn’t made it off the mountain yet. He flipped. You seem pissed. Thought that might be why.
I glance at him, and Chadwick tilts the corner of his mouth up, waiting to see if he was right.
I nod. It’s why I’m upset. I bend my fingers in a “give me”gesture, requesting the pen. I use the nearby table to write. He does not leave this bed again unless he’s cleared by the physician. Got it?
I lift the paper and give it to the nurse. He reads it, then looks up. My brow is raised. He looks to my left, where Thorne stands. Chadwick and Thorne read the note. Chadwick starts laughing, and Thorne raises his hands in surrender.
The guys leave the room, and with the nurse’s help, I finish changing Jamison. The clothes land in the trash. I work diligently to remove the dirt from his body with a washcloth and observe every detail of the man I love.
As the initial rush of anger fades and I work to clean his face, I’m so overwhelmed that I could cry. I could have lost him on that mountain. I will always have that risk by loving this man. I don’t know what I would have done had I lost him, but I’ll learn to bear it. He carries all my heart now.
After I finish cleaning and the nurse leaves, I drop into the nearby chair. The hospital chair is uncomfortable, but I manage just fine. I wrap Jamison’s large hand in mine, lounge out in the chair, and promptly fall asleep to rest my frayed nerves.
Hours must go by, because when the squeezing sensation in my hand wakes me up, the sun filters through the windows. It takes a moment for me to gather my bearings, but then I’m up from the chair and sitting beside Jamison.
His eyes roam over my face. His hand comes up to push a wayward strand of hair out of his way, then he signs, You’re hurt.
I’d been in such a rush to get off that mountain after we found them, I slipped on some rocks and fell. It really isn’t anything but a scratch. It doesn”t even need a Band-Aid. Not like him.
I’m okay. You’re hurt, I sign.
I can’t stop the tears from falling when I see the stitches on his forehead or the wraps of white bandage around his chest. Jamison swipes tears away with the pad of his thumb. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and let everything go. Jamison wraps me snug in his embrace. His hand slides in my hair, and his lips land on my temple with a kiss.
I’m careful not to smash my body into his broken ribs. When Jamison shifts his weight to hold me tighter and flinches, I pull away and give him a stern look. He doesn’t pay much attention to how hurt he is. With a press of the nurse’s button, I make Jamison lie back and stop moving. A deft swipe of my hand removes all the tears that fell before the nurse walks in.
The nurse is a petite woman with cropped white hair and a sweet smile. She must have an update from the nurse last night, because she doesn’t attempt to speak, but rather hands me a clipboard with a piece of paper asking, How can I help you?
I glance over at Jamison. His brow is still furrowed, and despite his IV, he signs, I’m okay. Come back to me.
My pen glides across the paper. A heavy floral scent hits my nose. Maybe to others it would seem like just a hint of Chanel No. 5, but for me, it’s almost enough to make me gag. I ignore it and pass the clipboard back to the nurse.
He’ll say no, but I think he needs more pain medication. I also think he’ll tell you he’s fine and wants to leave. Feel free to ignore him unless the doctor tells you otherwise.
The nurse puts the clipboard to her side and goes to talk to Jamison. They share a few words, then the nurse turns to leave. When our eyes meet, a smile spreads across her face. She’s laughing. When I glance back, Jamison’s arms are crossed and he rolls his eyes. I don’t care.
Let me take care of you, I sign, then sit on the edge of his bed, leaving some distance between us this time. I have to swallow the lump that forms in my throat when I pick up his hand again. I almost lost him, but that danger comes with being in love with a man like Jamison. That means we need to treasure every moment we have together.
Jamison releases my hand so he can sign. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’ve missed you so fucking much. Jamison sits up, ignoring me when I push him back down. I sure picked a stubborn man to fall for.
“Stop moving,”I say out loud. He doesn’t seem to be listening any other way.
A look I’ve never seen before crosses his face as he signs, I need to hold you.
And you need to heal. We can discuss what happened between us. I work hard to keep my signing slow and my emotions in check. The harsh smell of the hospital room nearly makes me gag every time I take a breath, but I refuse to leave his side. He slides a piece of paper over and starts writing.
I know I don’t deserve you, but I want to prove to you that I can be the man for you. I thought you’d push me away after what I did. I know my life is hard to handle. I’m a mess. I’m sorry.
I grab his hand, his rough palm comforting me. I run my fingers through his hair and kiss his cheek, then I free my hands. I need that connection between us, as much as I can get without hurting him.
Everyone deserves love. Fight for what you want. You don’t seem like the type to give up, but I felt like you were giving up on us,I write.
I’m not. I’m stubborn, and you’re stuck with me.
The nurse returns and gives him the pain medicine. He shoots me a look, and I just smile. He might be stubborn, but so am I. I have no issues being stuck with this man right here. After the nurse administers the pain medicine, she leaves, and I turn back to Jamison.
I pass him some water to drink, then sign, So I’m stuck with you? No more pushing me away? I ask, and as much as I want to just get lost in his arms, this conversation is so important because I want to be stuck with him forever.
I promise. I fell in love with you. I want to make us work.
His confession lifts all the weight that has been sitting on my chest. To know I wasn’t falling alone makes the adventure of finding love that much more exhilarating.
We are going to work. I love you, I sign and release a deep breath. Warmth spreads through my chest.
A happiness like this is something I haven’t felt before Jamison threw himself into my world with his words, both written and slashed through the air.
I need to hold you, he signs.
I stand and make my way over to kiss his forehead.
Well, let me try to spring you from this hospital.
◆◆◆
The next morning, I drive Jamison home. The doctor agreed he wasn’t dehydrated anymore, and his ribs would heal at home. Though he will have to avoid work for a while and keep taking his pain medication. He’s officially on medical leave for the next four weeks.
Rylee was discharged a few hours before him, and Finn drove her back to Casper. She recovered quickly and was back to her usual self. She blamed herself repeatedly for what happened, but I told her to stop. These are the dangers that come with the job, and I’m going to be strong enough to stay by Jamison’s side through the thick of it.
After three hours in the car, my man is extremely grumpy when we reach his cabin. I reach into the back of our rental car and grab our bags. I follow Jamison up the steps and inside. He turns to take the bags and tosses them in the entryway. He’s not supposed to lift anything or work for the next four weeks while recovering, but I have a feeling he’s going to be stubborn about that too. That’s okay. He’s stuck with me, and I’ll make sure he doesn’t work too hard.
Jamison goes to the kitchen to grab something to drink. I see his mother’s journal resting on the counter when I follow him. I lift the journal up and see my letter marking the page I told him to read. He always felt reading her journals was invasive, but I wanted him to know as much as he could about his father. Based on the journals and what my father knew, I wrote him a letter revealing my research.
I glance his way when he walks over and hands me his glass of water. Jamison picks up a letter and hands it to me. He must have written it before he crashed in the mountains. He was already ready to reach out like I was. After stealing a sip, I set the glass down and open the letter.
◆◆◆
Hey, babe,
Thank you for telling me about my father. I can’t believe my mother kept it a secret for so long.
I don’t know if I’ll ever understand her reason for not telling me even though he passed before I was born.
I would love to fly out to the Copper River Valley with you one day. Thank you for offering to go with me.
I’m sorry for pushing you away, but please let me come back to you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making things right.
I couldn’t say the exact moment I fell in love with you. It could have been that first moment I saw you on my mother’s front porch when you were moving your parents into their home. Your head was tipped back, your gaze turned to the sun. The rays of light shined down on you, and it was the first time I hadn’t felt like flying away.
It could have been the first time you looked at me with a softness in your eyes. It also could have been the first time you spoke to me; the delicate way your voice wrapped around me, and your embrace became the only place I wanted to be.
Please, babe, let me come back to your arms.
Love,
Jamison
◆◆◆
I set the paper on the counter and turn. I rise on my toes so he doesn’t have to lower himself to reach me. I steal his lips in a deep and passionate kiss. I get to feel his kisses and lose myself in his arms. Like him, I couldn’t pinpoint the moment I entirely fell, but all that matters is that in the end, I’m here with him.