22. Deadbolts are for Locking – Mar
CHAPTER 22
DEADBOLTS ARE FOR LOCKING
MAR
It’s Wednesday evening and I’m closing up Coffey Cafe when Sihn makes his way through the door.
He smiles from ear to ear and says, “I was trying to be charming by showing up and surprising you…”
“It’s definitely surprising. My other boyfriend is about to show up, so I’m gonna need you to leave,” I joke.
He beats his chest with his fist as he says, “You wound me, Pretty One.”
And as if on cue, Ruin walks into the shop.
I look at Sihn and feel like he’s going to think I’ve been going behind his back and seeing Ruin, so I blurt out, “I was joking. I didn’t ask him to come here…”
“I didn’t think you did because I asked him to meet me here.” He encapsulates me in his large arms and whispers in my ear, “I wanted to give you a hug before Ruin and I head out for a bit.”
He wanted to hug me… That is so nice. I don’t think anyone ever, not even my parents, have just wanted to give me a hug . While I’m wrapped up in his arms, my head on his shoulder and lips on his neck, I say, “Awe, I l—like you.” My eyes widen and my heart begins to pound in my chest because I just about said the L word. What is wrong with me? I hope he didn’t catch that. I kept my voice hushed so Ruin wouldn't hear.
He holds me by the shoulders and peers deep into my eyes. “Did you just…” He shakes his head. “…never mind. I’ll see you later, Pretty One.” He kisses me on my forehead and then on both my eyelids before giving me a peck on the lips.
I don’t know if later means tonight or as in another time, but when I open my eyes, he and Ruin are gone.
Jackie Sue clears her throat from behind me. “Who’s that guy? He’s hot.”
I look at her innocent face and tell her, “He’s much too old for you, Jackie Sue.”
She huffs, “I know! But I can still say he’s nice to look at…”
It’s time to close shop and no one has come to get her. I know she doesn’t drive yet because she’s not old enough to have her driver’s license, so I ask, “Are you ready to go?”
“Do you mind giving me a ride home?” She looks down at her cell phone. It looks like she could use an upgrade. The phone screen is cracked in multiple places and has a black spot in the middle. “I can’t get ahold of my mom and I don’t really want to walk unless I have to.”
This must be why she seems so antsy. She was disappointed she couldn’t get ahold of her ride and was scared to ask me to give her one. In a calm tone, I say, “Of course. Teenage girls shouldn’t be out walking alone anyway.”
Fifteen minutes later, I ask, “Which one is yours?” as I pull into a small trailer park on the outskirts of town. My car goes up over a speed bump I didn’t see and then scrapes a pothole—rough terrain in the trailer court.
She points out the passenger side window. “The first one there on the right, with the playset.”
There’s an older, faded wooden playset next to a trailer that looks semi-decent as compared to the others that seem to be missing underpinning. One doesn’t even have steps, just some concrete blocks stacked on one another. I park and she hops out. “Thank you for giving me a ride, Mar.”
“It was no problem, Jackie Sue.” I was going to add that it was on my way home anyway, but I don’t want to lie, this was the opposite way of my place. Noting where I’m dropping her off, she’s probably had enough people in her life lying to her.
I showered as soon as I made it home because the last customer of the evening accidentally pushed their coffee cup across the counter and it spilled down my pants, leaving me feeling sticky.
I check my phone when I’m dried, dressed in a nightshirt and some comfy shorts.
Sihn: Want to come over?
I’m already in my comfy clothes and I don’t feel like putting on different stuff. Maybe he’ll come here…
Me: I would prefer you come here…
Sihn: You live with your parents.
Me: They are out of town.
Sihn: Well, in that case…want Ruin to come too or should I tell him to kick rocks?
Me: I don’t care if he comes to hang out, but I’m unsure if we should indulge in any funny business.
Sihn: No funny business, noted.
Forty-five minutes later, there is a knock at the door. When I open it, I can smell the alcohol permeating from them—a mix of coffee and wheat.
“Y’all smell like you’ve been having fun,” I say as they make their way into the foyer of my childhood home. What I don’t do is nag them for drinking and driving. I should, but I won’t. I’m sure Sihn would just bring up the fact that I wrecked while not intoxicated, yet they didn’t while intoxicated. As they enter the living room off to the right, I ask, “Are you guys hungry?”
“Famished,” Ruin says.
“Can you cook, Mar?” Sihn asks, and it seems like a genuine question.
“I can. I learned how to make a few things in the same pot in college because all I had was one burner.”
“It’s too late for you to fix supper, but whatever you can whip up, we’ll eat it.”
“What about macaroni and cheese?” I suggest.
“That sounds amazing.”
“Box or homemade?” I ask.
“Whatever you feel like doing, Mar. Or we can order Dine on Demand.”
“Are you going to go fetch it for us? I could leave you a good tip,” I kid.
Seductively, Sihn says, “I’ve got a tip for you…”
After I make two boxes of macaroni and cheese, I holler for the boys to come and get it. I doubt either of them has eaten macaroni and cheese for a long time with how physically fit they are.
Sihn comes in and kisses me on my temple before grabbing the two bowls that I have ready for them. “You’re the best, Mar. Is it okay if we eat in the living room and watch a movie?”
I tell him, “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll be there in a second after I find some beers.”
By the time I find beer in the very back of the fridge and make my way to them, they both have already consumed their bowls—not one noodle left.
I set three beers on the coffee table before picking up the remote and flipping on the television. I’m in the mood for some eighties horror. I scroll until I find what I’m looking for. “Here’s what we have to choose from movie-wise: Sleepaway Camp, Hello Mary Lou Prom Night 2, Christine, Children of the Corn, or Gremlins.”
“I don’t like horror, but for you, I will suffer through,” Ruin states.
“How do you not like horror?” I ask.
Sihn says, “It gives the poor boy nightmares.”
I click on one of my favorites. “Sleepaway Camp it is. A slasher classic,” I say.
“When was the first time you saw it?” Sihn asks.
“Sometime in my youth. I’ll never forget the death by bees scene.”
We’re only about fifteen minutes into the movie when I pause it and ask Ruin, “Remember that night you climbed in my bedroom window?”
“I’ll never forget it. I thought that night you were going to bang me for sure. Or at least let me get to second base, but no cigar.”
I push play and we’re mostly silent, aside from Ruin giving a little yelp once.
When the movie ends, Ruin gets up to leave for the night. “Well, I should get going. Tomorrow is a content day.”
“Content day?” I ask.
“A day where I make several videos and take multiple pictures so that I have them ready, and I go ahead and schedule them to release throughout the week. It helps me still be able to do the gaming stuff too.”
“Oh.”
As he gets closer and closer to the door, I panic. He’s leaving, but I don’t want him to leave. Sihn’s eyes seem to urge me to ask him to stay.
I race to the door, locking the deadbolt before saying, “Do I get what I want?”
Both men smile and Ruin nervously runs the palms of his hands down his jeans.
“I hadn’t planned for this to happen, but I know you’ve at least fantasized about getting to have me here, so let’s do it. Let’s indulge in your teenage fantasy.”
“My teenage fantasy includes having sex with you on the roof we spent many nights on talking about life, but your bed would be good, too.”
“How about we settle for my room instead?”
They both eagerly nod. I turn and head for the foyer steps.
They follow behind me as I slowly ascend the stairs. “I know what you guys are doing.” I smile even though I’m aware they can’t see it.
“We’re just taking in the view,” Sihn admits.
I stop in front of my door. “Before I let you two in my childhood room, is everyone okay with this? I feel like we keep doing this, but we don’t talk about the repercussions of it.”
“We are fine with whatever you’re fine with, Mar. If you told us to both take a hike right now, we’d leave,” Sihn says.
“You’re the one who invited us to your room…” Ruin adds.
He’s right, and I think Sihn is telling the truth, too. We’re all consenting adults. We’ve already crossed the line before, so what’s one more time?
With my back to the door, I twist the knob and open up the room. My lips pull up as I step backward into the room and the boys follow one after the other—my little sex soldiers.
“So this is it.” After flipping the light switch on, I gesture around the room, pointing out my small, twin-size bed, my desk, chair, and embarrassing wall hangings from my youth.
Sihn sits down in the computer chair and says, “Pretend I’m not even here. Live out your childhood dreams you two.”
I’ve not gone all the way with Ruin yet. Is this Sihn’s way of telling us to fuck in front of him? It feels wrong if he’s not participating, too.
Ruin takes a seat on my purple comforter. Thankfully my bed is made, Mother never likes an unmade bed. She still says that making a bed is the best way to ensure your day starts with a completed task.
I search Sihn’s eyes for any signs of discomfort with the situation. It does sound fun, getting to play out a fantasy of Ruin’s, but I didn’t ask for this. I’m scared Sihn is going to regret this afterward, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m falling for him. Ruin is just some fun, but he’s not who I want to be my person.
Ruin asks, “Why do you still have your clothes on?”
I twirl a loose strand of hair around my finger and say, “In your fantasy, do you take them off, or do I?”
“In my teenage fantasy, we might have never been unclothed… I could bust my load just thinking about your beautiful face or you humping my leg.”
I take the seat next to him. “Tell me your fantasy.”
“We would sit and talk into the night about how much we wanted each other, but you were going to go off to college, so we knew it wouldn’t last, but regardless of what happens, we’re going to have that moment, that nothing will stop it, as if our very lives have led to it. You straddle my lap and hold my hands as you grind on me. Then you lean your face into my neck and continue your pursuit for ecstasy. You grind rhythmically, not forcefully, as you kiss the inside of my neck, and I push you harder onto my leg as you grind your clit against the harsh fabric. I wrap my arms around your torso as I nibble on your neck, steadily increasing the pressure I’m putting on you, so it feels more intense on your clit as you get closer to your orgasm. You tell me you don’t want to come like that, that you want me deep inside of you.”
Wow. “And then what?”
“Oh by then I’ve blown my load.”
I giggle. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.”
“It’s okay.”
“How about we see how your fantasy ends in real life?”
“How’s that?” Ruin asks.
“You deep inside of me and begging me to come so you can come too…” After I finish saying it, liquid leaks from my insides into my underwear.
Ruin bites the middle of his lip as he makes eye contact with me. “Fuck, Mar, that sounds so nice.”
Sihn’s voice is soft from across the room, “Ruin, if you don’t fuck her soon, I will.”