46 | ☕ Baby Shower Olympics ☕
The living area had become a chaotic obstacle course.
Pastel pink and blue balloons floated near the ceiling, their ribbons dangling like vines in a jungle of baby-themed decorations.
Streamers curled around furniture legs and draped across the walls in chaotic loops, some carefully put, others hurriedly tossed.
The coffee table had been pushed aside to make room for a long dining table, now completely overtaken by what could only be described as baby-themed battlegrounds.
At one end, a plastic baby bottle chugging contest station stood ready, complete with a timer and a pile of bibs.
Next to it, a "Diaper Dash" setup featured an unsettling row of baby dolls, each waiting to be speed-changed like tiny, judgmental spectators.
A makeshift race lane had been taped onto the floor, labelled Crawl Race, as if full-grown adults were expected to participate. The subtle aroma of vanilla and baby powder hung in the air, heightening the absurdity of the situation.
Atlas stood frozen in the doorway, hands deep in his hoodie pockets. His sharp eyes roamed over the scene, taking in every bizarre detail—the scoreboard that read Team Mom vs. Team Dad, the suspiciously enthusiastic decorations, the undeniable sense of competition humming in the air.
Slowly, he turned to Kaia, his expression blank but his fingers twitching, ready to demand an explanation. After a beat, he finally lifted his hands.
"Explain."
Kaia clapped her hands together with exaggerated enthusiasm, her grin widening as she looked at Atlas and Anya.
"Gladly! Welcome to the Baby Shower Olympics, where soon-to-be parents battle it out in a series of gruelling—yet educational—challenges," she announced, her voice practically dripping with mock-seriousness.
Anya, who was absolutely beaming with delight, tilted her head, her large eyes gleaming with interest. "What kind of challenges are we talking about?" Her tone was one of joyful eagerness, as if she was more excited to watch the chaos unfold than anything else.
Kaia's smirk deepened, the type that could only spell trouble.
"Oh, just the essentials. Future parents must possess essential survival abilities. Diaper-changing speed rounds, one-handed bottle assembling, and the renowned baby food tasting tests—" She paused for dramatic effect, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
"And don't forget the 'How Fast Can You Calm A Screaming Baby?' Race!"
Atlas's expression darkened before he pinched the bridge of his nose with a long, drawn-out sigh, his brows furrowing deeper. He lifted his hands and signed slowly, clearly unimpressed.
"I already don't like this."
Kaia, completely unfazed by his disapproval, patted his shoulder with a light chuckle. "That's the spirit, my dear friend. You'll warm up to it... or not." Her tone was light, but there was no denying the gleam of excitement in her eyes.
Before Atlas could respond—or at least attempt to—Kieran, one of his closest friends and Kaia's unfortunate partner in crime, strode in through the door.
He was holding a tray, and Atlas immediately recognized the contents with a sinking feeling in his stomach: tiny jars of mushy baby food, each one labelled with a hand-drawn, barely legible tag.
Kieran's grin was almost too wide as he approached the group.
"Alright, contestants!" he announced with the energy of someone who clearly enjoyed chaos.
"First up—The Mystery Baby Food Challenge!"
He set the tray down on the table with a dramatic flair, as if the moment itself required some kind of fanfare.
Anya's eyes lit up, her grin wide as she practically bounced on her heels. "Oh, this I wanna see," she said, already looking over the jars with the same kind of curiosity one might have for a strange, exotic delicacy.
Atlas, on the other hand, wasn't quite as thrilled.
He let out a long, defeated exhale, his shoulders slumping.
His gaze flicked from the baby food to Kaia, then back to the tiny jars, his mind already racing with the consequences of the challenge.
He raised both hands and signed again, his movements slow and deliberate, though the frustration was clear in every gesture.
Kaia, having anticipated the response, merely grinned wider, her hands coming up to clap once, twice, in mock celebration. "Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" she said, the excitement in her voice betraying her own amusement at his misery. "You've got this!"
Kieran nodded enthusiastically, pointing at the jars with a dramatic flourish.
"The rules are simple," he said, his grin never faltering.
"You each take a spoonful of one of these mystery jars. No cheating, no guessing ahead of time. You get one taste, and you have to guess the flavour. If you get it wrong, you're out."
Atlas glared at the tray, then slowly shifted his eyes toward Kaia, who was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. He pinched the bridge of his nose again, feeling the weight of every poor decision he'd made leading up to this very moment.
He sighed deeply, lifting his hands one more time to sign, the motions slow and filled with the weariness of a man who had accepted his fate.
"I'm going to regret this."
Kaia threw up her hands, grinning wider than ever. "Now we're talking!" she exclaimed. "Let the Baby Food Olympics begin!"
Atlas closed his eyes for a moment, trying to mentally prepare himself for the disaster ahead. Anya, still glowing with excitement, leaned forward, practically vibrating with anticipation. She was already eyeing the jars, ready to dive into the chaos.
He popped the lid off one of the tiny jars and hesitated for a moment. The strange, unsettling scent wafted up—something faintly metallic mixed with an oddly sweet undertone. He stared at the mushy, unappetizing contents, then, with a resigned sigh, scooped up a spoonful and took a cautious bite.
The second it hit his tongue, his face immediately crumpled.
His brow furrowed in disgust as he quickly swallowed, trying to keep the revolting taste from overwhelming him.
His eyes widened in horror as he pointed at the jar with a shaking hand, mouthing the words before signing with exaggerated frustration.
"What the hell is this?"
Kaia, who had been watching eagerly, burst into a fit of cackling laughter. "Carrot and peas!" she managed between giggles, her voice high-pitched with amusement. "I thought you'd love it!"
He wiped his mouth as if the flavour had lingered, his eyes narrowed in disbelief.
Anya, already holding a jar of her own, cautiously took a taste, and the immediate gagging noise that followed confirmed that she wasn't exactly thrilled either.
She grimaced, her face scrunching up as she spit the bite into a napkin.
"Oh my god, that's awful." She held the jar at arm's length, as if afraid it might bite her back. "How do babies even survive this?"
Kaia, still laughing, reached over to the tray and casually picked up a jar with a label she barely glanced at. "Let's see...," she muttered, looking at the label. "Oh, look! That's banana and beef."
Atlas's jaw dropped as he gaped at her. The horror on his face was palpable. He shot her a look, his eyes wide and filled with disbelief.
"WHO FEEDS BABIES THIS?!" he signed frantically, his hands sharp and fast with the motion.
Kaia shrugged casually, unphased. "Babies don't have taste buds yet," she explained with a nonchalant wave of her hand, as if that somehow made it okay. "They're all about texture. Who cares what it tastes like?"
Anya, still recovering from her near-vomit experience, stared at the jar in her hand with pure distaste. "This is child abuse," she muttered, eyes wide with judgment. "No wonder they cry all the time."
Kaia rolled her eyes playfully, clearly enjoying the chaos she'd unleashed. "Come on, guys. It's a rite of passage."
Atlas, already feeling his stomach turn from the first jar, reluctantly grabbed another one. This time, he didn't hesitate as much, but the moment the spoon touched his lips, he regretted his decision. The texture was too smooth, almost gelatinous, and the taste... so much worse than expected.
His face crumpled in disgust, and he immediately reached for his water, trying to wash away the taste. His hands were shaking slightly as he signed, his frustration growing with each jar.
"WHAT IS THIS ONE?"
Kaia grinned. "That, my dear friend, is sweet potato and chicken."
Atlas's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He stared at her for a long moment, then shot his hands up to sign with exaggerated horror.
"SWEET POTATO AND CHICKEN? WHO COMBINES THOSE TWO THINGS?"
Kaia just shrugged, clearly amused by his distress. "Apparently, babies don't care about flavour combinations."
Anya, who had just recovered from her last taste, grabbed a jar off the table. This one had a curious shade of green to it, and the label simply said "Spinach Delight." She took one cautious bite and immediately gagged.
"Oh my god, it's like they ground up grass and put it in a jar," she spat, barely able to keep from laughing at the absurdity. "I'm not sure whether to cry or laugh at this point."
Atlas, who was already looking like he had seen the gates of hell and was contemplating walking through them, shot her a look. His hands lifted, and he signed slowly but with a resigned air.
"I don't know how much more of this I can take."
The next round came swiftly, and Kaia's Cheshire cat grin was almost too much to bear as she set up the diaper-change race.
The table was lined with two baby dolls, each wearing the most mismatched outfits imaginable—one had a polka-dotted onesie with stripes, and the other was dressed in what looked like a homemade dress that belonged on a teddy bear.
Both dolls had strategically placed diapers that practically screamed "This is a test!"
Kaia raised an eyebrow at the duo, her voice full of mischief. "You both have thirty seconds to change the diapers. "Go!" she exclaimed, clearly enjoying every second of it.