Chapter 1
Kalin
I glanced at my phone screen when it lit up, then sighed, already knowing who it would be. And I wasn’t in the right headspace to deal with him. Still, that didn’t stop me from grabbing my phone to read his text to me and Spike because I was nothing if not a sucker for punishment.
Record Label Asshole Owner
I watched the live stream of your concert tonight. Beautiful, as always.
I gritted my teeth, my fingers tightening around my phone.
Richard Nightwork—aka Record Label Asshole Owner—was both the bane of my existence and the love of my life. For a little over a year now, Spike and I had been his boyfriends. He swept us off our feet with sweet words, promises of a future, and love—something Spike and I never really had growing up.
Something I was desperate to have.
Spike and I had always been a thing. Even if our friends had never really known it because we kept it under wraps, we’d always been together. Made the promise as kids and it stuck. We were one hundred percent each other’s forever. And that’d always been enough.
Until Richard Nightwork blew into our lives, gave us a multi-million dollar signing deal, and then proceeded to make me and Spike fall for him.
Richard was truly sweet and loving, but I was tired of keeping our relationship hidden from the entire world.
We couldn’t go on dates. Couldn’t be seen touching in public.
Fuck, we couldn’t even call him when we were having a bad day because he might be around someone who couldn’t know about our relationship.
He always said he was looking for a solution, for a way the three of us could be together publicly without bringing heat down on us or his company, but I was sick and tired of waiting.
I’d rather cut my losses and try to move on from him, but he made it so fucking hard to do that when he sent messages like this.
I didn’t bother responding, though Spike did. My heart clenched in my chest, knowing Spike was still entertaining Richard, claiming he understood where the older man was coming from.
I didn’t care to understand. For so long, I’d put everyone above myself—Spike, our best friends…
fuck, I even put this tour and this band above myself.
But no more. Our best friends had found their happily ever afters, so why couldn’t we do the fucking same?
And if my happily ever after was only with Spike, then I would be okay with that.
But this feeling of being second-best, of not being good enough or worthy enough? I couldn’t take it much longer. It was ripping me apart at the seams and making me bleed all over everything I fucking touched.
Spike
Thanks.
Scoffing at Spike’s message, I locked my phone and turned it face down so I wouldn’t be tempted by more of their messages. Shutting my eyes, I folded my arms over my face, listening to the sound of the guys getting ready for bed, which meant Spike would be coming into our bunk soon.
“Night, Kalin,” Tor called as he and Salem passed the bunk I was holed up in.
“Night,” I muttered, not caring if my voice could be heard beyond my curtain.
Tor and Salem were the first in our friend group to get together, though it hadn’t been an easy journey for them.
A drunken night ruined their friendship, and then they spent months being at each other’s throats.
Salem was, surprisingly, the first to cave when Tor overdosed and wound up in the hospital.
“You good, bro?” Dalton asked, pushing my curtain back just enough to peer at me.
“Fine,” I grunted, not bothering to move my arms and look at him. “Just tired and ready to be home.”
He sighed. “I know, man. Just two more nights. Hang in there.”
I just made a noise of acknowledgment, listening as the curtain fell back into place. A moment later, I heard him and Jesse, our other friend and band mate, slip into the bunk beneath me and Spike. They were the second in our group to get together, and they were absolutely adorable as a couple.
They’d fallen apart when we all moved into a mansion and got separate rooms. I had no idea what’d caused all their miscommunication, but they’d thankfully worked shit out and learned to communicate when Jesse’s mother passed away.
She’d been a horrible woman and an even worse mother, but Jesse had loved her, regardless.
Dalton had been solid ground for him during that time, which brought them back together.
“Baby…” Spike murmured, crawling into the bunk beside me.
I opened my eyes, watching as he slipped beneath the blankets with me.
The moment he was laying down, he opened his arms to me.
I rolled into them immediately and burrowed my face against his chest, my throat inexplicably tight all of a sudden.
“Richard is worried about you,” he whispered so the others wouldn’t overhear us.
“I don’t care,” I muttered, my voice muffled by his chest. “He clearly doesn’t give a shit about us.”
Spike sighed and rested his chin on top of my head. “You know that’s not the case, baby, but you’re entitled to your opinions and your feelings. I won’t do or say anything to make them seem somehow less.” He tightened his arms around me. “Maybe you both just need to talk.”
I shook my head. “You know it’s going to be his way or the highway, and I’m so done catering to what everyone else wants.”
Spike kissed the top of my head. “Okay,” he said gently. I shuddered when he slipped his palm under my shirt and began stroking his hand up and down my back. “Just get some rest then, baby. We’ve got another long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Another long day meant another concert. We’d always wanted the fame, but fuck, I was so tired every time we had to go on tour. It got more and more exhausting each time.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Spike kissed my hair once more. “I love you, too, baby. I will always love you, and no matter what happens, I’m always yours, you hear me? You’ll never have to worry about losing me.”
I swallowed thickly. “Thank you.”
He just hummed and continued holding me, gently rubbing my back until he managed to lull me to sleep.