Chapter 2
"I'm sorry. There is absolutely nothing wrong. Your heart is healthier than mine, according to all of our tests. I'll discharge you with a note to go see your PCP. I recommend you talk to them about some anxiety medication."
"Anxiety?" Grace couldn't help it, her voice sounded weak and strained.
She glanced across the bed where Sasha stood, her arms folded over her chest, her brows drawn. Sasha could not possibly be happy to hear that there actually was nothing wrong with her, other than a little bit of anxiety.
It didn't seem like a little. It seemed like a lot. So much that she thought she had been going to die.
"Anxiety. What you most likely experienced was a panic attack.
The symptoms are all there. Feeling like you're losing control of your bodily functions, absolute fear, the hot and cold feeling, which is an inability to control your body temperature, the shaking, the chest pain, the feeling of impending doom.
Everything checks out. Talk to your PCP.
" He finished scribbling whatever it was he was writing down, then he ripped the paper off.
"I'm going to take this and give it to the nurse.
It's a prescription for a strong anti-anxiety medication.
It should tide you over until you can get in to see your regular doctor.
" He paused in the act of turning. Obviously, he had other patients to see.
"Do you have any questions?" The brisk way he said it, and the way he was already turning away from her, made her think twice about asking anything.
"So there's nothing wrong at all with me?"
"No." He lifted his shoulder. "I can't diagnose what's not there. I know you're convinced you're having a heart attack, but from what I can see, that's not something you're going to have to worry about this decade."
Well, that was a little bit reassuring, except... "So it was just anxiety?"
"Yes. Long periods of stress often cause a person to have what might have been termed a nervous breakdown in previous years.
It's a result of your nervous system being on high alert for far too long.
It basically crashes and goes haywire, and you feel like your whole body is out of whack. It's what we've termed a panic attack."
"So what do I do to avoid them?"
He gave her a little smile, even though he was obviously in a hurry. "That's what I'd like for you to talk to your PCP about. They'll be able to give you all the details. For now, put yourself under as little stress as possible. Rest, eat healthy, and follow up with your doctor."
He paused, but did not ask her if she had any more questions before he turned and strode out the door.
"This is just anxiety?" Sasha said from the other side of the room.
Grace wondered why she had let her in there in the first place.
She didn't need someone shoving her nose in the fact that she had canceled a sold-out concert that the president was attending in order to go to the hospital for a bad case of nerves.
She was a professional. She didn't have bad cases of nerves.
Except, apparently she did.
"I'm sorry. I know I let you down. And all the people who paid to get in."
"Yeah. I told them you were most likely having a heart attack and you had to cancel the concert. I'm not sure I could tell them you had stage fright. Is that what we're gonna call this?"
"I guess it doesn't really matter what we call it, does it?" It was just a matter of her being too much of a coward to go out on stage and perform like she had been doing since she was a child.
"Well, I've told the president that we've rescheduled, and perhaps he will be able to make your concert next week.
I suppose you're allowed to take one night off, although it would be nice if you didn't pick your sold-out concert, and the one where the president was attending.
The concert last week made you a household name, and every concert between now and Christmas is completely sold out.
You are going to do the concert next week, aren't you? "
Sasha must've finally noticed that she was being awfully quiet.
"I don't think I can," she said, and she didn't mean to sound fatalistic, but she could hear it in her voice.
She really didn't think that she could. Not at all, and she wasn't the kind of person who spoke the word “can't”.
She believed, truly believed, that anybody could do anything that they set their minds to, except she had not been able to go out on that stage earlier this evening, and the idea of going out on it again was terrifying.
She had no idea what she was going to do.