CHAPTER 10 - Bryan Trevor
Looking back on my life
You're the only good thing I ever did (ever did)
Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone
(Not anyone), it's not anyone
Anyone – Justin Bieber
The woman on the other side of the screen is named Harper.
She has short hair, big eyes, and the kind of gentle smile that should calm anyone—except someone like me. I’ve been restless, itching to throw myself into that nest of snakes ever since Noah sent me those messages.
I don’t know how I’ll manage to stay cautious and cold in this situation.
How I’ll manage to work in the shadows and be the Bryan Trevor who made a name for himself in security for never making mistakes and always acting with precision—because all I want is to storm that fortress, kill that bastard, and get both of them out of there.
But I can’t, and it’s consuming me!
“You’re doing better than most of my students in their first lesson,” Harper says, pulling my attention back. I nod silently, no reaction beyond the automatic movement of my head.
My eyes slide to the notebook spread open on the table, taking in the scribbled notes, the signs drawn with phrases beside them.
It had been a long time since I’d tried to learn something from scratch.
It had been even longer since someone gave me a reason to.
I spent almost two hours repeating the same movements with my fingers, and at several points, I could have sworn they were made of lead.
I made mistakes, repeated, made mistakes again. Harper corrected, encouraged, and in the end, I learned more than I ever expected when I asked my brother to find me a teacher.
She’s extremely professional, and even when I needed to turn off the camera to step out and smoke on the balcony, she understood and gave me the time I needed.
Our lesson was supposed to last only forty minutes, but I’m in a hurry to learn, in a hurry to understand more about Noah, so I bought the two hours a day she still had open.
We’ll see each other every day until I feel I no longer need her services or until what I want so badly finally happens.
Noah speaking again.
Her giving me the sweet sound of her voice.
The perfection of her laughter.
Every time I think of her, a flood of feelings washes over me.
Love, pain, passion, desperation, anxiety, hatred.
I can’t stand the idea of how she lives.
Of everything she’s already been through.
Of what she and Sadie would keep going through if I hadn’t decided to set foot in this place.
Thinking of the little one, I remember I need to sort out the teacher situation before Gavin finds someone else.
“See you tomorrow, Harper,” I say, pulling myself from my thoughts.
“I want you to practice today’s signs throughout the day, and everything we talked about in class,” she says, and I nod before ending the call.
The private email tab I use only with my brother is still open, covered with information.
Luke sent me everything he managed to gather in this first pass, and I spent the entire night buried in the reports, looking for gaps I haven’t found yet.
I knew it wouldn’t be an easy task, so I’m not frustrated about coming up empty—this is just the first search, the cleanest one, the one Gavin probably leaves in plain sight on purpose for anyone to access.
At least, the people he wants to access it.
Noah’s parents have grown even more influential in recent years.
Luke wasn’t joking when he warned they were careful with their data and that there’s probably a lot hidden under lock and key.
That kind of thing would discourage most people, but not me—I’m used to getting my hands dirty and digging deep until I pull out what I want.
When I entered Elliot Walton’s world, I understood that most of the time, being nice isn’t what gets you to the top.
That in the world we live in, you need to be smart and always stay one step ahead of your enemies.
He taught me a lot, showed me situations any ordinary man would run from—but I learned to stay.
I learned every lesson he taught me, and when I opened Prestige Shield, it was with the intention of becoming the best in security, in every way.
My goal was always to go beyond basic security, and in recent years, my brother and I have done everything we planned.
We went through hardships, but we brought down everyone who tried to sabotage us, played dirty to get what we wanted, and showed no mercy to anyone who tried to cross us.
I’m no longer the Bryan who left this city five years ago. I’m a far cry from that boy who believed a simple job could save him. The world is cruel, and everything I learned from it might end up being exactly what makes me lose Noah forever.
My shoulders carry burdens she might not be able to share.
My hands, blood I have no remorse for spilling.
And inside me burns an insane desire to destroy Gavin Black.
He may have a clean facade, but I’m sure behind it he’s dirtier than the sewage running past the trailers. I’ve worked with enough people like him to recognize the rot from a mile away.
And it’s exactly because I’m hardened that I know how to bring him down.
I turn my attention back to the screen, thinking about the countless contracts I've read.
They might seem trivial to someone who doesn't understand the business, but when you analyze them with a professional eye, you notice the distributor's growth over the past few years has been suspiciously rapid.
It's obvious that licenses were fast-tracked to speed things along.
There are countless million-dollar contracts with private clinics, hospital networks, and even the government.
Partnerships like these should take years to reach this level, but with DakMed Distribution, it all happened in a matter of months.
My gut screams that Gavin isn't just offering medications to this bunch of crooks, and I'm going to find out what else he's got that's gotten him so cozy with high society.
I close the laptop, pull up my phone, and dial her number, bringing it to my ear.
“I'm almost at the capital, Shadow,” Lauren says, using the nickname I'm known by in the security business. “Don't worry, I'll run into that disgusting old man and the job will be mine.”
“Call me as soon as you get it.” I hear her laugh in the background and the sound of a horn. “Girl, don't get yourself killed, or I'll drag you back from hell to finish what you started.”
“Have I ever let you down?” she snaps. “Go fuck yourself, you son of a bitch!” she shouts when I hear another horn. “I'll call you when I have news,” she says, and I hang up before she crashes the damn car.
I met Lauren at a club in Vegas.
I hadn't seen her since I disappeared without a trace.
But I recognized her the instant my eyes landed on her.
She tried to pretend she didn't remember me, and I know it was out of shame—after all, it was a strip club and she was one of the call girls there.
I couldn't stand the idea of her working there—not because I judge the profession, but because she didn't want to be there.
Lauren's always been sharp, so I didn't think twice before bringing her into my company. She accepted without hesitation and has been with me for over a year now.
When Noah mentioned the teacher, I immediately thought of her, because Lauren has always dreamed of teaching—she's even started working on her education degree. This job here in town will make her put her studies on hold, but it'll be for a good cause and a generous paycheck.
I get up from the chair and walk to the porch, pulling up my hood out of habit, even though there's no chance anyone can see me out here—the house is surrounded by nothing but forest. I don't know how Luke found this place, let alone how he managed to set it up for me to use, but at some point I'll try to find out.
As far as I know, he doesn't have contact with anyone from town either, just like me.
I light a cigarette and rest my foot on the worn chair beside me.
I inhale the nicotine and let it travel straight to my brain.
This shit's going to wreck my lungs, but it brings a damn good sense of relief that I need right now.
The air around me is humid and cold, and I want her with me—not in this isolated house, but in my life.
It's fucked up how much I want that girl.
How much my love for her has grown with every second over the past few years.
I've never tried to fool myself about what I feel, but there were times I wanted to rip her out of me by force—especially when I was drunk or trying to take some woman to bed.
But I wasn't even good for fucking!
I spent years believing she hated me, that she thought I was a murderer, and somehow that destroyed me inside.
It turned me into the cold, hollow man obsessed with work that I am today.
I love Noah like crazy, more than myself, but I've also hated her on so many days and nights because I could never rip her out of me.
She became a poison in my life.
One that slowly corroded me day by day.
One that seemed to want to kill me little by little.
And even when I tried with everything I had to escape this bubble where only she mattered, I couldn't.
Deep down, a part of me refused to give up.
A persistent voice kept telling me that, even after everything, I would find her again.
And even though I know I'm not the same as before—that today I'm a miserable bastard who doesn't deserve her—I won't give up on making her mine.
Fuck, there's no way I'm not going to have her, because I still want her like crazy.
I want every moment that was stolen from us.
Every fragment she insists on hiding.
I long to take care of her scars—not just the ones the world sees, but the ones she hides even from herself.
I'll show her how incredible it is to be free.
Make her feel the sun warming her skin on a hot day.
The delight of a rainy day by the fireplace.
I want her to discover new flavors, different cuisines, experiences she never imagined she'd have.
To dance even without music, laugh until her stomach hurts, and cry from happiness—never from fear.
I want to wake her up with breakfast in bed after spending all night worshiping her body.
I need to prove that, despite everything, we’re the only thing that makes sense in this fucked-up life of ours.
That even with my own demons, I’m the man she’ll never regret having by her side.
I’ll fight until my last breath to make sure she never has to face the world alone again.
Because at the end of the day, loving her isn’t weakness.
It’s the reason for all my strength.
The reason I could burn the whole world down!