CHAPTER 20 - Noah Black #3
Are you telling me that for the last five years, you recorded all your important decisions for me—even believing I didn't love you anymore—because you promised I would always be the first to know everything in your life?
I gesture, but since it's a long question, I start typing because I know he didn't understand.
I show him the screen and he nods quickly.
“Yes, Noah. And it's all saved in a file on my computer, ready for you to watch whenever you want.” He cups my face with an almost surreal gentleness for someone his size. “That's one promise I didn't break,” he murmurs, and I see how much he blames himself for everything.
Why did everything have to go so wrong?
I sign, my heart aching for everything we lost.
For everything we could have shared.
For our love that was torn apart in the cruelest, most brutal way imaginable.
He holds my gaze, bringing his fingers to my face, tracing my freckles.
The same ones I once hated but came to love when I learned that, after my eyes, they were his favorite thing about me.
“Because I had no idea how dirty Gavin was, but now I do. I know your father's type, and I have no doubt I'll be able to free you and Sadie from his clutches.” He releases my face, but his hand moves to the back of my neck, and I let him pull me onto his lap.
His scent intoxicates me immediately.
My body tingles from my fingertips to the last strand of my hair.
Blood rushes through my veins, reigniting every nerve ending.
Unlike the day at his house, there's no fear suffocating the desire now. I yearn for his touch, for his mouth that hovers dangerously close to mine.
My tongue wets my lips, and the gesture doesn't go unnoticed.
He lets out a low sound before capturing my gaze again.
There's a raw intensity that lays bare all the desire burning in his eyes.
“Can I kiss you, Butterfly?” he asks, so close I can feel the warmth of his words against my skin.
How much do you want this?
My gaze screams, and it's surreal that he can read my words.
That he still remembers this was the exact question I asked before our first kiss.
“More than anything. More than my life. I want to touch you more than I need to breathe.”
I nod slowly, giving him the permission he needs to close the distance.
His eyes seem to ignite as his pupils dilate.
Bryan brings our faces even closer, and before I can process it, his lips are already pressing against mine.
I feel like I've finally returned to paradise as his taste floods through me.
A tingling sensation snakes across my skin, spreading through every inch of me.
My heart races, and each beat is a cry of joy at being in his arms again, at him being alive, here, with me.
My mind drifts away and thoughts vanish as the sensation of being whole and safe washes over me.
Bryan worships my mouth.
He explores every inch, tugging gently at my lips in a slow torture that sends heat straight to my core.
His arms hold me tight as if he's afraid I'll disappear.
The kiss continues, but it's only when an involuntary moan escapes me that he loses the control he's been fighting to maintain.
His mouth shifts from worship to devouring.
Our tongues dance to a faster, hungrier rhythm.
Bryan steals my breath and every conscious thought as I try to match the rhythm he's setting.
My hands slip beneath his shirt, and the contact with his hot skin seems to ignite him even more.
He responds to my touch by pressing harder against the back of my neck while his free hand travels along the side of my body, squeezing just hard enough to make me shiver without making me fear he'll hurt me.
Our moans are swallowed together, and I feel his cock pressing against me.
Images of our nights together, of him inside me, flood my mind.
My pussy throbs like it hasn’t in ages, and all I want is to tear off our clothes and surrender to this desire consuming us.
“I waited so long for this. I longed for this so much that if I could, I’d never let go of your lips again,” he says, pulling back a few inches to let me breathe.
“But I know we need to stop,” he warns, his eyes on mine.
“Fuck, as much as I want to keep going, I know I can’t or I’ll end up hurting you.
” His chest rises and falls. “I don’t want to force you into something I know you’re not ready for,” he says, lifting me off his lap, and I sit beside him, my gaze never leaving his.
His piercing blue eyes burn into me, seeming to see every corner of my soul.
There’s something predatory flickering in his gaze.
A possessiveness that makes me tremble and, at the same time, wish he wouldn’t stop—that he’d make me his again.
My gaze drifts downward without my permission, and my heart races as I stare at his hardness straining against his jeans. It’s impossible to ignore the size of him, or how my body still remembers every sensation of having him inside me.
For a moment, I believe I can give myself to him completely.
But reality comes crashing back.
And as much as I want to try, he’s right.
I’m not ready.
I don’t know if I ever will be.
For now, his kisses have to be enough—along with losing myself in the memories of when we gave ourselves to each other.