CHAPTER 37 - Noah Black
So you brought out the best of me
A part of me I'd never seen
You took my soul and wiped it clean
Our love was made for movie screens
All I want – Kodaline
My eyes are fixed on the ceiling when I hear a car engine shut off. I sit up in bed automatically, adjusting to the darkness. My feet find the floor and I head toward the door, but before I reach it, his deep voice resonates through the walls and vibrates through every particle of my body.
The effect he has on me is surreal.
“Where are you going?” Bryan asks, and when I turn, he's got one eyebrow arched.
Sadie sleeps beside him, her little legs thrown over his thigh.
She's clutching her teddy bear and pink blanket.
I felt like an idiot when I realized that even in all the chaos, Bryan remembered to bring the two things she loves most.
“I think it's Tessa. I want to see her,” I reply, and he sits up, stretching.
When we got back from the pizzeria it was already past midnight, so everyone went off to sleep. Bryan, our butterfly, and I lay down together, and the little one fell asleep almost immediately, worn out from exhaustion and her usual early bedtime.
I, however, couldn't shut off my mind, and even with my body begging for rest, my thoughts wouldn't let up.
I've never truly tasted freedom, so when the house finally fell silent and I was alone with my anxieties, fears began to close in on me like shadows.
What will become of me now?
Where will I live?
How will I survive?
I don't want to be a burden to Bryan, and I won't be, but how can I help him if I have no idea who I am without my father's chains? I'm free, yet at the same time I feel imprisoned by an emptiness I don't know how to fill.
“I can hear your brain frying,” he murmurs, and his husky voice breaks the silence, bringing me back to the present. “Just like earlier, when you were lying down.”
“I thought you were sleeping,” I confess, biting my lip, as he moves to stand in front of me.
“Not with you so restless.” His eyes scan my face, trying to read every worry written there. “I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to pressure you this late.”
He reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, the touch firm yet delicate, leaving me even more vulnerable.
His breath is warm, and for an instant I think about how Bryan is the only safe place in the middle of everything that's happened.
The only place I want to stay!
“Let's go see Tessa and then we'll talk,” I manage to say, even with my voice faltering.
He stares at me for a moment, as if wanting to protest, but just nods and grabs the shirt thrown on the chair beside him, putting it on quickly without taking his eyes off me.
We leave the room and the silence of early morning greets us. We walk to the front door, and when we step outside, I see my friend embracing her mother.
Her eyes find me immediately and a smile spreads across her face.
Tessa has barely changed at all!
She still has the same long black hair, the same dark clothes as always, but with the addition of an overcoat. Her tough-girl stance and that look of someone who doesn't give a damn about anyone's opinion seem even more pronounced.
The only noticeable difference is that now her arms are covered in tattoos she didn't have before, but they only reinforce the strong, impossible-to-ignore personality she's always had.
“Is there room for me in that hug?” I ask, and her eyes seem to double in size.
I laugh.
“My God… you're talking again!” she exclaims, her voice choked with emotion, while Greta steps aside to give us space.
“Yeah… Bryan was about to take a bullet and I had to scream,” I say, running toward her, and she does the same. “Had to claim my role as the hero of this story.”
“Silly…” she responds, squeezing me. “I missed you so much!”
“You got all high and mighty after joining the police and ended up forgetting about your friends,” I tease, and she pulls back just to examine me from head to toe. “I'm fine, I promise.”
“Tell me everything that happened. Don't hide anything.”
“You're in the right profession,” I mock, and she lets out a laugh. “Remember him?”
“And who forgets a Trevor?” she mutters quietly, but I hear it. “Hi, Bryan,” she greets as he approaches.
“Hi, Tessa, how are you?”
“With a lot of work to sort out,” she responds, pulling me closer by the shoulder. “You weren't this big,” she mocks.
“I grew a bit over the years,” he replies, and she lets out a laugh. “Lu…”
“So, my mom said you're not at the mansion anymore,” she cuts in as soon as she notices the mention of my brother-in-law, her tone turning harsher. “And I found a disfigured body earlier that's identical to Sarah Black's.”
“What about what was on the cross—is any of it left?” Bryan asks, lighting a cigarette. I shoot him a look.
I hate that habit!
“What do you guys have to do with the fire at that place?” she asks, furrowing her brow. “I need information.”
“Let’s go inside…” Bryan says, and we all follow him.
We spend the next few minutes gathered in the living room, recounting every detail of the last month to Tessa. We tell her everything we discovered, and I feel nauseated when Bryan reveals what he found on Gavin’s laptop.
My friend listens intently, and when we finish, she has a dossier in hand, enough hatred to bring down every member of the Primordial House, and strategies to make sure none of that hellfire touches us—touches Bryan.
“I need to tell you something.” My hands are trembling, and Bryan slides his hand across my back.
“There’s more?” Tessa asks, surprised.
“The little one… She’s not my sister, she’s my daughter,” I blurt out, and her eyes go wide.
First comes disbelief, then something much deeper. I watch the pieces fall into place for her: the time I spent at the clinic, my silence when I came back, the empty stares, the fear of them hurting Sadie.
“My God, Noah, you went through all that alone, locked inside a psychiatric clinic?” Her eyes glisten with empathy.
“You still haven’t told me what happened after your father’s henchmen found me,” Bryan cuts in, his voice hard, and I force a smile.
“A few hours after you left me at the warehouse, Gavin showed up.” I close my eyes and can still feel that bastard’s gaze on me.
“He was furious because Joshua had died and said he’d take me home, but I refused.
I told him I was leaving with you.” His laughter that night seems to cut me in half.
“That’s when he showed me pictures of you, beaten up, and said you were already dead.
” I look at the love of my life, remembering the pain I felt so clearly.
“I fell apart, but I didn’t have the strength to fight or run on my own, so when he grabbed me and shoved me in the car, I just… let him take me.”
“Son of a bitch!”
Bryan and Tessa growl at the same time.
“When I got home, he beat me.” My voice comes out broken—it’s impossible not to feel the pain with these memories.
“The next day, it was Sarah.” I can feel Bryan growing even more tense, his hands clenching into fists.
“A few days later, I started feeling sick. I thought it was just stress, but one day, when I walked into the dining room, I got nauseous just from the smell of the food.”
“I remember that day,” Greta says, head bowed. “I said I’d take care of you, that it was probably just an upset stomach, but Sarah was always clever.”
“She bought a test and forced me to take it,” I continue, hating to remember. “When it came back positive, she immediately called Gavin, and the two of them forced me to confirm that I’d slept with you,” I say, looking at him. He grits his teeth in anger. “The next day, they took me to the clinic.”
“You were gone for almost a year,” Greta murmurs.
“My life was just sleeping, waking, and hallucinating, but the day they ran a test and found out it was Bryan’s, I got beaten so badly I thought I’d lose the baby. Actually, I think the only reason I didn’t die was because Sarah stepped in and told Gavin he still had a chance to make it work.”
“How did they know it was Bryan’s if they didn’t have his DNA?” Tessa exclaims.
“Joshua didn’t have time to finish what he started on my birthday because Bryan stopped him,” I answer, lowering my head. I see Bryan stand up. “The only ones who had touched me were the two of them, so if it wasn’t my uncle’s…”
“I want to kill them again,” Bryan interrupts, lighting another cigarette, trying to calm himself. “I want to tear them both apart.”
“I didn’t understand what they wanted until the day I gave birth,” I continue, unable to contain my emotions. “As soon as Sadie was born, Sarah took her and called her her daughter. I screamed that she was mine, but the bitch just smiled and walked out, leaving me alone with Gavin.”
“You don’t have to tell every detail if it hurts you, my love,” Bryan says, sitting back down beside me, crushing out the barely smoked cigarette.
“I need to free myself from that day too.” He nods, pulling me close, letting my face rest against his arm.
“When Sarah left, Gavin came over and said our girl was their daughter, that I should never tell anyone otherwise or he’d kill me.
” I pause for a few seconds, trying not to break down.
“Then he kissed me and said every word that came out of my mouth would be turned into pain for Sadie.”
The memory sends a shiver straight down my spine. I instinctively wipe my lips as nausea washes over me, but I fight it back, reminding myself it’s over, it’s in the past, and he’ll never be able to touch me again.
“That’s why you stopped talking,” Bryan says softly, stroking my hair.
I let out a sob.
“Yes… I was already completely destroyed after spending months in that place and believing you were dead,” I confess, trying to release all the anguish from my chest. “I couldn’t risk losing her too, so I did what I had to do.”