Chapter 20 The Vow
THE VOW
CALISTA
Ishouldn’t believe him when he says he’ll give it all up. I know that.
Deep down, somewhere past the longing and the fear and the quiet ache, he carved into me—I know he is who he is, and he may not be able to change, even if he wants to.
But I can’t care.
Because sometimes survival isn’t about walking away, it’s about choosing to stay.
It’s about daring to love. Daring to hope that it won’t destroy you.
“I thought you weren’t coming back.” He kisses me softly.
“I thought that, too,” I confess.
His eyes—dark, predatory, yet impossibly soft—lock onto mine as he looks at me as if I am the most precious thing in the world.
“Thank you for coming back.”
There’s no need for more words. I take his hand, and we walk to his bedroom.
His black T-shirt clings to his chest, muscles rippling beneath the fabric, and I can’t help but notice the way his dark jeans hug his thighs, tight enough to outline the heavy bulge that’s already straining against the zipper.
My heart hammers in my chest as he reaches for me, his fingers brushing against my cheek.
“Calista,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough, like gravel dragged over silk. “You’re trembling.”
I am. I can’t help it.
My breath is coming in shallow gasps.
I am standing on the precipice of something I’ve only ever dreamed about.
His hand slides down to my neck, thumb brushing over my pulse point.
I feel the heat of his touch all the way down to my core. I’m already wet, my panties soaked through, sticking to me like a second skin.
“I love you,” he whispers, his breath hot against my ear.
I shudder at his words. Honest. Real.
I do not doubt that he loves me. This kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime. I instinctively know this. I can’t lose it. Can’t lose this feeling of freedom that comes with being attached to him.
Kindred spirits!
Lucian slides his hands over my shoulders, down my arms, pulling me closer until our bodies are pressed together.
I can feel the hard ridge of his erection against my stomach, and the ache between my legs intensifies into a needy throb.
His mouth finds mine, and the kiss is hungry, desperate, his tongue claiming me with ferocity.
“Caro,” I gasp, a plea, a prayer.
He growls, low and primal. Suddenly, he lifts me, and lays me down gently on his bed.
His hands roam over my body, stripping me slowly, painstakingly, like he’s unwrapping a gift.
My shirt goes first. My bra follows.
His mouth is on my breasts, his tongue flicking over my nipples.
They harden. The sensation is glorious.
He pinches a nipple as he watches me. I arch into his touch.
My back bows off the bed as he sucks one into his mouth, teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking perfect.”
His fingers hook into the waistband of my panties. He pulls them down in one swift motion, tossing them aside. He kneels between my legs, his eyes drinking in the sight of me spread open for him.
I whimper when his fingers brush over my slit, spreading my folds, teasing my clit. He pushes a finger inside me. I cry out, my body clenching around him.
“Shh, baby,” he soothes, his voice rough with need. “I’ve got you.”
He adds a second finger, stretching me gently, his thumb circling my clit in slow, deliberate strokes that have me writhing beneath him.
He curls his fingers inside me, rubbing against my G-spot. He holds me in place by my pussy. It’s erotic. Deafeningly pleasurable.
He moves down my body, and his mouth finds my core. He laps. Sucks. Circles. I grip his hair and push toward him. Into him.
I’m whimpering now. I can’t stop. Can’t stop the way he makes me feel. Can’t stop the tortuous tightening building inside me. Pulling. Pulling. Pulling.
He eats me.
My thighs tremble. My insides clench. “Caro, I’m so close.”
He flattens his tongue against my clit, his fingers pumping in and out, making me dizzy.
My orgasm crashes over me like a tsunami. I scream his name, my back arching off the bed as pleasure consumes me.
He licks the orgasm out of me, holding me still, hard, against him as he drinks me up.
I watch through hazy eyes. I’m catching my breath. The world has gone golden around me.
He takes his shirt off, and I hiss, an involuntary sound that slips out before I can stop it.
There’s a fresh bandage wrapped around his ribs, the edges already stained with blood.
Bruises bloom across his torso, dark and ugly, like someone tried to break him open and almost succeeded.
A long, angry gash slices along his side, the stitches rough and raw, like they were done by someone who didn’t have time for precision—only survival.
I cover my mouth with my hand. Not to muffle a scream but to stop myself from reaching out and hurting him worse by touching the wrong place.
“What happened to you?” I whisper, even though I already know.
“Flesh wounds, baby.”
“This is because you went after Remo.”
He shrugs, like it’s nothing. Like bleeding for me is just part of the cost. Like he didn’t walk into a warzone for me. Like he didn’t risk his life to keep me breathing.
Tears prick at the backs of my eyes, hot and helpless. I blink them away.
I won’t cry. Not now. I have to be brave when he’s standing there, battered but alive, still looking at me like I’m a fragile thing.
“You idiot,” I breathe. “You beautiful, reckless idiot.”
“I’d do it again. A thousand times,” he quips. “But, baby, right now, I need inside of you.”
He strips off the rest of his clothes with quick, efficient movements, revealing a body that’s pure sin. His cock is thick, heavy, and the tip is already glistening with precum.
I lick my lips. I want to taste him.
“Next time,” he promises, his eyes locking onto mine.
“This time,” I insist and then add, “Please.”
I go on my knees at the edge of the bed. He steps up to me. I lean in, kiss the tip, and lick the precum.
His hands dive into my hair, and the pain when he tugs is magic.
I hold his cock with both hands. It’s hot. Satin. Silk. Steel. Thick. Long. Hard.
“Eyes on me.”
I look up at him, his erection close to my lips. I can smell his arousal. It’s erotic.
I open my mouth, and he pushes forward. My lips close around his cock, and I taste. His hand on my hair controls my movements.
“I’m not coming in your mouth this first time,” he grinds out.
I cup his tight buttocks; they’re tense, muscles upon muscles.
“I need….” He pushes in and then out. “Tap my ass if it’s too much.”
I wish I could tell him he could never be too much. That this is what I’ve always wanted; always wanted him, even before I knew him.
It would never have been a nice man in a suit—the day Lucian—that I’d crave. I know that now. Growing up in the shadows has changed my DNA—coded me to love a man like Lucian.
I have no regrets. He’s everything.
He drags my mouth onto his dick as he pushes his hips forward. There’s a rhythm to it that allows me to open my mouth wider, letting him sink in deeper.
I gag the first time he hits the back of my throat. He doesn’t stop. Just growls, “You want me to stop?”
I shake my head, holding him tighter.
He pulls out, and I chase him with my tongue. He laughs. “I want inside you.”
He pushes me onto my back and crawls up my body.
I feel like this is a dream. It has to be. Nothing has ever felt this good in real life. Nothing.
He lines himself up with my entrance. “This might hurt,” he warns.
I nod, biting my lip as he pushes inside me slowly, so fucking slowly, stretching me open in ways I’ve never imagined.
“Be careful with your bandage,” I tell him. I don’t want him to hurt.
He kisses me.
The pain is not sharp but a dull ache, a feeling of fullness that has me writhing. He’s big and he stretches me in a way that makes me wetter.
He bottoms out, his hips flush against mine, and for a moment we just stay like that, our bodies joined in the most intimate way possible.
“You’re my home,” he tells me, our eyes locked.
He starts slow, dragging his cock out and then pushing it back in. His thrusts are slow, deep, and deliberate, each one hitting a spot inside me that makes my toes curl.
But as the pleasure builds, so does his pace, until he’s pumping hard and fast, his cock slamming into me with a force that is pain and pleasure.
My vision is blurring again. Then his hand reaches between our bodies, sliding down between my thighs. He readjusts so he can go deeper.
I can’t stand this. It’s too hot. Too deep. Too…much.
His fingers rub my clit. I squeeze my eyes shut. He stills.
“Eyes on me,” he orders again.
I let out a mewl as I open my eyes. I’m feeling so much. Everything.
“Like that. Let me see.”
He rubs faster, harder, and then—
“Lucian!” I scream as the orgasm he’s been coaxing tears through me, my body convulsing around him.
He growls, his hips stuttering as he follows me over the edge, his cock pulsing inside me as he fills me with his cum.
We collapse together in a heap of limbs, our breaths coming in ragged gasps. He pulls me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“Mine,” he murmurs against my skin.
“Yours,” I agree.
We lie entangled in the sheets, skin warm against skin, hearts still racing.
Lucian’s fingers trace my spine like he’s memorizing it, committing every inch of me to memory in case this is a dream.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
“Complete,” I tell him.