35. Aeris
Aeris
As soon as we were out of the main floor, I snapped my arm out of my father’s grip, forcing him to turn.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hissed, keeping my voice as low as possible while panic tightened my lungs. “You have no idea the danger you’ve just put me in.”
Tristan’s jaw clenched, his shoulders rigid. “Blackmailing detectives, being associated with people like Sebastian Devereaux and Caden Ackworth … What do you think you’re doing?”
I went to move past him, but he blocked my path. “Move.”
“Aeris, Detective Kane’s gone missing.”
I blinked up at him. Holy shit.
“Do you understand what I’m saying? I don’t want to believe you had anything to do with it, but you need to stay away from these people. They’re dangerous. You have no idea what they’re capable of.”
“And you have no idea what I’m capable of.”
The muscle in his cheek twitched. “You’re still my daughter. I care—”
“Don’t,” I snapped, my anger so visceral it felt as though I might breathe fire.
But I didn’t let it show, keeping myself composed, because I would not show him my pain.
Would not break in front of him again. “Don’t you dare say it.
You weren’t there for me. And you sure as hell weren’t there for Mira. ”
His face revealed nothing, and it hurt to see him so composed.
“You have no right to call yourself my father,” I continued, forcing myself not to tremble.
“Do you know what they did? They sold her, Tristan. Like livestock. Passed her around until she was so fucking broken she couldn’t even fight anymore.
And you”—I jabbed a finger into his chest, tears burning hot behind my eyes, ones I refused to let fall—“chose your precious case over your own daughters.”
“It wasn’t that simple.”
“It was exactly that simple!” My voice rose before I could stop it. “One fucking case. All you had to do was drop it and let Blackwater go free. But justice was always more important than us, wasn’t it?”
“I didn’t kill her,” he whispered, voice hoarse.
You’re going to run, and you’re not going to look back.
“No, you just signed her death warrant,” I snapped, realising a second too late what I’d just said. “I didn’t mean that … She’s not dead,” I whispered, shaking my head even as those words were starting to become harder to say. More real.
“Aeris …”
“No.” I refused to believe it, because if she was, everything I’d done would have been for nothing. “She’s not dead. She’s out there somewhere, waiting for us.”
“Aeris …”
“God, you don’t get it, do you?” My laugh was bitter, manic. “Do you know they got her so addicted she’d do anything for the next hit? And when they got bored … they simply just tossed her aside like she was nothing.”
He reached for me, but I jerked back violently. “Aeris, please—”
“I asked you for help,” I choked out. “I begged you, Dad. And you pretended she didn’t exist.”
He flinched like I’d slapped him.
“But she did exist,” I continued, having to get the words out before they consumed me. “She was hurt, and needed—”
“She was already gone, Aeris.”
“She needed rehab, therapy. She needed a father that gave a shit about her. She needed—”
“Aeris …”
“Help!” I screamed, the anger finally breaking through. Tearing my heart out after all these years. “She needed help!”
“She didn’t want it!” Tristan’s nostrils flared with his outburst, his skin flushing red as he waited for the man who’d come out of the bathroom to return to the restaurant.
“She didn’t want help, Aeris,” he repeated, quieter, more composed like we weren’t talking about his own child.
“I tried, I did, but she ran away, and I couldn’t stop her.
I looked for years, but she didn’t want to be found. ”
I swallowed, my lungs feeling like they were filling with cement. “You didn’t try hard enough.”
“And then when I did, it was too late.” His voice quivered. “Aeris, the drugs killed her. Not me.”
“She’s not dead,” I snapped, but, again, the words were starting to feel hollow, like they were a lie I was still telling myself. “They’ve never found her body, so she’s not dead. She can’t be.”
Tristan dragged a hand down his face, the gesture uncharacteristically strained. “Aeris, she’s gone. I can’t change that. But please, let me—”
“Let you what? Help?” I smiled. I knew it looked unhinged, but I didn’t care. “You can’t help. I’m here because of you.” My voice was cold, void of any emotion. “You really think Selene would let me go?”
This time I took the step forward, closing the space between us.
“Do you know what she did? Do you know what I’ve had to do to survive? To not end up like Mira?”
Tristan looked away, his jaw clenched. But I saw the look in his eyes. The anger. The pain. The fucking guilt.
He knew. He knew I’d been raped. That it had been recorded and …
A chill vaulted through my stomach, and fresh tears burned my eyes.
“I’ve just realised it was around the same time.” I forced my voice to remain calm, even when Tristan returned his gaze to mine. “I thought she was punishing me, but she wasn’t, was she? She was punishing you.”
The corridor felt too small, the air too thick. My chest heaved as the years of rage and grief tore through me.
“Aeris … please.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t put the two together.” I was breathing heavily, my arms shaking as I rushed to say the words. For him to fucking hear it. “Hours after John Blackwater was found dead in his cell, hours after you refused a re-trial, I was gang raped.”
Tristan stilled, the colour leaving his cheeks.
“Repeatedly, for hours, by so many men I lost count. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
“Please, Aeris.” I’d never heard my father sound so broken. “Let me help.”
“I was fifteen!” I snapped. “Where were you then? Where were you when I actually needed a father to come save me?”
“I warned you!” he cried, his eyes red rimmed. “I warned you about Luke. I tried, but each time I reached out you’d distance yourself and—”
“I was a child!” I cried. “Mira had been missing for almost two years. I’d lost my sister, and you just … disappeared.”
“I was always there, Aeris. I was—”
“No.” I cut him off. “You weren’t.”
My chest was tight as I looked up at the man that failed my sister. Failed me.
“My sister, your daughter, went missing,” I whispered, tears finally spilling down my cheeks. “And you … you just kept living as if she didn’t matter.”