38. Aeris
Aeris
The vomit burned, so forceful I closed my eyes and prayed it would only be the once, and I wouldn’t be spending the next few hours hugging porcelain with Anton’s snores vibrating through the wall.
There was definitely something wrong with me.
No sane person felt nothing when she took a life but puked every time she was told to screw someone.
Anton hadn’t even been a bad guy. He was friendly, somewhat charming, and smelt nice.
Out of the many men I’d been forced to fuck, he was at least in the top five.
But still, every time I performed, I felt … hollow. Like they took something from me I wasn’t willing to give. Until I was nothing but this empty shell.
My stomach rolled, and I pressed my forehead to the cold toilet until it passed.
I was grateful Anton climaxed in my mouth, because my pussy ached. I was pretty sure Caden had bruised my cervix.
Prick, I thought, debating whether I’d be able to shove something up his arse just so he felt what I had. Maybe a bat or something equally as girthy …
I was delusional, but not that delusional. I knew I’d never be able to pin him long enough, but a girl could dream.
Maybe if I asked nicely, he’d let me peg him.
My nausea passed, and I sat back and hugged my knees to my chest.
I was going to kill him.
Condoms weren’t negotiable. Ever. The only times I’d ever been without one was when the men I was told to seduce took me by force.
The ones who got off on finishing inside me because I’d begged them not to.
Those were the moments that left me the numbest, emptier than when I had to fake pleasure for the worst kind of monsters, emptier than when they broke my bones just to hear me scream.
Because at least the pain reminded me I was still alive.
This … this made me feel like I was nothing at all.
After nights with men like those, I’d always drag myself to my private doctor and get her to run every test possible before making sure my birth control was up to date. But with Caden, I hadn’t even thought about protection. I’d been too lost in the moment, too consumed by him to care.
And the most fucked-up part was I hadn’t felt that same hollow numbness I usually did.
When I realised he’d fucked me bare, when I felt him come deep inside me, all I felt was this dark, possessive thrill that made my thighs press together.
There was no emptiness, not even any disgust, just raw, terrifying want.
Why the fuck did the only man to ever truly turn me on have to be him?
A heavy vibration, and, lifting my head, I stared at my phone balanced on the sink.
Standing, I made sure I wasn’t going to vomit again before glancing in the mirror.
My eyes looked tired, the circles beneath dark.
My skin was even paler than usual, bringing out the thin, red line down my throat where the blade had kissed me.
Vivienne:
The date went well ;)
She’d sent a picture of her lying across a wide chest, cheek pressed to familiar tattoos that hit me like a knife to the gut. It was stupid, because I knew there was a possibility she and Caden were going to end up in bed together. I was the one that had given her the powdered natural aphrodisiacs.
Vivienne:
Told you he’d prefer me in the end.
I swallowed the sharp, bitter sting of jealousy. The emotion was visceral and entirely unwanted.
I hated it. I hated him for making me feel it.
Caden wasn’t mine. He was just a pawn in the game. One I planned to win.
My phone rang, and I answered it before it had a chance to wake Anton.
“What?” I hissed, keeping my voice low.
I peeked around the corner, checking Anton was still lying on his back, one arm draped across his eyes, breathing slow and heavy in the dark.
“I think I’ve given him too much,” Vivienne said with an annoyed sound. “He won’t wake up.”
My stomach dropped. “You can’t give him too much, it’s formulated with—”
“No, I didn’t use your stupid vial,” she snapped. “I gave him something else.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “Then what the fuck did you give him?”
“The guy I bought it from said it was safe. That it would make him super horny and … cooperative. Like he was in a dream or something.”
Oh God.
“Vivienne, what did you give him?”
“He’s not moving, Aeris. He’s just … lying there.”
Panic exploded in my chest like shattered glass. I didn’t care about waking Anton up, scrambling for my clothes as my hands shook so badly I nearly dropped the phone twice.
“Where are you?” I demanded, yanking my dress over my head as I bolted for the door. I ran down the hallway, barefoot, pulse roaring in my ears. “Is he breathing?”
“Ugh, I’ll just send you the pin.”
I knocked on the hotel door like a scorned wife, making enough noise to wake the dead.
Vivienne yanked the door open with an irritated scowl. “Jesus, calm down. He’s just asleep.”
I shoved past her, finding Caden sprawled on the bed, completely unconscious. His shirt lay discarded on the floor, jeans shoved halfway down his muscular thighs. He wasn’t wearing underwear, but that wasn’t what made my stomach plummet.
It was his skin. He looked deathly pale, almost grey while his chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths.
Ice flooded my veins as pure terror seized me.
Oh God. No. No, no, no.
My legs moved on instinct, and I dropped to my knees beside the bed, hands shaking as I pressed my fingers to his neck, desperately searching for his pulse.
It was weak, but there.
“I don’t know if I should be glad he passed out … I don’t think I could take all of that thing,” she giggled. “He’d rip me in half.”
My hands trembled as I brushed damp hair off his forehead. He felt clammy. Too cold. The strong, dangerous man who’d fucked me against a bathroom sink only a few hours ago now looked terrifyingly fragile.
“Vivienne,” I choked out. “What the fuck did you give him?”
“It’s just GHB. It must have mixed weird with the wine.”
I shot her a glare before my eyes landed on the table behind her where a small empty bottle lay discarded on its side. Beside it were a packet of white pills, as well as evidence of cocaine.
“How long ago did you give it to him?” I asked, my voice strained.
A shrug. “A few hours? My dealer said—ouch! Hey, what the fuck?”
I’d already thrown my car keys at her chest.
“Take my car and leave.”
Vivienne’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t go to all this trouble to leave before he wakes up next to me. Even if we didn’t fuck, he needs to think we did.”
My hands were shaking as I gently rolled Caden onto his side. “He might OD, Vivienne. Do you really want to be here when that happens?”
She scoffed. “This is ridiculous. He’s just high. He’ll sleep it off and hopefully wake up horny.”
“Leave,” I snapped, fear sharpening into something feral, “or I’ll call Selene right now and tell her exactly how you fucked this up. How you partied too hard and now everything’s fucking ruined.”
Vivienne’s expression shifted. The pouty, spoiled princess mask slipped, revealing the cold, calculating woman underneath. Her lips curved into a slow, dangerous smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“You’re really going to threaten me?” she murmured, voice silky and venomous.
“Go,” I warned.
Vivienne’s grin widened, slow and delighted, like she’d just discovered a delicious secret. “Holy shit,” she gasped, almost laughing. “You actually care about him. The holier-than-thou whore falling for the big, bad drug lord?”
She let out a mocking laugh, eyes gleaming with cruel amusement.
“That’s almost pathetic enough to be cute.”
“Get the fuck out, Vivienne. Now.”
She held my gaze for another long, taunting second before finally letting out another soft, mocking laugh. “Fine. But this is going to be so much fun.”
She snatched my keys off the floor and sauntered towards the door, pausing with her hand on the handle. Glancing back at me over her shoulder.
“Remember, he’s mine. Act on those feelings, and I’ll make sure I cut out the baby’s tongue first.”
Something dark and volatile burned in the pit of my stomach, but I didn’t act.
Letting her shoot me a kiss before slamming the door behind her.
I wasted no time, making sure Caden was still breathing before searching for his phone.
Finding it still in his pocket … beside a green glass pebble. Why did Caden have a mermaid’s tear?
“Cade?” came Sebastian’s deep tone.
“It’s Aeris,” I quickly said, a dangerous panic bleeding into my voice. “Caden needs help.”