53. Aeris
Aeris
Wrapping my arms tighter around my legs, I silently watched Caden move around the bathroom.
He hadn’t put on a shirt since he’d wrapped me in his, and I counted eight stitches, the slice down his side deeper than mine. “That’s going to scar,” I commented when he came to kneel beside me, this time holding a shampoo bottle.
“I have plenty of those,” he commented, gently lathering shampoo through my hair. I let him, not sure how to feel. I didn’t know if I should cry or laugh, whether sleeping for the next year would be an acceptable response to what had happened or if I should just suck it up and carry on.
Because that was what I usually did when something shit happened.
I remained silent as Caden continued to stoke through my hair, as if meticulously cleaning every strand. This close, I could see the faint silver scars scattered across his chest and shoulders, old, faded marks that were almost invisible from a distance.
“What happened?” I asked after a moment, deciding I didn’t want silence. Didn’t want to get lost in my head, in memories I’d rather carve out of my brain with a knife. “To you, I mean. The scars.”
Caden’s hands paused for the briefest second before continuing their slow, soothing rhythm. He didn’t answer right away, focusing instead on rinsing the shampoo from my hair with careful pours of warm water.
“I got into a lot of fights as a kid. Acting out, I guess.”
“Because of your mum?” I asked, wanting to know more about him for purely selfish reasons.
Then I realised how it must have sounded like I was digging for weaknesses, for secrets I could later use against him.
His life stories. The things that made him him.
“It’s fine,” I added quickly, “you don’t have to tell me. ”
“Sometimes, I guess. I don’t know.” He shrugged.
“I had all this anger I didn’t know how to deal with.
At my mum when she left, and then at my dad, because for a long time I blamed him for not being able to make her happy.
” Despite the anger he spoke of, his deep voice was strangely calming, a rough, steady rumble that cut through the chaos in my head.
“I turned that anger into violence, because that was something I could control. I’d get into fights, and because I was the biggest kid I always won. Eventually some prats brought knives. After I put someone in hospital, my father wanted to send me to a boarding school.”
I couldn’t really imagine Caden as a kid, his expression sad. Lost. “I assume that went down well?”
Caden let out a puff of air that must have been a laugh. “He would never have suggested it if Mum were still around, but she wasn’t, so I called my aunt. Dad quickly changed his mind when she shouted at him, threatening to come over from France if he dared send me away.”
“Sebastian’s mum?”
He nodded, working conditioner through my hair next, his fingers massaging my scalp in firm, relaxing circles. It felt too good, but too intimate. And yet I leaned into his touch.
“Then when she died,” he continued softly, “and Sebastian came to live with us, I just … calmed down.”
I smiled despite myself. “I find it hard to believe that Sebastian coming to live with you stopped you from getting into fights.”
“Oh, we still got into fights.” This time he did laugh, although it held an edge. “But it was different. This was after the incident where both he and Langdon were badly hurt. Lang became too impulsive, Sebastian too volatile, and I …”
“You became their anchor,” I whispered, and Caden stopped washing my hair to look at me. “You took care of them.”
He hummed in quiet agreement, his fingers returning to my scalp with renewed gentleness.
“It calmed the worst of my violence. And while fighting helped pull Sebastian out of his episodes, I realised that staying calm kept them both centred. Someone had to be the one who didn’t break when everything went to shit. ”
“That’s why Langdon came to you the other night.”
“Nah.” He grinned, those eyes of ice glistening enough to make my heart squeeze. “He just enjoys being a pain in my arse.”
I smiled. “Do you miss her? Your mum.”
Caden seemed to think for a moment. “I did, when I was younger.”
“But not now?”
“Why miss someone who didn’t want me?” he said gently, and my heart felt like it might shatter. “Dad used to try and tell me it was her illness, that it wasn’t her fault. But I know her illness didn’t define her … It wasn’t the reason she didn’t stay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s her loss, not mine. Who wouldn’t want an immeasurably successful drug lord as a son?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “What made you guys choose cocaine?” I asked, aching to learn more about him. To see the real man and not the terrifying enforcer.
“Because there was a gap in the market for a sustainable, high-end drug,” he said, carefully washing the conditioner from my hair. “So I went to night school.”
“Night school? I suppose it is less befitting to learn the art of narcotics in the harsh light of day.” I teased, and Caden gently tugged my hair.
“During the day,” he continued with a touch of humour, “I’d help Bas with the fights, and then in the evenings I’d go to school to learn organic chemistry.”
“Where were Sebastian and Langdon when you were being a good boy and getting your degree?”
“Probably up to no good.”
I laughed, the sound causing Caden to smile. He looked exactly like the prince I mockingly call him, his dark hair falling messily over his forehead and that rare, devastating dimple on full display that sent heat curling low in my stomach.
Reaching up, I cupped his jaw with gentle fingers and leaned forward to brush my lips softly against his.
“Thank you,” I whispered against his mouth, my words barely audible. “For coming for me.”
The air thickened, the tension swarming with something deeper than lust. That was it, a barely-there kiss that felt almost reverent. It felt more intimate than anything I had ever done with anyone. More than our hungry, desperate kisses. More than the raw, consuming sex we’d shared.
It just felt … real.
“Anytime, Tempest.”
Covered by one of Caden’s T-shirts, I followed the distant sound of the piano.
He’d left me to rest in his bed, but all I’d done was stare at the ceiling.
I couldn’t sleep, not when my mind refused to quiet.
Even here, after the first genuine sense of safety I’d felt in years, I still found myself planning a way out, calculating how quickly I could manipulate him if things went wrong.
It was instinct at this point, survival stitched so deeply into me that I didn’t know how to exist without it. Trust wasn’t something I really understood, especially from a man I’d blackmailed and had every intention of poisoning to literal death.
The music drifted through the dark in slow notes, and I followed it barefoot down the hallway, the hem of his T-shirt brushing against my thighs.
I found Caden sat at his piano, with nothing but the city lights through the window illuminating his silhouette.
He was still shirtless, the muscles in his back moving as his fingers brushed over the keys.
His head was dipped, as if lost in whatever melody he was playing.
The puppy was sitting by his feet, looking up with his tail wagging excitedly. Already in love.
Caden really needs to name him.
“His mother taught him how to play,” came a voice to my right, and I jumped, pressing my back against the walls as Alexander came into view. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
It took a second for my heart to calm down, and then I stood taller, pushing my damp hair that was beginning to curl over my shoulder. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I was getting a glass of water.” He gestured to the glass in his hand and looked back at his son.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, hoping my tone wasn’t as aggressive as it felt.
“Selene.” Alexander side-eyed me, the hostility rolling off him in waves. Clearly I wasn’t hiding my distaste at his presence very well. Never mind.
“She doesn’t look like a good business partner now, does she?”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” he replied with a sigh, finally turning to face me fully.
A quiet laugh escaped me. “Let’s not start measuring intelligence. I don’t think either of us walks away from that conversation feeling particularly good about ourselves.”
“What do you want me to say, Aeris? That I’m sorry?” His jaw tightened. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what happened to you,” he continued. “I’m sorry for what happened to your sister. It was never intentional, but it’s in the past, and nothing I can do or say will change that.”
“Would you have still agreed to help Selene if you knew?”
His eyes met mine, a muscle feathering in his jaw before he returned his attention to his son, who continued to fill the room with gentle notes. “Did you know Caden would play most nights when he was small? Thinking the music would bring Ruth home.”
I frowned up at him.
“It was … hard. For us both when she wasn’t medicated. She was in this vicious cycle I didn’t know how to break.”
“Alexander …”
“This isn’t an excuse, just an explanation,” he said, turning back to me. “So you can understand why.”
“It won’t make me hate you any less.”
“Probably not,” he said, looking older. Tired. “But you deserve to know that it wasn’t a decision I took maliciously. You just happened to be collateral damage.”
“I thought you were trying to apologise?” I bit out.
Alexander pursed his lips but continued with surprising civility.
“I needed the money. A connection to other people within the Underworld so I could start my company and scrape back every penny my father threw away selfishly. I needed to hire someone to find Ruth when she disappeared yet again, and I was just—”
“Overwhelmed.”
He swallowed. “I was barely keeping my head above water.” His laugh, when it came, was bitter.
“You see, I was so consumed with trying to save her that I didn’t see how badly it was affecting Caden.
He used to be this bright, excitable little boy.
But over the years, he grew quieter … angrier.
All he did was take care of her when she was home, try and make her happy, so she would stay. ”
His grip tightened slightly around the glass.
“But still, despite everything I tried, it wasn’t enough. Ruth didn’t want help, so Caden went looking for trouble.”
The music paused, and Caden’s silhouette turned towards the puppy. He gently stroked his head before his fingers returned to the keys and picked up the melody once more.
“Everything I’ve ever done,” Alexander whispered, almost to himself, “was to make sure he wouldn’t be shaped by Ruth’s illness … or his grandfather’s choices. I’m so proud that despite his mother, despite me failing him as a father, he became the man he needed to be.”
“He doesn’t blame you, you know,” I whispered, my gaze still fixed on Caden. “For her leaving.”
Alexander gave a small, weary smile. “Maybe. But that doesn’t make me a good man, or a good father.”
He turned to face me fully then, and for a moment I was struck by how similar their eyes were. The same icy blue. The same piercing intensity.
“I really am sorry for what happened to you, and you should be proud with the woman you’ve become despite everything. But, just so you understand, I do not approve of you with my son.”
My lips thinned. “You’re shit at apologies.”
“Indeed.” Alexander stared, and then after a moment gave me a single nod of his head. “I don’t care about your influence, your connections or anything else. If you so much as hurt my son, I’ll destroy you myself.”
“I really should have killed you,” I said, smiling sweetly.
Alexander’s expression remained severe, which I assumed was his default setting. “Why didn’t you?”
“Why what?”
“Kill me. Let’s not pretend like you couldn’t.” He didn’t sound offended by the possibility. If anything, he sounded mildly irritated by it. “You had the opportunity. More than once, I suspect. You had your reasons, yet I don’t understand why you chose not to.”
My smile strained as I turned my attention back to the piano. Caden sat on the bench, completely unaware of the conversation taking place about him.
I wasn’t sure when it had started, but Caden had begun to affect me.
My actions, and even my choices. I could have argued that I hadn’t wanted to cross that final line, or, maybe, there was just a small part of me that wanted to be selfish and refuse to break the one person that made me feel … real.
“Because it would have hurt him.”