58. Aeris
Aeris
One Month Later
Dear Aeris,
How can I face so many monsters in a court room, and yet struggle with a simple letter?
I’ve stared at this blank piece of paper for hours, as if I’ll suddenly know where to start. As if all it would take is a simple sorry for you to forgive me. But I know that’s not enough. Nothing I can do will ever be enough.
I knew from the moment I first held you in my arms that I loved you. It feels ridiculous to write that because it’s the bare minimum of a father, but it’s the truth. I have always loved you and your sisters, even if I was never any good at showing it.
For years, shame made it easier to look away, easier to bury my head in work and pretend the guilt wasn’t slowly eating me alive.
I know you hate me for what happened to Mira, and I understand.
I deserve it. I didn’t fight hard enough for either of you.
I didn’t fight for you when it mattered, but I’m asking you to forgive me for this.
For going to Selene fourteen years too late.
I wished I’d been a better father.
Dad
I must have read this letter over a hundred times, as if each time it would suddenly say something else. As if the words would be enough for me to forgive him.
But I couldn’t, and maybe that was something I’d just have to accept.
“She’d have been thirty today,” Fletcher said quietly, his attention on the horizon. “Do you think she’d have gone for chocolate or strawberry birthday cake?”
I began to fold the letter. “Chocolate,” I said, glancing over at him. “She’d ask for a normal one too, because the lactose free tasted like—”
“Shit,” Fletcher finished with a small, sad smile. “I remember. Then she’d be crying in pain all night, cursing her own terrible choices.”
A gentle salt breeze moved around us, teasing my bare legs as we both leaned against the railing at the end of the pier, the same pier Mira used to drag us to whenever she needed to escape.
Fletcher let out a long breath, tilting his head back towards the sky. “She would’ve hated this weather. Always complained when it was too sunny. Said it made her freckles worse.”
“It did,” I said quietly, remembering how they’d spread whenever the sunshine touched her skin. Still, her favourite place was along the coast, finding the rare spots of sand amongst the rocks while the freezing waves lapped at her feet. “I miss her.”
Another fold of the paper, my fingers pressing into the creases until they were perfect.
“Me too, Red.” Fletcher’s shoulder nudged mine, eyes glancing down at my hands. “You don’t have to forgive him, you know. Not today. Not ever, if you don’t want to.”
I stared at the folded letter in my hands, shaped into a plane. “I know. But part of me still wonders what kind of person I’d be if I could.”
“You’d still be you. Still the strongest person I know. Most annoying too.”
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” With a smile I pulled my arm back and threw. The paper plane soared, caught on the wind to be carried away towards the water.
As I watched it go I realised, for the first time in a long time, the thought that Mira was gone didn’t completely destroy me.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do about Atlantis yet?” Fletcher asked, sitting straighter.
I hadn’t. More so because I needed the break. Needed to figure out who I was without being someone’s puppet. But I did miss it. I missed singing. I missed the way the entire room would fall silent the moment I stepped onto that stage. I missed my Sirens.
Now that Selene was gone, Atlantis was one hundred per cent mine. Albus had been running it in my absence. Surprisingly well, in fact. Considering his profound discomfort at anything related to sex.
I guess I was capable of forgiveness after all.
But only for those that deserved it.
A seagull squawked somewhere behind me, but I still watched the paper plane go until a gentle wave reached up to claim it.
All I’d ever wanted was to break free, to become someone who didn’t deal in secrets, blood, and lies. But now I understood how ridiculous that dream was. As if I could ever just stop being the Mistress of Whispers, stop being a Siren or the broken girl brought up by monsters.
For years I thought freedom meant abandoning the Underworld entirely, leaving it behind for something softer, something normal. But doing that would mean abandoning part of myself too. The place where that broken girl survived, thrived, even while trapped beneath Selene’s control.
“I’ll go back one day,” I said eventually, although it was likely to be sooner rather than later.
Fletcher studied me for a long moment, his expression serious. “I still have those papers,” he added quietly. “Everything you and your sisters need to disappear.”
I frowned, giving him a side-eye. “I never asked for anything for myself.”
“I know,” he replied gently. “But I also know you wanted a life outside of all this.”
“That was before I knew I could have one,” I admitted. “Before there was something else I wanted.”
Fletcher reached for the two beers he’d bought, handing one to me before raising his own. “To Mira, and to whatever you desire.”
I laughed softly, clinking my bottle against his. “To an actual life. One free from a cage.”
We both took long drinks, the silence that followed peaceful.
“So,” Fletcher asked after a while, “what do you want me to do with those documents?”
“She won’t be needing them,” came a deep voice from behind us.
I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
Caden’s voice wrapped around me like silk and steel, my heart skipping a beat when he came into view. “Starting to feel like you’re stalking me,” I said, making his upper lip curve.
His icy-blue eyes locked onto mine with that familiar intensity, and with it a sense of warmth.
Fletcher straightened, walking over to Caden to exchange a few words that weren’t carried by the wind.
“Later, Red,” he said, lifting his hand before walking back down the mile-long pier.
The moment he was gone, Caden closed the distance between us. His arms coming around to trap me against him.
“You planning on running from me, Tempest?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm.
I ignored the question entirely, turning so I could face him. “What did Fletcher say?”
Caden raised a brow but didn’t push. “Threatened me that if I hurt you, I’d have him to answer to.”
I laughed at that.
“He also said,” Caden continued, stepping closer until our bodies were almost flush, “that you need someone like me.” His thumb brushed slowly across my jaw, possessive enough to make heat curl low in my stomach. “Someone to help you fight your monsters.”
His gaze held mine.
“But what he doesn’t understand is that you’ve never needed me to fight your battles. You’re more than capable of handling them on your own.”
Something in my chest tightened.
“But I will always be here,” he continued. “Right beside you. Whether you need me to burn the world down … or simply stand in the ashes with you while you do it yourself.”
“Hmm,” I murmured. “Good answer.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Are you ready?” he asked, the wind swirled around us, carrying with it salt and cold sea spray.
I automatically reached up, finding my throat bare of my pearl necklace, and that loss spiked again. I didn’t think I’d ever get over losing her, but I was starting to finally accept my grief.
“I’ve got you, Tempest,” he whispered when I didn’t say anything, handing me the black half-skull mask.
“I know.” I smiled up at him, my fingers stoking over his smooth jaw. “I’m ready.”