Chapter 4
Four
The rooms they gave me are something out of a dream.
In addition to the bathing chamber and sleeping area, there’s a separate sitting room, a writing nook with a desk, and a dining space with a table that seats eight.
There’s also a small bed tucked away in a tiny room for a servant to sleep near me in case I need anything.
Everything is tastefully decorated in black, gray, and cream.
It’s luxury like I could never imagine and it’s more space than the house where I grew up.
I didn’t know just how different things were between the royals and everyone else.
A log falls in the fireplace, making a series of cracks and pops that sends sparks beyond the grate to the stone floor around the hearth. Marian insisted on building a large fire since I am not allowing her to stay with me.
I pace around the enormous space taking in the floral tapestries that hang on the walls, and pause at a bookshelf near the writing nook.
There’s only a handful of books there, and they’re all about plants.
I pick one up and carry it to the large feather bed.
It’s covered in furs and pillows, and while I hate knowing that my bedding must have cost more than most people will ever see in their whole lives, I can’t deny that it’s comfortable.
Settling against the pillows, I open the book and begin to read.
The plants listed are all native to Pendralia, though someone scribbled notes into the margins next to some entries.
After seeing the columns earlier, I know these must have belonged to the empress.
I set the book down and look around again. This must have been her room.
Which means, the emperor’s room can’t be far.
I crawl out of the bed again and slowly move around the room, lifting the tapestries and feeling for any creases or unusual cracks in the stone walls. Didn’t emperors and empresses usually have their rooms near each other? Didn’t castles have secret passages? Or was that just in the stories?
“Taylan?”
I freeze between the wall and a heavy tapestry of a pair of deer standing between flowering spring trees. I swear I heard someone saying my name. My real name.
“Tay? Are you here?”
Nope, not imagining. I shuffle along the wall until I’m uncovered by the tapestry. The room is empty. “Lee? Is that you?”
Lee turns the corner then stops. I instantly glance toward the main door. If anyone sees him in here, he’s dead. And there’s a good chance I will be as well.
“You can’t be here,” I hiss. My betrothed literally admitted over dinner that he used to spy on me, and while he says he won’t any longer, I don’t actually believe him.
“I had to check on you. Fuck. That nightgown is fancier than anything you’ve ever worn. You could be royalty. I almost forgot how beautiful you are.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn.
“I can’t say you look good?” He takes a few steps closer, and I hold up my hand, indicating for him to stop.
“Truly, if they find you here, it’s over for both of us. You have to go.”.
“Don’t worry. We’ve created a distraction,” he says. “I’ve got at least five minutes.”
I press my fingers to my temples. “What did you do?”
“That’s what you want to use our five minutes for?”
“I want to know why you’re here and what you want.” I take a step away from him.
“Did you meet the emperor?” he asks.
“No. Caiden says he rarely meets anyone. I think I have to earn their trust first.” Not that I didn’t almost blow that tonight, but I am not about to tell Lee that.
“Caiden? As in Prince Caiden? Already on a first-name basis?”
“You sent me here as his betrothed.”
“I’m just surprised. I thought he’d be the type to insist on titles.” Lee shoves his hands into his pockets, then causally walks closer to me. “Find out anything else? Like where the emperor is? Is he even in the castle? Is he away? Is he dead?”
“They told me he’s away right now. I don’t know if that’s a cover or not. I just got here. You’re going to have to give me time.”
He stops in front of me. “I know. I mostly just wanted to see if you were alright. Make sure they didn’t hurt you.” He removes his hand from his pockets and reaches for me.
I flinch when he touches me but don’t pull away. When he takes my hand, I’m not sure how to react. For so long, this was normal for us. It feels wrong but it’s like my body still remembers that it used to be this way. “What are you doing?”
“I just missed you already.” He leans closer like he wants to kiss me.
I pull away from his grip and step back. “What exactly is happening here, Lee?”
“What? I can’t kiss my girl?”
Everything comes crashing around me. All the things he said and the hurt he caused.
The way he turned the rebellion into something darker and deadlier in a matter of days after my mother’s death.
The way he used my family’s deaths as his excuse for so much bloodshed without ever mourning them.
“I am not your girl. Haven’t been in a long time. What are you doing?”
“I don’t know.” He runs his hand through his hair. “It’s seeing you like this. All dressed like a princess. Probably bedding a prince. It has me all confused and jealous, and I think I made a mistake, Taylan.”
“No. You were clear. You made your choice, and it didn’t involve me.”
“But you agreed to do this. I thought that meant everything was back to the way it was,” he says. “That you were over it.”
My brows lift and I scoff. “Over it? My whole family is dead, Lee. Gone. Everyone I loved. I’m here for one reason: revenge. I want the emperor and anyone else who had anything to do with their deaths dead. In the most painful and terrible ways possible. I want to watch them all suffer.”
“You’re not here to kill anyone, Tay. You’re just here to get information.
You think you’re so tough. Think you’ve had it hard.
I have news for you: We’ve all had it hard.
Losing your family doesn’t make you special.
It just gives you motivation. You’re here because of your face. Because you look like a dead woman.”
“I know why I’m here. And you’re putting it all at risk,” I remind him.
“No, you’re the one putting it at risk with that revenge talk.
You find out where the emperor is. You find out how he’s staying alive so long.
Then you tell us and let the rest of us do our jobs.
” He steps closer, and his expression softens.
“I know it’s been hard on you. I hate that you’ve had to live like this.
I hate that you lost them. I miss them, too.
Your brothers were like brothers to me, as well.
Remember that. Remember that you’re not the only one hurting. ”
I clench my jaw to keep from pointing out his condescending switch in tactics. At this point, I just want him gone. And then I can figure out where the emperor is, what’s keeping him alive, and how to put a blade in his heart myself. I don’t care what Lee says. This is all about revenge.
He pulls a red gemstone from his pocket and holds it out. “Take this. As soon as you find what you need, place it on that windowsill. It’ll glow in the sun. We’ll watch for it.”
“Fire ruby?” I ask. The stone will shine like a beacon from my window once I put it there.
“The only one we have. But tell them some story about how it was a gift from your family or something to remind you of home. They’re mined in Iskvaland. They should buy it. Tell them you’re homesick.”
“Got it. But now you need to leave. Before they come in here and find you.”
“Be careful, Tay. You know how important you are to me.” He smiles the way he used to when he’d say sweet things to me. Back when I believed his kind words and empty promises.
Before I knew who he really was. I won’t fall for it again. “Right. Go. I can do this. But it will take time.”
He nods, then turns and rushes away, disappearing into a secret passage in the bathroom.
Well, that’s going to give me nightmares. No more long baths for me. I wait a moment, letting him get some distance, before I follow him. There is no way I’m not going to find out where that passage leads. Just as I press against the wall, a knock sounds on my door.
I remove my hand and hurry back to my bedroom. “Who is it?”
“Princess, I need to check your room,” Brevan calls from outside. “Are you decent?”
I’m in a nearly sheer nightgown, so no. “One minute.” I find the robe near the vanity and pull it on as I walk to the door.
I hardly open it a crack before Brevan pushes his way inside. Startled, I scramble away so I’m not knocked over. “Excuse you.”
“Emergency, Your Highness.” He unsheathes the sword that hangs at his hip and holds it by his side, then storms into the bedroom. He checks under the bed, behind the tapestries, inside the wardrobe. He investigates every crevice and every corner.
My blood runs cold.
He’s looking for someone hiding in my room. They know Lee was here. I didn’t even make it one night in the castle. They’re going to arrest me and hang me. I will haunt Lee for the rest of his life for sneaking in here like this.
I follow Brevan at a distance, expecting him to enter the passageway in the bathing chamber, but he doesn’t even pause near the wall.
He does another pass of each room, checking every corner a second time, then returns to my bedroom, stopping in front of me.
His jaw is clenched, his grip on his weapon tight.
He’s wound as tight as a spring, and I’m certain he’s about to unload all that tension on me.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” I ask.
“There’s nobody here,” he says.
“Did you expect someone else to be here besides me?” I’m impressed with how condescending I make my tone.
“There was an incident. Rebels tried to scale the north side of the castle. Two made it past the legionnaires and were heading in the direction of your rooms.” He peers around again, as if he doesn’t believe his own investigation.
“But your men caught them, right?” I ask.
“No. Not all of them. But I will remain with you until they’re found,” he says.
“That’s not necessary.”
His eyes narrow. “It’s not? Do you have some kind of training I’m unaware of?”
That’s when I remember I’m supposed to be afraid of the rebels.
I can’t afford to keep making these kinds of mistakes.
Especially now that I know Lee expects me to fail.
I have added proving Lee wrong to my list of reasons for being here.
“It’s just that my door locks and there’s so many legionnaires here and they all have magic. They can’t possibly get into my room.”
“I’m glad you feel confident in our men,” he says. “But the prince has informed me that you have a habit of taking clandestine midnight strolls. I can’t risk you doing that.”
“That was in my home. Where I was familiar with things. I’m not going to do that here.” The real Sabina’s habit of sneaking out might end up making things harder for me. Covert exploration of the castle is part of how I plan to figure out the information I need.
“Doesn’t matter. His Highness has requested that I stay with you and babysit.” He spits the last word out like it’s a curse. Like watching me is so far beneath him.
“I won’t tell if you don’t.” I give him my most charming smile.
“I’ll be on the window seat, Your Highness. Sleep well.”
“You can’t be serious,” I say, aghast. “I cannot have a man spending the night in my room. What will people say?”
“They’ll say the prince has a very loyal lapdog who wasted his night watching over a spoiled princess instead of chasing down rebels like he should.”
“Really. You can’t be in here,” I repeat.
He starts removing his leather armor.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I don’t usually sleep in my armor.” He drops the leather chest plate on the floor. “And since I don’t think you’re actually going to be attacked, there’s not much point in leaving it on.”
“Please don’t,” I say.
“Close the curtains on your bed and go to sleep, Your Highness. I’ll be gone in the morning.”
“I still don’t think this is appropriate.” I cross my arms. “I don’t know you, and you expect me to feel safe sleeping in the same room as you?”
He uses his toe to push all his armor next to the cushioned window seat with a sigh.
I can see the tips of black gift markings on his left forearm where his sleeve is rolled up.
It almost looks like a vine. I wonder if they extend onto his arms and chest. He’s strong and broad, and without the cover of his armor, the outlines of his muscles are clear, and my mind starts to imagine what he might look like without that shirt on.
Nope. Not doing that. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, then open them to clear my head.
“Should I call for your ladies? They can join us,” he offers in a tone that tells me he knows it’s the last thing I want.
“I think I preferred it when you weren’t talking to me,” I say.
With a smirk, he inclines his head. “Sleep well, Your Highness.” He sits on the window seat and removes his boots, then turns so his back is against the wall and his legs stretch out across the cushion.
He takes up the whole seat that way. He couldn’t lay down even if he wanted to, which means he’s either not sleeping or he’s sleeping sitting up.
I climb under my blankets and furs with my robe still on, leaving the canopy open so I can watch him. Settling in, propped up against the headboard, I plan to stay awake until the sun rises.
In the firelight, I can tell he’s got his eyes closed and his head back. His arms are crossed, and his breathing is steady. Maybe he really is going to sleep.
I fight exhaustion, but it’s been a long day and my eyes are heavy.
The next thing I know, cheerful singsong voices call my name, and my ladies are gathering in my room while sunlight pours in from the window. The window seat is empty. The armor and boots are gone.