Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Brevan lets me tend to his wounds. I go through the same motions I did earlier, this time prepared for his reactions.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snuck out,” I say.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” he says.
His back is worse. The wounds from earlier haven’t fully healed, and now, he’s got new slashes. They bleed longer this time, soaking through two tunics before I am able to start cleaning them.
“How did you get past the guards at your door?” he asks.
“I’m quick,” I say.
He looks at me like he knows I’m lying. He probably does, but he doesn’t say anything.
“You should have been resting,” I scold.
“I needed fresh air to clear my head.”
“Maybe I needed that, too,” I reply.
“You said you were looking for a missing lady. Which one?”
“Katherine. Nobody’s seen her since before the rebel attack.” I grab the ointment from the drawer and gingerly slather it on his back.
He winces but doesn’t cry out. When I’m finished, I close the jar and return it to its place.
“I’ll ask around. See if anyone knows where she is,” he offers.
“Thank you,” I say.
“If you promise me you won’t do this again, I will keep your secret.”
My brow furrows. “Why would you do that?”
“Maybe I think it’s worth having a favor owed by the future empress of Pendralia.”
“You think I’d ever get to be empress?” I scoff. “The emperor isn’t going to hand over his throne.”
“Maybe,” he says. “But you’ll still be the princess, then. And you’ll have Caiden’s ear. He likes you.”
“What happened between you two?” I ask. “I know you grew up together. That you used to be close.”
“People change,” he says.
“I suppose they do,” I say, thinking of Lee. Of myself.
He stands, then pulls a tunic over his head. It’s the last one in his wardrobe. The rest were used to clean his injuries. “You’ll hide in the stairwell, and I’ll relieve the guards at your door. Then, you can get into your room.”
It seems too nice. “Why are you really doing this?”
“I told you.”
“And I don’t believe you,” I reply.
“And you were only out searching for your lady?” he asks.
I take a deep breath. “Alright. Thank you. I will owe you a favor.”
He nods, then opens the door for us. The walk back to my rooms is quiet. There’s something different between us now, but I don’t know how to explain it.
I wait on the stairs, and the legionnaires at my door leave without question. When I reach my door, I nod to Brevan. “Good night.”
“Good night, Princess.”
“You could have been killed,” Caiden says. “I can’t believe the rebels sent such a large attack while I was away. This is why I have Brevan with you. If it had just been regular legionnaires, you’d be dead. Then, what would we do?”
I take a bite of melon so I don’t have to respond. I wonder if Brevan can hear our conversation from the hall.
Caiden knocked on my door an hour after sunrise. He entered quickly, followed by servants carrying trays of breakfast. Is this what it would be like if we really did get married?
Sitting at the dining table in my expansive rooms over breakfast feels too intimate. I adjust myself in my chair, trying to find a way to feel comfortable. It’s not working.
“Did they teach you to fight at all in Iskvaland?” he asks.
“No. That was for the men.” I hope it’s an accurate answer.
“You need to learn to protect yourself. Brevan can’t always be with you. He’ll have to leave again soon.”
“To go where?” I ask.
“To find more relics,” he says. “We can’t have anyone using them to harm others.”
I sip my juice. More relics. For the emperor to bind people to him. I shudder.
“Are you cold?”
“I’m alright. Just a little shiver.”
He finishes eating his eggs, then sets his fork down. “It’s decided, then.”
My brow furrows. “What’s decided?”
“You’ll train with Brevan. Learn to defend yourself.”
“What? I’m not a fighter.”
“That’s exactly why you need to learn,” he says. “My mother knew enough to save herself. She was attacked once, and her legionnaires were outnumbered. She had to fight off one of the attackers herself. I remember her crying for weeks. That first life you take is the hardest.”
Learning how to fight would help me when it comes time to assassinate the emperor. I want him dead. I want the prince dead. I want to be the one who does it. But could I? When it comes down to it, could I take a life?
“Sabina?”
“Oh, sorry. What did you say?”
“I said, I want you to start today. I’ll tell Brevan.” He sets his napkin down on top of his plate, then stands. “You finish your breakfast. When you’re done, let Brevan know.”
“Alright.” I watch him leave, then let out a breath as I slump into my chair. I was so worried he was going to bring up me leaving last night, but it never came up.
Brevan kept his word.
My ladies arrive just after the prince left. “Look who’s back,” Charlotte calls as she walks into my rooms.
Katherine waves from behind her. “I’m sorry I worried you all. I wasn’t feeling well and went to the infirmary. They should have told you.”
I let out a breath of relief.
“Are you feeling better now?” Antonia asks.
“Much,” Katherine says.
“I’m glad you’re alright,” I say.
“I see you had a private breakfast with your betrothed,” Charlotte says with a hint of innuendo.
“Did you find out where he went?” Antonia asks.
“He wouldn’t tell me. Just that whatever issue he was working on is resolved, so I’m not supposed to worry.”
“Well, that’s a relief at least,” she says.
There’s a knock on the door. “I’ll get it,” Antonia chirps.
Juliette storms in before anyone has a chance to say hello. She stops in front of me, hands on her hips. She starts ranting so fast it’s hard to make out her words.
“He’s marrying me off to some old guy. Apparently, there’s someone who doesn’t care about my past misdeeds and even thinks it’s endearing. Whatever that means. How could anyone be interested in me after the things I’ve done? How much worse do I have to act to keep them away from me?”
“Slow down. Who is making you marry?” I ask.
“And who’s the old guy?” Charlotte asks.
“The emperor. He’s making me marry the Earl of Fleur. He’s not even a well-connected noble. He’s not important to the empire. He’s already loyal. There’s no reason to do this other than to get me out of sight and try to tame me. But they’re in for a surprise. I will not be tamed.”
“Maybe we can talk to him?” I ask.
“Is there someone better you could suggest?” Genevieve asks. “But you have to make it seem like it’s his idea. Men love it when they think it’s their idea.”
We all look at her.
“It’s true,” she says with a shrug.
“There isn’t anyone,” Juliette whines. “Unless you know someone who would leave me alone and let me be. I have no desire to tie myself to any man.”
“Don’t worry, yet. When is this wedding supposed to happen?” I ask.
“After Darkfall.” She plops onto the window seat. “He’s coming here for the celebrations, and then the emperor says we’ll marry before he returns to his estate.”
“Alright. We have a little time.” I try to sound encouraging.
“How am I going to get him to change his mind?” she laments.
“I’m not sure yet, but in the meantime, do you want to swing a sword around or throw some knives?” I ask.
She looks at me like I’m insane.
“What are you talking about?” Antonia asks.
“The prince wants me to learn to fight,” I say. “I could use some company. It might be good for you.”
Juliette stretches her legs across the cushion. “I’m not going anywhere. I want to wallow.”
“Alright. Anyone else want to join me?” I offer.
“Fighting is the man’s job,” Antonia says. “I can’t afford to risk word getting out about me training to fight. I might frighten off suitors.”
“She’s got a point,” Charlotte says.
“If you require us to go, I’ll go. But if we have a choice, I’d rather not,” Genevieve says.
“I’ll try it,” Katherine offers.
“We’ll be back soon,” I announce. “There’s breakfast in the dining chamber if you’re hungry.”
Brevan is waiting for me in the hallway. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, and his cheeks have no color.
“You look terrible. You sure you should be teaching lessons today?” I ask.
Katherine gasps.
“Sorry, that was rude.” I glance over at Katherine who is biting down on her lower lip nervously.
“I know you’re just trying to get out of this,” he says. “It won’t work.”
“We were attacked. You were injured. I’m concerned about your recovery.”
Brevan tenses. “You are too kind, Princess. Are you joining us today, Lady Katherine?”
I’d almost forgotten she was there.
“If that’s alright,” she says.
“Of course. But we should get started.” He gestures toward the hall.
I walk next to him, while Katherine is on my other side. “What is wrong with you?” I whisper.
He keeps his voice quiet. “You can’t act like we’re friends, Princess. I crossed a line last night, and I apologize.”
“You saved my life. Twice,” I remind him.
“That’s my job.”
“I can still be concerned. You were hurt badly,” I hiss.
“Don’t worry about me.”
“You were at my door all night, weren’t you?”
“Again, it’s my job,” he says.
“When do you rest? Heal?” I ask.
“I’m fine, Princess. This way, we’ll be using the legionnaire training grounds today.” He picks up the pace, and I know he’s finished talking to me. I clench my jaw so tight it hurts. Why do I keep letting him get to me?
We follow Brevan to an outdoor training arena. There’s a cold gray mist drifting through the air, and the distant trees are devoid of their leaves. We’ll have snow soon.
“There are three different training rings out here,” Brevan explains. “We have weapons training, combat training, and magic training. We’re going to start with some simple combat training since you won’t typically have a weapon available.”
“Why wouldn’t we?” Katherine asks. “If it’s dangerous enough that the prince wants her to train, shouldn’t she have a knife or something?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I wouldn’t want either of you to accidentally stab yourself,” he says.
When we reach the combat training arena, I’m surprised to see a variety of objects.
There’s a log hanging by strings between two large stone columns.
It sways gently as if someone is pushing it.
Ladders sit propped against stone walls, and ropes dangle from other walls.
I can’t even identify half the unusual things they have set up.
“What is all this?” I ask.
“This is how you learn to fight,” he says.
“By climbing ladders?” I don’t hide my skepticism.
“Yes.”
“Can’t you just show me how to stab someone?” I ask.
“Not yet,” he says. “Besides, I’m more interested in you knowing how to run away.”
“That’s not what Caiden said. He wants me to be able to defend myself,” I argue. Running won’t help me kill an emperor.
“Alright, how about I make you a deal?” he says with a grin.
I know this isn’t going to work in my favor, but I also have a feeling I’m not getting away from it. “Fine. What’s your deal?”
He points to the suspended log. “You walk across that without falling off, and we’ll go play with some knives.”
“It’s a log.”
He gestures toward it. “Go ahead.”
“You can do it, Sabina,” Katherine cheers.
“Right. Yes.” I walk over to it and climb the stool that leads to one side. I grab the ropes that keep it suspended and step onto the log. I’m swaying right away, already having to grip the ropes to keep from falling off.
I might have made a mistake.
I wait for the log to slow so it’s no longer swinging as intensely and then take a step.
I feel better. Like maybe I can actually do this.
I let go of one rope and take another small step.
I throw one arm out to steady myself. Then, I release the other rope.
I’m balancing on the log. Arms out, I move another step. Then, another.
“This isn’t so bad.” I look over my shoulder and the log swings.
Eyes wide, I struggle to maintain my balance, and I lose my footing and slip.
I hit the ground hard. Mud splatters on my face.
I wipe it from my eyes and mouth, but my hands are even more covered in the stuff.
I lift the skirts of my dress to clear the mud from my face.
Brevan is laughing.
Katherine runs over to me. Her slippers sink into mud, making squelching sounds as she nears. She slides and crashes into me, knocking us both flat on our backs. I’m pretty sure there’s mud everywhere. And I mean everywhere.
Brevan looks down at us. “Need some help?”
“From you? No, thank you.” I try to sit, but I’m sinking and slipping. Katherine is doing the same. Reluctantly, I hold out my hand, and Brevan pulls me out of the mud pit. Then he helps Katherine.
“I’m guessing our lesson is over for today?” Brevan says.
There’s no way I could attempt that log again or climb a ladder or anything else for that matter in my mud-caked dress. It drags behind me, even heavier than usual.
“I need pants,” I tell Brevan. “I could do it if I had pants. And boots.” I lift my foot to show my stupid satin slippers, only to find that I don’t have any shoes on at all. They’re lost in the mud.
“So you do,” he says. “I’ll let Caiden know.”
“I’m going to take a bath. Do not follow me,” I say.
He drops into an exaggerated bow. “As you wish, Your Highness.” When he stands, he’s wearing the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him.
I pick up the skirts of my dress so I don’t trip over them and head back to the castle. Katherine follows behind.
“I’m going to take a bath, too,” she says. “And I hope you’ll understand that I won’t be joining you for lessons again.”
“I don’t blame you,” I say.