Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Dinner is being served at three long tables. The emperor sits at one with his priest, several important-looking officials in uniforms, and a few select courtiers.
The second table is where I’m sitting, next to Caiden and more people in uniforms and exquisite, expensive clothing.
The last table is all courtiers, no legionnaires or officials in uniform. They’re likely the less important people but have enough status to be at this event.
“I’m glad you returned safely,” I say to Caiden.
He leans over and kisses my cheek. “I’m glad you survived the attack. I can’t believe they got into your room. Or that you killed two men yourself.”
“One myself, the other was Anya. Speaking of, I have to say thank you for allowing her to join me.” I offer a warm smile.
“I’m glad you’re happy.”
Servants come around the table, filling wineglasses. The prince covers his and shakes his head. “None for me.”
I sip my wine. “Still hungover from the other night?”
“I want to be completely sober for later,” he says.
“I didn’t think I’d have company. Won’t I need the rest before tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t keep you up too late.”
I take a gulp of my wine, already wondering what I’m going to have to do to get him away from me long enough to sneak out with Anya.
It was going to be hard enough already with guards constantly at the door. I’m really hoping there’s a secret passageway somewhere in her room.
“You know, my father told me he wasn’t going to have you do the gifting ceremony after all while we were away.”
“What changed his mind back?” I ask.
“The bodies you left on the floor in your room. He was impressed by your bravery.” He smiles as if he knows something I don’t.
“I’m not sure how to reply to that. If I could have chosen for them to pass by my room and not break down the door, I’d have taken that option. I was only brave because I had to be.”
“But they did break down your door. Almost like the gods themselves sent a test for you.”
“Maybe,” I reply.
Bowls of soup are set in front of each of us, and we make polite conversation with the people around us as we eat.
I’m seated across from the Duke and Duchess of Bogshire.
They laugh at every joke the prince makes, even if it’s not funny, and compliment him at every possible moment.
They’ve even started doing it to me by the time we reach the main course.
My ladies are at the end of the table. Given the honor of sitting near me, but not close enough that I can speak with them. They’re all directly across from men. I wonder if those men are looking for wives.
The only person I don’t see is Brevan. I tell myself that it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that the prince knows about our kiss. It doesn’t mean that he’s gone. He’s just busy. I look toward the door more often than I should in the hopes that he’ll walk through it.
By the time dessert is served, my face hurts from fake smiling and I am out of safe, mindless conversation topics.
Musicians file in as dinner is cleared away, and people leave the tables to gather in groups to converse or dance. I just want out of this room.
“I have a bit of a headache,” I say to Caiden. “I don’t think I’ve quite recovered from last night yet.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Why don’t you rest for a while, and I’ll send Brevan to come and get you later. We have some things to do to prepare for the ceremony tomorrow.”
“Alright.” I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek because it feels like what would be expected of me.
He smiles, then waves over two young legionnaires who seem overly eager to attend to the prince. “Please escort my bride to her room. I need you to wait outside the door until the enforcer arrives. Nobody in or out.”
I try not to wince when he says out.
“See you soon, Princess,” Caiden says.
I give him a small curtsy, then walk toward the door. The pair of legionnaires follows close behind. As I’m leaving, I scan the room for Anya. I don’t see her anywhere. Maybe she left already. If we’re lucky, we can find a passageway and get out now.
If we’re unlucky, we might have to go later tonight after whatever Caiden has planned. Either way, I will not be at the temple tomorrow.
My heart aches at the thought of leaving Brevan behind, but I know I could never have him, anyway. And there’s the whole fact that I failed at what I was sent here to do. But I carry information with me that may help someone else complete the mission.
When I arrived here, I was willing to throw my life away for even a chance at making the royals suffer.
Now, I see things a little differently. They still need to meet their end, but it needs to be done properly.
We’ll need two assassins so they can be killed at the same time, leaving no chance for one of them to catch the killer before the deed is completed.
I’ll find Lee and let him know. And I’ll also demand he tell me who killed my brothers. And then I’ll make plans to make their murderer pay.
I don’t say a word to the legionnaires when I arrive at Anya’s room. The lamps flicker to life as soon as I close the door. I let out a relieved breath. At least in here, I don’t have to pretend. “Anya?”
The room is small enough that I should see her immediately, so I walk toward the bathing chamber to check there. The door is open, and the room is empty.
I guess she is still at dinner and I missed her. I take off my slippers and shimmy out of the formal dress. Caiden didn’t give me details, so I pull on a more comfortable day dress, then get to work removing all the pins in my hair.
Anya still isn’t here when I finish. I hope she gets back before Brevan arrives.
The fire crackles as a log falls, and the flames grow weaker from the change of position. I throw in a new log and stoke the fire, bringing it back to life.
All I can do is wait. So I read.
A knock on the door wakes me. The book is on my chest, open to wherever I was when I dozed off. The fire is nearly spent, and the lamps have dimmed to the nighttime levels.
“Anya?” I call.
She’s still not here.
The knock sounds again.
I wanted to talk to her before seeing Caiden, but it looks like that’s not going to happen. I open the door and actually feel tension release when I see Brevan. I hadn’t realized how worried I was about him.
“You weren’t at dinner,” I say.
“Caiden sent me to town for some things,” he says.
“That’s strange. Isn’t it? Or do you normally run his errands?”
“It was unusual. And it was a distraction.”
“What do you mean?”
He glances down the hall, then gently pushes me into the room. Once the door is closed, his expression changes. I think he’s afraid. I’ve never seen him afraid.
“I can get you out. But we have to go now. I have a few favors I can call in. You can be on a ship out of Pendralia by sunrise. You can’t go home, though. But there’s a place I know you’ll be safe, if you trust me.”
“Slow down. What happened, Brevan?”
He grips my elbows. “They took Anya. I didn’t know they were going to. I’m so sorry. I’m the one who brought her here. I know what she means to you.”
I sway, but Brevan wraps his arms around me to steady me. It takes me a few breaths before the words actually sink in. “They took her? Is she alive?”
“Yes.”
“Where is she?”
“I’m not sure. They left the castle with her,” he says.
“Why?” This is my fault. I should have sent her away the second I saw her. It wasn’t safe for her here.
“They’re concerned you won’t go along with their plans.”
“What are their plans?”
He swallows. “I can still get you out of here.”
“You know I can’t leave Anya.”
“I know. But I had to try.” He brushes his fingers over my cheek. “It’s selfish and wrong. I want another man’s betrothed. But you’re not mine.”
“I’m not his. My heart already belongs to someone else.”
He crushes his lips to mine, and I kiss him back desperately. It’s a goodbye, but I can’t think about that now. I want to memorize the way his body feels against mine. The way his tongue teases, the way he tastes, the way he kisses me like he would burn the whole world for me.
I wipe my tears away as soon as we pull apart. I don’t want to make this any harder for him than it already is. “What are they going to make me do?”
“I’m to bring you to Caiden. For a binding ceremony.”
I gasp. “I’ll be bound to him? Not the emperor?”
He nods.
“Does that mean he’ll control what I do? Or be able to punish me like the emperor does you?”
“It depends on how strong the binding is and how strong the relic is. The emperor can’t override my free will, but as you’ve seen, he punishes me if I use power he doesn’t want me to. I think he could do more, but I’ve been loyal. Until now.”
“Don’t do that to yourself.” I step back so we’re no longer touching. “I’m not what you think I am. You should forget about me. I’m not worth it.”
“Yes, you are,” he says.
I’m so tempted to tell him everything. It would be easier on him if he could hate me. But then I’d lose Anya. And it’s possible he’d be punished as well. I never should have kissed him. “I wish things were different.”
“I know.”
My heart aches. I can’t linger on what could have been anymore. “If I do this, do you really think they’ll bring back Anya?”
“Caiden is a lot of things, but he keeps his bargains. Get him to promise not to harm her in any way. Get him to agree to let her stay by your side. Anything you can think of to ensure her safety. He’ll keep his word.”
I nod. “He’s waiting for me, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“We can’t have them thinking something is wrong.” I make myself stand tall.
“Sabina,” Brevan says.
Every time he says my name, her name, it makes my heart soar. I can’t imagine how it would feel for him to use my real name. But that’s something I’ll never know.
“We should go,” I say.
He nods, then opens the door.
We walk through the halls silently. It’s the middle of the night, and a few legionnaires stand at their posts, but nobody else is around. The halls are dark, lit by sparse flickering lanterns. It feels haunted.
“The empress’s temple?” We’re nearly there, and the door is open. Light pours out from the room. I look at Brevan, my forehead creased in confusion.
“That’s where he wanted to do the ceremony. It’ll just be the two of you.”
I open my mouth to say something, but Caiden steps out of the temple, a wide smile on his face. He’s dressed in black from head to toe. A black tunic and trousers that look oddly out of place on him. They’re comfortable clothes instead of his formal style.
He extends his arms in what is probably supposed to be a welcoming gesture. “My little raven, I have something very special for you tonight.”
Brevan stops, but I continue, careful not to look back at him. I step into the temple, and Caiden closes the door.