Chapter 44 #2
Rage seethes and twists, and I feel something dark stirring within me. “You took everything from me!” I let the anger come, let it drive me forward. “How could you do that?”
“What the fuck?” Caiden says from behind me.
“He should be dead!” Ludis says.
I turn, and I’m face-to-face with the emperor. His vacant eyes stare at me, and his body is oddly slack.
“Father?” Caiden says.
The emperor stares straight ahead at nothing, unmoving, unspeaking. Fear grips me. He’s supposed to be dead. He looks like he’s dead.
Brevan swings his sword, and the emperor’s head falls to the ground, but his body remains upright. I shove him hard, and he falls on top of his head.
We’re all panting and wide-eyed, each of us looking at the other.
Brevan moves closer to me but won’t meet my eye.
“Well, this didn’t go the way I expected,” Ludis sighs. “I just wanted to regain my father’s favor. I had an entire plan. It was going to be so glorious.” He throws his hands up, then glances over at me. I hold my ground, glaring at him.
“But you didn’t make it easy, did you? I had to constantly adjust. And when you survived the temple—” he scoffs, “Well, I had to adjust again. So here I am.” He kicks the dead emperor’s leg. “Now, look at this mess.”
“You still can.” Caiden leans down and grabs a fistful of his father’s hair. He hoists the head up, then tosses it to Ludis. Blood splatters from the severed neck.
Ludis catches it but wrinkles his nose in disgust. His black clothing hides most of the blood that now dots it.
“Take him this,” Caiden says. “Tell him you killed the immortal emperor. Then get me that army.”
“I’ve got a better idea.” Ludis drops the head, and it makes a sickening crack.
“What’s that?” Caiden asks.
“I’ll get you that army, but you have to do something for me,” Ludis says.
“Or I could just kill you now and bargain with your father,” Caiden says.
“You’re willing to give him immortality?” Ludis lifts a brow. “Because unless you provide that, he’s not helping you. I read the treaty.”
“I’ll be married to his daughter,” Caiden says.
“I’m not really Sabina,” I say.
“Nobody outside this room knows that,” Caiden points out.
I grit my teeth knowing that until I have Anya and the other ladies to safety, I can’t argue with him.
“Or, you help put me on the throne and we become the young rulers who change the world. We both know what it would mean if we combined our armies.” Ludis grins.
“Your father disowned you. Told the whole world you were dead,” Caiden counters.
“But I’m not. And with my sister’s support, and my mother’s support, the nobles will fall into line.” Ludis takes a step closer to Caiden. “Think about it. Bonded by blood. A huge, glorious royal wedding that makes everyone celebrate putting decades of war behind us.”
My stomach twists. That’s the last thing I want.
Caiden smirks. “That could work. I have no interest in attacking Iskvaland if we’re on the same side.”
“Think of what we can accomplish together,” he says. “All those mines in the Shatterlands, ripe for the taking.”
“This is what we were trying to stop, Lee. How could you?” I step toward him. Brevan captures me and pulls me back. I glare at him, but he’s not even looking at me.
I deserve it. I deserve everything that happens to me after my betrayal. I will hate myself for the rest of my life for what I did to him.
Caiden saunters over to me. “I’ll give you a choice, my little raven. You can marry me and spend the rest of your life as Sabina of Iskvaland, or you, and all your ladies, can be a feast the dragon will never forget.”
“I hate you,” I say.
“Don’t worry, I think I’ll grow on you over time, just as you’ve grown on me.
” He traces my lower lip with his index finger, and I have to resist the urge to bite him.
“I’m rather disappointed that you spent all that time with Brevan.
” His eyes travel upward, and I know he’s looking at the enforcer.
“But I don’t think we need to worry about that again.
Because if either of you steps a toe out of line, you will lose the thing you hold most dear. ”
I tense. They have something on Brevan. It wasn’t just the relics. His loyalty was purchased the same way mine was. That’s why he never left. Why he’s following orders even now.
If I don’t play along, Anya is dead. All my ladies are dead.
So what do they have on Brevan? Who do they have?
“I need a drink, how about you?” Ludis says to Caiden. “I think we have much to discuss.”
“Just as soon as I inform everyone that the rebels assassinated our dear emperor,” Caiden says. Then he turns to me. “Get yourself cleaned up. I want you by my side when I make the announcement.”
Brevan practically carries me out of the emperor’s private rooms. He doesn’t release me until we’re through the dragon’s head and the door is closed.
We’re silent on the walk to my room. Anya’s room. Anya, whose life is on the line because of me. Because of Brevan.
“Did you know?” I ask. “Did you know they’d use her against me when you brought her here?”
“No.” He sounds like he’s a million miles away.
I probably shouldn’t believe him, but I do. “Who do they have? That’s how they get you to do everything, isn’t it?”
He keeps his eyes straight ahead and his voice low. “There were two of us rescued that day. Me and my sister. She had an exceptionally rare gift at birth. Everyone wanted it, wanted her. So we ran. And then she ended up a prisoner, anyway.”
“So did you,” I tell him.
“I guess we all are.” He stops in front of the door. “I’ll wait here.”
“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change anything, and I know you probably don’t believe me, but I never lied about the way I felt about you.” My throat tightens and I swallow hard as I fight against the threatening tears.
“It’s better this way.” His jaw is tight, his posture stiff.
A tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it quickly, not wanting him to see me break. For a very short while, I got a taste of what it was like to be happy. I think Brevan did, too. I stole hope away from both of us.
“If you can save her and leave here, you should,” I say. “You deserve better.”
His hardened expression cracks, and his brow furrows. “No, I don’t. There is no balancing my scales, and you know that. You spent enough time pointing out my history when we first met.”
“I was wrong. You’re not the villain I thought you were.” My voice shakes a little, the tears dangerously close to overtaking me.
“Yes, I am, Princess.”
“No. You wouldn’t do the things they make you do if you had a choice,” I tell him.
“As you pointed out, we all make choices. I am the monster they asked me to be. Just as you are what they asked of you.”
“It’s not a choice when it comes to saving someone you love,” I press.
He sighs, and I see just a touch of softness. Or maybe that’s in my imagination. “You should go, Princess. The new emperor will be waiting for you.”
His words knock the air from my lungs. The new emperor. Because that’s what Caiden is. I came here to topple an empire. To end the royal line. Instead, I’m joining them. And helping them build the army I wanted to prevent.
I am the monster I came to destroy.
Brevan stands at attention, his expression impassive. As if he’s guarding a stranger. And I suppose, he is. He doesn’t know who I am.
I’m not sure I even know myself, anymore.
The room is too quiet. I was alone in my room often, but knowing there’ll be no ladies joining me is a different kind of quiet.
It hurts more than I thought it would. I wasn’t supposed to befriend them, but I will play the role required to keep them alive.
At least until I can figure out something better. I hope.
It doesn’t feel real. How did I let everything spiral so far out of control?
I strip off all my clothes, leaving a trail of bloodied fabric on my way to the bathing chamber. I wash the emperor’s blood from myself as I stare into the mirror. I hardly recognize myself. What have I become? The emperor is dead. Isn’t that what I wanted?
But instead of preventing war, I might have brought it sooner.
I sit on the edge of the bathtub, the events of the last hour playing on a loop in my memory.
My mind catches on the emperor standing after he’d been killed. The vacant eyes, the strange sagging of his body. I see it over and over. He stands up, he moves, he loses his head, but his body remains upright until he’s knocked over.
A dark sensation slithers through my veins, like something is awakening. It feels like icy fingers trail over my skin. I look down and see new marks spiraling up my formerly bare arm in dark twisting tendrils.
More leaves appear, but they’re different from the other arm. While the previous vines have leaves, they’re in a simple shape that isn’t identifiable as a specific plant. That’s not the case on the new mark. I recognize these. They’re from a plant that grew in the mountains near my old village.
We called it Living Death, because if you touched it, that part of your skin would turn black and shrivel and die. But it only affected the place where you’d touched the plant. That little part of you would be dead, while the rest of you lived. It was necrotic.
I suck in a jagged breath as I picture the emperor rising again. Rising. Because it wasn’t his last stand. He was dead.
And I’d summoned him.
Thank you so much for reading Silk & Iron.