TWENTY-SIX #2
“What about the other guy, from the party—oh my God,” she breathlessly said, pacing up and down, not even sparing me a glance.
“It’s complicated,” I whispered, feeling my chest tighten.
“Complicated?” she blurted out, finally stopping in front of me and when our eyes met, her anger filled eyes softened. “Were you crying just now—Dakota, did he hurt you?”
“No, no no,” I immediately shook my head. “Just let me explain, please,” I choked out, unable to hold back my tears and she engulfed me in her arms.
“Okay, yeah, we’ll talk. Don’t cry, I’m sorry,” she apologized, and I buried my face in her neck. “Oh, D,” she cooed, gently caressing my back.
She broke the hug and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the crowd. She snatched some snacks and an ice slushy for each of us before dragging me to the back behind all the carnival chaos.
We plopped down on the grass and she allowed us to sit in comfortable silence for a second. I kept my gaze low as I munched on some popcorn but could feel her eyes on me every so often as she slurped her slushy.
I inhaled, then slowly exhaled a shaky breath, keeping my eyes down.
“You know I trust you, right?” my voice penetrated the silence, and she nodded. “And you know I tell you everything, right?”
She seemed hesitant, but nodded again.
“But this time it’s different. Complicated. And Solace, I swear if I could tell you, I would,” I assured her, finally meeting her eyes. “But I just can’t…”
“Does he hurt you?” she fearfully asked, reaching over to grab my hand.
“No,” I shook my head. “He doesn’t. It’s just—”
“Complicated,” she half smiled.
“You understand?” I anxiously clutched my hands on my lap and she gave my hand a little squeeze.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I trust you.” My heart swelled with happiness and I smiled, leaning over to wrap my arms around her. “But you know that you can trust me, right?”
We broke the hug, and my nod was instant. “I know that.”
“And if he hurts you, you won’t hesitate to find me?” her eyes narrowed and I nodded again.
“I won’t hesitate,” I shook my head.
“That’s my girl,” she tugged me closer and I plopped down beside her, our backs resting against one of the machines.
We decided that this was exactly where we needed to be right now. On the floor, enjoying snacks away from the rest of the loud world.
We talked for what felt like hours, and eventually, I didn’t feel as horrible as I did when I first got here.
With Logan’s reassurance and Solace not being upset or feeling any type of way about what she saw, I was finally at ease.
My cell phone rang and anxiety pulsed in my neck.
I nervously glanced up at Solace and her brows drew together in confusion.
I showed Logan’s name glowing across my screen and she immediately slammed her hand over her mouth.
“I’m not here,” she whispered and I smiled before answering lifting my cellphone to my ear.
“Logan?”
“Where are you?”
I smiled. “Hiding.”
His voice was a stern warning. “Dakota.”
“I just needed to be alone for a while, why? Do you need me?”
“How are you feeling?”
I sighed, gathering my thoughts. “Much better,” I truthfully answered. “And… Solace isn’t going to tell anyone what she saw,” I hesitantly said, looking up at her and she nodded in confirmation.
“Let Kaden know when you’re ready to leave,” he said and I chewed the inside of my cheek. I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it again. “You can’t come home with me, or Chase,” he explained. “You know that, baby.”
Goosebumps trailed up my neck. “I’ll find him when I’m ready to leave,” I sighed.
“Have fun. I’ll see you at home.”
I smiled, but it faltered. Home. Clearing my throat, I finally said goodbye and ended the call. I tossed my cell phone to the grass, feeling the world on my shoulders again. My home wasn’t a place, it was them. Logan, Chase, and Kaden… but—
“Come on,” Solace got to her feet. She extended her hand toward me as though she could read my saddened mind. “It’s a carnival and we’ve been saved from kissing multiple college guys. Let’s go have some fun,” she grinned, and I couldn’t help but smile as I took her hand.
* * *
The drive back home with Kaden was quiet, and I simply forced myself to stare out of the window.
As soon as we got to the house I headed straight for the shower and got dressed into my pajamas.
I entered Chase’s bedroom as he got into bed, and I quietly shut the door behind myself. “Mr Madden,” I reluctantly said, watching him open his arms.
I hurried over, jumping on top of him, and he wrapped both arms around me instinctively. I straddled his lap, snaking my arms around his neck, as I pulled back to look at him.
“Thank you for saving me from kissing gross college guys,” I playfully smiled.
“You’re welcome,” he tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear.
“You’re not mad at me, are you?” I reluctantly asked, and it was as though he was torn. “You can’t possibly be mad at me,” I groaned, throwing my head back.
A beat passed. “I’m disappointed that you lied to us,” he finally said and I exhaled, nodding. “You can’t lie to us again, Dakota.”
“I won’t,” I assured him. I understood why he was disappointed, and I hated it.
Nervously, I fiddled with my fingers on my lap until he tilted my chin up so that I could meet his eyes. “Talk to me.”
I stayed silent for a while, contemplating, but also trying to find the right words.
“We haven’t really talked after the whole… situation,” I shifted on his lap, chewing the inside of my cheek.
“The situation?” he repeated after me, and I knew he wanted me to be much clearer. I sighed in defeat.
“The whole thing with your ex,” I finally said.
“What about it? Have your feelings changed?” he asked, and I didn’t miss the underlying emotion clinging to his words. Was he… scared? Nervous?
“No,” I shook my head. “I just…” I trailed off, looking down. “Three years, Chase,” I reluctantly said. “And I’m sorry, but you don’t seem like the type of man to jump from one woman to the next. So, it’s just difficult for me—” I cut myself off, hearing my tremulous voice.
“Hey, look at me,” he held me closer. “I don’t have feelings for her anymore. I’ve moved on,” he reassured me, and my stomach churned.
“You did?” I managed to choke out like an idiot, immediately regretting the silly question but he nodded.
“Yes, Dakota. Because my heart is already set on someone else.”
My heart fluttered in my chest at the sincerity in his voice, and when a bashful smile spread across my face, I leaned forward, hiding my face in his chest.
He chuckled, and when I pulled back he cupped the sides of my face with both hands.
Icy blue eyes stared down at me, warming with every passing second.
“You are everything, Dakota. You’re so much more than we thought we needed.
You’ve engraved yourself into my soul and I’d die a thousand deaths to experience even a fraction of your warmth.
No one, not even her, has made me fall this deeply in love. ”
Feeling oddly satisfied, I grinned, glancing away until a thick layer of blush rested across my cheeks. With a fleeting pulse, my eyes shot open, and I looked back at him. Did he just say…
With a trembling hand my pointer finger slightly poked his chest. “You just said…”
“That I love you,” he nodded once, sealing his words.
An explosion of fireworks erupted inside of me. With both hands holding the sides of my face, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and I reveled in his affection.
His thumb brushed across my cheekbone and I smiled up at him. “I love you too, Mr. Madden.”
His arms wrapped around me like a shield of comfort, and I nuzzled my face in the crease of his neck, inhaling his addictive scent.
His hand rested on the back of my head, and he placed a quick kiss on my temple. He was so warm, and everything about him was so genuine that I rarely ever questioned his feelings or intentions. I wanted to stay here forever. Relive this moment over and over again.
He pulled the bed sheets up to my shoulders, and I snuggled into him, basking in his embrace.
Chase brought me a sense of security like no other. His love was stern, yet gentle.
An unsettling feeling stirred in my core when I realized that even though it had been months now, I still had a lot to learn. And it felt frustrating because I kept messing up, and I feared that eventually, they’d get tired of it. Of me.
“I need you to know something,” he said, taking both of my hands in his and I pulled back to look at him.
“We know that this is new to you. And we understand that you’re going to make mistakes.
But that won’t change how we feel about you,” he reassured me, his voice gentle, tender.
“We’ll always be patient with you, Dakota.
And we’re proud of the progress you’ve made. ”
I blinked away tears. “Promise?”
“Yes, I promise,” he lifted my hands to kiss my knuckles. Butterflies.