Chapter Forty-Five Riela
Chapter Forty-Five
Riela
Garrick’s tense expression should’ve worried me, but I was emotionally exhausted, my chest hurt again, and none of the books
I’d read had been helpful in figuring out either my magic or the binding on the door.
The vastness of the library was actually working against us, because there were so many books that might contain the information we needed. Sorting through them was going to take forever.
I needed something faster. “If I focus your magic and give it back to you, can you use it?”
Garrick’s face smoothed into an unreadable mask, but after a moment, he nodded.
“Would it be different than if you used your own magic? You said you couldn’t break the seal because it uses your magic against
you. But what if it was magic I focused?”
Garrick didn’t dismiss the idea outright, but he didn’t congratulate me on my brilliance, either. He stared at me for so long
I figured he wasn’t going to answer, but finally, he sighed and shook his head. “It would be too dangerous for you.”
“How so?”
One corner of his mouth tipped up, but the smile had a bitter edge. “I have a lot of power. If your control slipped, it would
destroy you. Even other Etheri need to be careful when working with sovereigns.”
And I wasn’t Etheri, so I was even more vulnerable. I frowned. “But I channeled your power before and it was fine.” Mostly.
His eyebrows rose. “You rattled my castle with a tiny sip of my power.”
“So let’s rattle the binding on the door.”
Garrick’s expression closed into adamant refusal. “No. Channeling my power isn’t the only problem. As soon as my court finds out that you’re a focus, you’ll be in even greater danger. I won’t risk you. We’ll find another way.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “Fine, then do whatever blood bond needs to happen so I don’t have to be babysat every second
I’m on this side of the door.”
His entire body locked into perfect stillness, then a fierce scowl broke the illusion. “No.”
“That leaves the binding on my magic, but Mar also thinks removing it might kill me.”
Garrick stilled, his face filled with lethal intensity. “How did Lord Mar know that your magic was sealed?”
“He didn’t say.”
“What did he say?”
“A lot of nothing, mostly. But he offered to help me get away from Vastien if I needed it.”
“Did he,” Garrick said, so mildly that my every survival instinct screamed to life—and they all demanded I run away.
“He was just trying to help. You can’t kill him,” I blurted.
“Oh, I definitely can,” Garrick disagreed, and the look on his face made me think he was imagining doing exactly that. “You will not meet with
him again.”
I stiffened in outrage. “That’s not your decision to make.”
“Wrong again, little mage. I told you I would protect you even from yourself. That was not an idle threat.”
“And I told you that I would return without you if I had to. That also wasn’t an idle threat.”
Garrick’s eyes flashed with leashed fury, and he leaned into my space, trying to intimidate me with his superior height. “And
who will protect you when someone like Lord Cainsian decides you would make a nice pet?” he demanded, his voice low.
“Maybe I’ll ask Lord Mar,” I replied flippantly.
It was the wrong thing to say. Garrick’s magic stilled, the breeze died, and it seemed like the entire world was holding its breath.
The Silver King loosened his grip until he held my arm with an exquisite gentleness that felt like a warning.
His voice was like the rumble of an approaching avalanche—terrifying and inescapable.
“If he so much as glances in your direction again, his life will be forfeit.”
“He’s the envoy from the Sapphire Court. His aunt is the queen. You can’t kill him. Swear to me that you won’t kill him because of me.”
Garrick’s eyes went fully silver and his hold gentled further, as if he were afraid of his own strength. “I would do far worse
than that for you, Riela. Do not push me.”
My temper reignited. “Then don’t make absurd demands!”
“Your safety is never absurd. You cut Vastien out of a conversation with a dangerous enemy. Your judgment can’t be trusted.”
“My judgment is just fine!” I snapped. I yanked my hand up to point angrily at him. “You—”
The world tilted and wobbled as I broke Garrick’s hold, and moonlit magic roared like a bonfire beside me. I growled my frustration
into the air. I’d forgotten about the fucking door again, which didn’t exactly lend credence to my claim about my judgment.
I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Maybe this wasn’t entirely bad. We both needed time to calm down and think rationally—and
Garrick couldn’t kill Mar if we were in Edea.
“Riela—” Garrick commanded, his voice a harsh scrape of sound.
I clenched my fist against the urge to stay and fight. If I did, one of us would say something we didn’t mean and make it
so much worse, so I silently stepped off the dais and fervently wished to be in my room. The castle obliged, but it was bound
to be a brief respite. “Please bar the doors and don’t allow anyone inside.”
The room shuddered as the latch rattled. “Riela!” Garrick shouted. “Open the door.”
I pretended not to hear him. Eventually he would get tired and give up, right?
His magic rose and the room shuddered again. “If I’m not allowed to storm off, then neither are you. Talk to me!”
I sighed. Of all the times for him to remember his vow . . .
I didn’t want to be mature and responsible. I wanted to grab him by the front of his tunic and shake him until he listened
to me. I was too frustrated to be reasonable, but the growing storm of moonlit magic refused to be ignored.
“Please don’t let him in,” I murmured to the air. I needed five minutes alone, and I wouldn’t get it with Garrick in my room.
I cautiously opened the door. Garrick stood on the other side, eyes solid silver. He tried to enter and snarled when he couldn’t
step past the doorway.
I eyed him. “What do you want?”
“Why are we back in Edea?”
Of course that was what he cared about. I was only useful as long as I could be used, just like in the village. I laughed
with soft disbelief as my fury and frustration burned down into something small and bitter and sad. “Don’t worry. I’ll take
you back for dinner, Your Highness.”
Garrick gripped either side of the door frame, which did excellent things to his physique. I scoffed at myself for noticing.
“That didn’t answer the question.” He took a deep breath and softened his tone. “Why are we here, Riela?”
“We’re here because you drove me past frustration,” I told him honestly. “I wasn’t intending to return, but now that we’re
here, I just need an hour alone, without pain, and without someone judging me untrustworthy or inadequate or unable to make
my own decisions.”
Garrick’s glare was razor sharp. “Who—”
“You. Vastien. Most of your court, probably. Bria is the only person who’s been unfailingly kind to me, and she’s decided she wants
to keep you.” My laugh sounded unhappy and resentful even to my own ears.
Garrick flinched, but it didn’t make me feel better. I felt hollow and brittle, like a husk left too long in the sun.
I sighed deeply. “I know you’re just trying to keep me safe, and most of the time, I appreciate that. But you can’t make my
decisions for me. I won’t allow it, and I don’t react well to orders. We’ve established this. If you have concerns, talk to me. I’m much more reasonable when I’m not furious.”
His jaw clenched, but he nodded once, sharply.
“I will take you back for dinner. Until then, I would appreciate some time to myself.”
Garrick’s eyes weren’t back to normal yet, and his magic was still high, but he didn’t try to argue. “I will find you when
it is time.”
I wasn’t sure if he’d meant it to sound like a threat, but it did.
He turned and disappeared without another glance.
I took a long bath, changed into a dress nice enough for another horrible dinner, and put Mar’s flower in a vase on my desk.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that Garrick scowled every time he caught sight of it.
That done, I crept down the stairs to the courtyard. Garrick likely knew where I was thanks to the pendant, but he left me
alone, as I’d requested.
Even Vastien was nowhere to be found, and my heart ached. It was what I’d asked for, but loneliness nipped at me. I’d gotten
used to the wolf’s presence, and here, at least, I could pretend he liked me, too.
It took several wrong turns and backtracking to find the tiny, sheltered garden with the moonlight roses. Even with the sun
blazing overhead, the little alcove was cool and shaded. The flowers didn’t glow in the daylight, but their silvery petals
still shimmered against the deep green leaves.
I sank down onto the stone bench tucked into the corner and closed my eyes, letting the scent of flowers and the gentle buzzing
of insects smooth the raw edges of my emotions. I’d needed this.
Two days in Lohka—not even—and I was a disaster. I felt off-balance and wrung out. I hadn’t meant to return here until after dinner, but I didn’t regret the time alone. It had given me time to calm down and think.
Garrick hadn’t ordered me to stay away from Lord Mar solely in an attempt to control me—he was legitimately concerned that
Mar was a threat. And after meeting the Sapphire Court envoy, I wasn’t entirely sure Garrick was wrong. Mar hadn’t made me
feel unsafe, but he was certainly a threat.
The Silver Court was dangerous in ways I didn’t understand, and Garrick didn’t have time to hold my hand. We needed a better
communication method than him issuing orders and me refusing to follow them until we both exploded with frustration.
But change would be difficult. Not only had Garrick vowed to protect me—a vow that was likely driving many of his more frustrating
decisions—but I was also a useful tool, one he very much wanted to keep close.
And while Vastien was charming as he kept me company and watched my every move, he didn’t trust me. I’d hoped Bria would be
a friend, but she, too, had her own agenda.
They all tolerated me for now because I could open the door, but what happened when I broke the binding and they no longer
needed me?
Anxiety tried to drown me, but I pushed it back.
Garrick owed me two favors. I’d use one to find someone who would teach me about my magic, and then I’d use the second to
disappear into the farthest reaches of Lohka with enough money to live the rest of my life in comfort and safety.
Loneliness stabbed me again. I didn’t want to leave Garrick and Vastien and Bria, but I wouldn’t be able to watch as Bria and Garrick lived their perfect life together.
It would break me. And surely there was at least one person in the realm who wouldn’t mind a rich human wife.
I was still contemplating what a life in Lohka might be like when Garrick stepped into the alcove with a bare whisper of sound. His magic was tightly leashed, but I knew exactly where he was without opening my eyes.
“May I join you?” he asked quietly.
I looked at him. He’d changed into a deep gray tunic with black embroidery and he wore both his sword and dagger. He looked
so casually dangerous I wondered how I’d ever thought he was just a normal human mage.
When I nodded, rather than coming toward me, he crossed the small space and gently touched one of his mother’s roses. After
a moment, he turned to me, but he didn’t come any closer.
“You are not untrustworthy or inadequate or unable to make your own decisions,” he said quietly. “And I’m sorry we’ve made
you feel that way—that I’ve made you feel that way.”
He blew out a slow breath. “Everything I’ve done has been in the name of keeping you safe. I’ve been barred from Lohka for
a long time. My court has changed. If they sense a weakness, you’ll be the first to suffer, and the thought of you in danger
brings out all of my worst traits.”
“Bossiness? Murderousness? High-handedness?” I guessed with a straight face.
He glared at me, but there was no ire behind it. “I prefer protectiveness. You are important to me. Not because you’re the key to the door, but because you’re kind and resilient and not afraid to
stand up to me. You’ve made me feel alive and hopeful for the first time in decades.”
My heart leapt at the emotion in the words, but I kept my voice light. “You’re probably wishing I would stand up to you a
little less right about now.”
He met my eyes and shook his head slowly. “No, I’m not.”
Warmth spread through my belly. “I’m not sorry I argued with you, but I am sorry I used Lord Mar as a weapon.” Garrick’s eyes darkened, and I warned, “But you still can’t kill him.”
“What if I just maim him a little?”
“No maiming.”
Garrick slashed a dark grin at me. “No promises.”
After a moment, he sobered and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Unfortunately, I have other news, and as much as I wish the
timing were better, it can’t wait.” His gaze landed on my face with something like sympathy. “I received a message when I
arrived in Lohka earlier.” He paused and his fists clenched. “It was from Feylan.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as my nerves instantly went tight with dread. “What did it say?”
Garrick huffed. “Many things, most useless. But two concerned you.”
“In what way?”
“He now knows your name, likely thanks to a spy in my court. He extended an invitation for you to visit the Blood Court and
swore you would be safe if you accepted.”
“No, thank you,” I murmured.
“That’s not all.” Garrick’s expression darkened. “He vowed to reopen the Silver Court’s door between Edea and Lohka if I gave
you to him.”