Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
The next morning he's at breakfast again.
This time he brings Lily into the conversation, asks her about her mathematics project.
She lights up talking about probability theory and betting pools and the Hiccup Incident.
I watch them talk and something in my chest unknots slightly, the first moment in days where the isolation feels less absolute.
When Lily excuses herself to get more coffee, Nico looks at me.
"She's good for you," he says.
"I know."
"You're lucky to have someone who doesn't care about pack politics."
"I know that too."
He nods and goes back to his eggs. I realize I'm staring at his hands, the way his fingers curl around his fork. I look away before he catches me doing it.
That afternoon there's thunder.
I'm walking back from the library when the first rumble rolls across the sky, low and deep enough to feel in my chest. The air smells like rain and ozone and something wild. I pick up my pace because being caught outside in a storm at Everpine feels unwise.
I'm crossing the quad when I hear footsteps behind me.
"Nova, wait."
I turn. Nico is jogging to catch up, his jacket pulled up against the wind that's started whipping through the courtyard.
"Storm's coming," I say.
"I know. I wanted to show you something before it hits."
"Show me what?"
"You have to trust me." He holds out his hand.
I look at his hand and then at his face and thunder rolls again, closer this time.
I shouldn't trust him. I know I shouldn't trust him.
But his eyes are steady and something in me wants to believe that the person who stood up to Eddie Thorne for me isn't the same person who stood in that chapel in a mask.
I take his hand.
His fingers close around mine and he grins, and then we're running.
He pulls me across the quad and down the hill toward the tree line. I'm laughing because the wind is wild, the sky darkening, and this is objectively stupid. I don't care. We hit the forest and keep going, branches whipping past us. He doesn't let go of my hand.
We come out in a clearing I've never seen before.
There's a stone circle here, old and weathered, half-reclaimed by moss and vines. In the center there's a marker, carved with symbols I don't recognize, and when I step closer I can feel something humming underneath the ground.
"What is this?" I ask.
"An old pack boundary marker. Pre-Academy.
" He's still holding my hand and he doesn't let go as he walks me closer to the center.
"My grandfather told me about it. Said his grandfather used to bring him here when he was young, told him stories about the packs that ran these mountains before the Council consolidated everything. "
"Why are you showing me this?"
He looks at me and something in his expression shifts. "Because I wanted you to see something that's mine. Something I don't share with anyone else."
Thunder cracks overhead and the first drops of rain start falling.
I should pull away. Should run back to the dormitory before we're both soaked. Instead I stand there with rain starting to soak through my shirt and Nico Rossi's hand warm around mine.
"We should go," I say, but I don't move.
"Yeah." He doesn't move either.
The rain picks up, fat drops turning into a downpour in seconds. I'm laughing again because this is insane, my hair plastered to my face, and Nico is looking at me like I'm something he didn't expect to find.
He steps closer.
His free hand comes up to brush wet hair out of my face and his thumb traces my cheekbone and I stop breathing.
"Nova," he says, and his voice is rough.
He leans in and I meet him halfway.
His mouth is warm despite the cold rain and he kisses me like he's been thinking about it, like he's been holding himself back and he's done holding back.
His hand tangles in my wet hair. I grab the front of his soaked shirt and pull him closer.
When his tongue touches mine something electric shoots down my spine.
His other arm goes around my waist, hauling me against him. I can feel the length of his body pressed to mine, all lean muscle and contained strength. The kiss deepens. I make a sound I don't recognize, something needy and wanting, and his grip tightens.
Rain pours down around us and nothing else matters. The cold, the thunder rolling overhead, everything fades except the way his mouth moves on mine, the way his hands feel on my body, the warmth spreading through me.
He pulls back just enough to breathe, his lips still close enough that I can feel his exhale against my mouth, both of us panting.
"I've wanted to do that for days," he says.
I look at him through the rain, at his eyes dark with something I recognize, and confusion wars with want in my chest.
"We should get back," I say, but my voice comes out breathless.
"We should."
Neither of us moves.
Then thunder cracks again, close enough to make me jump. The spell breaks. I step back and his hands fall away. We stand there in the rain staring at each other.
He grabs my hand and pulls me back toward the Academy.
We're both laughing by the time we hit the quad, soaked to the skin and gasping. When we reach the steps to the girls' dormitory I stop and turn to face him.
He's looking at me like he's trying to memorize my face.
"Nico," I say.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For showing me that place."
"Thank you for trusting me enough to come." He reaches out and tucks a strand of wet hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering against my jaw. "Get dry before you catch a cold."
"You too."
He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead, soft and lingering. Then he steps back.
"Goodnight, Nova."
"Goodnight."
I watch him walk away through the rain, and when I turn to go inside Lily is standing in the doorway with her eyes wide.
"What?" I ask.
"You and Nico Rossi?"
"I don't know what that was."
"That was definitely something." She grins. "Get inside before you freeze."
I follow her up to our room and I'm shivering by the time I peel off my soaked clothes, but underneath the cold there's something warm coiling in my chest, something that feels dangerously close to hope.
Two hours later there's a knock at my door.
I've changed into dry clothes, sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, and I'm toweling my hair when I hear it. Lily's in the shower. I cross to the door and open it.
Nico is standing in the hallway.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, glancing down the corridor.
"I wanted to see you again." He's changed too, dry jeans and a dark henley, his hair still damp.
"How did you get past the dorm supervisor?"
A small smile. "I know how to sneak in."
"Nico."
"Can I come in? Before someone catches me?"
I should say no. I should close the door and tell him to leave and maintain some kind of boundary. Instead I step aside and let him in.
He walks into my room and stops, looking around.
It's sparse compared to what I imagine his room looks like.
My side of the space has my desk with Professor Harmon's books stacked on it, my bed with its plain grey comforter, the small shelf with the few things I brought from home.
A framed photo of my aunt. My mother's necklace on the nightstand.
His eyes rest on me and something in his expression softens.
He crosses the room and kisses me.
I kiss him back, my hands finding his chest, and for a moment I forget everything except the way his mouth feels on mine. Then I pull back.
"Lily will be out soon," I say. "She's just in the shower."
"I understand." He steps back but doesn't leave, his eyes moving around the room again. He walks to my desk and picks up one of Professor Harmon's books. "Heavy reading."
"He assigns a lot."
"He does." He sets it down and looks at the photo on my shelf. "Your aunt?"
"Yeah."
"You look like her."
Something in my throat tightens. "People used to say that."
He turns to face me. "Tell me about her?"
I deflect, keeping this surface level, but he waits and something in his expression is patient enough that I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed. He sits beside me, close enough that our knees almost touch.
"She was careful," I say. "Methodical. She had a garden she loved, grew vegetables and herbs, and she made me help her weed it every summer.
" I smile at the memory. "I hated it at the time.
Now I'd give anything to be back there pulling up dandelions while she told me which plants were good for what. "
"She sounds like she cared about you."
"She did. More than I probably deserved." I look at my hands. "She left me a letter. Instructions. Things I needed to know after she was gone. She must have written it before she knew she was dying, or before she admitted it to herself."
"That takes a lot of love," Nico says quietly. "Planning for things you can't prevent."
I nod and something hot presses behind my eyes. "I miss her. I miss home. I miss knowing where I fit."
"You don't feel like you fit here?"
"How could I?" The words come out sharper than I intended. "Everyone here has a pack, a bloodline, a place. I'm barely a shifter. No shift, no ability to defend myself, nothing except being a target for the Dominion to practice on."
"You're not just a target."
"Then what am I?" I look at him. "You're Dominion. You stood in that chapel with a mask on and interrogated me. From where I'm sitting, that's all anyone here sees. Something to test. Something to break."
His hand finds mine. "I see you."
My breath catches.
His other hand comes up to cup my face and he kisses me again, slower this time, and when he pulls back his eyes are dark.
"You're stronger than you think," he says. "And you're not alone."
His hand slides from my knee to my thigh, fingers pressing against the fabric of my sweatpants, and heat floods through me. My breath catches and his eyes track the movement of my throat.