Chapter 12 #2
"You should be." He pulls back just enough to look at me. His hand slides from my arm to my throat, not squeezing, just resting there with his palm warm against my pulse. "And you're wet."
Heat floods my face. "What?"
"I can smell your arousal." He says it matter-of-factly, like he's commenting on the weather. "Do you have any idea what that does to me?"
I do gasp now, embarrassment mixing with something else that I don't want to name. "I'm not doing anything."
His hand tightens slightly on my throat, not enough to hurt but enough that I feel it. "That's what makes it worse." His other hand leaves the wall and starts to move down, fingers trailing along my collarbone. "You don't even know what you are. What's happening to you."
"Then tell me." My voice comes out shakier than I want it to.
He stops, his hand frozen at the base of my throat. For a long moment he just stares at me and I can see him fighting something internal, some battle between what he wants to do and what he knows he should do.
"Do you know what you're doing to me?" he asks again, and this time it sounds almost pained.
I shake my head because I genuinely don't understand any of this.
His hand clenches into a fist against the wall and he steps back abruptly, putting space between us. "Stay away from me, Nova." He runs his other hand through his hair, messing it up. "For both our sakes, just stay away."
"I don't understand."
"I know." He looks at me one more time and there's something in his expression that looks like hunger and frustration and want all mixed together. "That's the problem."
He turns and walks out of the classroom, leaving me alone with my back against the wall and my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. I can still feel where his hand was on my throat. Can still smell him on my skin. Can still feel the heat of him even though he's gone.
I don't move for a full minute. Just stand there trying to process what happened. He said my scent changed, that every male could smell my arousal, that I don't know what's happening to me.
He's right. I don't.
But I need to find out.
I skip my morning classes and go to the library instead.
The Academy library is old stone and dark wood, three floors of books and quiet spaces where students go to study or hide or both.
I head straight for the section on shifter biology because if my body is doing something wolf-related, maybe the answers are there.
The books are old, leather-bound things with titles like "Lycanthrope Physiology" and "The Biology of the Shift." I pull down the most clinical-looking one and find a table in the back corner where no one will see me.
The first chapter is about the shift itself, which I skip because I haven't managed that yet. The second chapter is about pack dynamics and hierarchy, which I already understand more than I want to. The third chapter is titled "Reproductive Cycles and Heat."
My face burns just reading the heading but I make myself keep going.
Heat cycles in female shifters typically begin between ages sixteen and twenty, triggered by proximity to potential mates and the onset of sexual maturity.
The cycle lasts three to five days and occurs monthly once established.
While standard shifters experience monthly heats, wolves with multiple fated mates may experience highly erratic and frequent heat cycles until all mate bonds are fully completed.
During heat, the female's scent changes dramatically, broadcasting her fertility and availability to unmated males within a wide radius.
Physical symptoms include elevated body temperature, heightened sensitivity to touch, increased arousal, and a biological urge to seek out potential mates.
I have to stop reading and put my head in my hands.
That's what this is. Why I woke up too hot, why my skin feels hypersensitive, why every male in the dining hall reacted to me like that. My body is broadcasting something I didn't consent to, calling to them in a language I don't even speak.
I keep reading even though I want to stop.
Unmated males within proximity will experience heightened aggression, possessiveness, and sexual drive in response to a female's heat scent.
Mate recognition often occurs during a female's first heat, as the biological compatibility becomes impossible to ignore.
Males will feel compelled to protect, claim, and mate with the female, though the strength of this compulsion varies based on individual compatibility and mate bond potential.
I close the book because I can't read anymore. Can't process what this means.
Caspian smelled me and couldn't stay away. Knox froze like a predator locking onto prey. Nico looked at me with hunger. Professor Harmon walked out of the dining hall without finishing his breakfast.
I'm broadcasting something I don't understand to males who understand it perfectly, and I have no idea how to make it stop.
I need to go back to my dorm and hide until this passes. I need to not be around anyone who might react to whatever my body is doing.
I put the book back and head for the exit, but when I get to the library doors I can see through the glass that Knox is standing outside.
Not moving, not pretending to be there for another reason.
Just standing there in the hallway, positioned where he can see both the library entrance and the corridor beyond.
Watching. Waiting.
I back away from the door before he can see me and head for the other exit on the far side of the library. My hands are shaking. My whole body feels wrong, hot and restless and aching in places that shouldn't ache.
I make it back to my dorm without running into anyone else. I lock the door behind me and lean against it, sliding down until I'm sitting on the floor.
Three to five days, the book said. This is going to last three to five days.
I pull my knees up to my chest and try to figure out how I'm supposed to survive this when I barely survived the first morning.