Chapter 26 #2
Wolf strength makes easy work of the brick wall. He finds handholds in the mortar, pulls himself up with measured power. Within seconds he's at my window, hands gripping the sill where mine were moments ago.
I step back and he pulls himself through, dropping silently to my floor.
I should be afraid. Male in my room, middle of night, me in heat and vulnerable. But fear is the last thing I feel looking at him.
"You shouldn't be here," I say. My voice comes out breathy and desperate.
"I know." He straightens to his full height, towering over me in the darkness.
The moonlight from the window catches his face and I see his eyes are completely amber now.
No brown left. Wolf at the surface, barely contained.
"Your scent is everywhere, spreading across campus from this open window.
I tried to stay away, tried to give you space, but I can't think anymore.
I can't breathe. All I can do is follow the pull that's dragging me here. "
"You need to leave." Even as I say it, I'm moving toward him.
"I know." He doesn't move. Doesn't look away. His chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. "Tell me to go, Nova. Send me away right now and I'll leave. I'll climb back out that window and I won't come back."
I open my mouth but the words won't come, and I realize I can't send him away because my body won't let me.
"Then I'm not leaving," he growls, and the Alpha command in his voice makes my knees weak.
He crosses the small room in two strides and I back up until my legs hit the edge of my bed. This close, I can smell him. Cedar and smoke, Alpha musk that makes my wolf keen with recognition and desperate need.
Mate.
"I can help," he says, voice rough and strained. "Without claiming you. Without completing the bond. Not yet. Not when you're not in control of yourself."
"I don't want your help." The lie is obvious. We both know it.
"Yes, you do." His nose traces along my throat, breathing me in deeply. I feel him shudder against me. "You're burning up. Aching everywhere. Your fingers aren't enough, are they? Can't give you what you really need."
My breath hitches. "Caspian..."
"I can give you what you need." His lips brush my ear, making me shiver. "Make the ache go away. Just for a while. Give you relief without taking anything you're not ready to give. No claiming. No bond completion. Just pleasure."
"That's not how heat works." I'm trembling now, caught between his body and the window. "It won't be enough. Touch won't satisfy it. I'll just want more."
"Then I'll give you more." He pulls back enough to meet my eyes. "As much as you can take. Until morning comes and you're thinking clearly again."
"And then what?"
"Then I leave." Something fierce and possessive crosses his face. "When I claim you, it won't be because you're in heat and desperate. It'll be because you came to me with a clear head. Chose me. Wanted me specifically, not just any Alpha who could end the burning."
The words break something inside me. I surge forward and close the distance between us, my hands fisting in his shirt as I pull him down to me.
Our lips crash together and he responds instantly, a growl rumbling deep in his chest. His mouth claims mine, tongue sliding past my lips to taste me.
I moan into the kiss and he swallows the sound greedily, one hand sliding into my hair to hold me exactly where he wants me.
His hands move to my waist and lift me effortlessly off my feet.
I wrap my legs around him and he carries me to the bed.
We fall onto the mattress together, his weight pressing me into the sheets. He braces himself above me, jaw tight, gaze searching my flushed face.
"Tell me to stop," he says, giving me one last chance.
I think about Sera. About her slap still burning on my cheek. About her claim on him, the arranged marriage, how she looked at me like I was stealing something that belonged to her. I should say no just to spite her, should send him away to prove I'm not what she thinks I am.
But then I look at him and none of that matters. This is my choice. Not Sera's. Not some family arrangement made when they were children. Mine.
"Don't you dare stop."
His lips crash against mine again, harder than before, all pretense of gentleness gone.
He kisses me like he's claiming me, like he's marking his territory, tongue demanding entrance.
I give it eagerly. One hand slides under my tank top and his rough palm finds my breast, thumb brushing over my nipple until it hardens beneath his touch.
I arch into him and he makes a satisfied sound deep in his throat.
"So responsive," he says against my mouth, voice rough. "So perfect for me."
His hand slides lower, tracing down my stomach. Under the waistband of my shorts. Finding me already wet and ready, slick with need.
"Fuck, Nova." The curse is reverent, awed. "You're soaked. All this for me?"
"Please." I don't even know what I'm begging for anymore. Just need more of whatever he's willing to give. "Please, Cas, I need..."
"I know what you need." His fingers circle slowly, teasingly light. I grind against his hand and he chuckles darkly. "Patience, little wolf."
"I don't want patience. I want you inside me."
"You have me." He slides one finger inside and I cry out at the invasion. "Right here. Exactly where you need me."
Then two fingers, stretching me. I'm so wet they slide in easily but it's still not enough. The heat demands more. Demands to be filled completely, claimed thoroughly, bonded permanently.
He starts slowly, fingers curling to find the sensitive spot inside that makes my breath catch and my hips buck against his hand.
His thumb finds my clit and circles with just enough pressure to make me whimper.
Every nerve ending is on fire, the heat channeling into this singular point of pleasure building between my legs.
"That's it," he says, voice rough with his own need. "Let go for me. Come on my fingers, little wolf."
The Alpha command threads through his words and something in me responds instinctively, my body tightening around his fingers.
The pressure builds higher and higher until I can't breathe, can't think, can only feel the wave cresting.
His thumb presses harder, his fingers curl deeper.
I shatter, back arching off the bed as the orgasm rips through me.
I cry out his name into the darkness and clench around his fingers, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through my body until I'm shaking with it.
He keeps his fingers moving through it, drawing out every wave of pleasure until my muscles go slack and I'm left trembling against the sheets, breathing hard.
When the aftershocks finally fade and I can focus again, I find him watching me.
His jaw is tight with the effort of holding himself back, chest rising and falling too fast.
"Better?" he asks, and his voice comes out strained.
"For now." My breathing is still ragged and my heart pounds against my ribs.
"It'll come back," he says, and I hear the knowledge in his voice. Heat doesn't end with one orgasm, won't be satisfied until the bond completes.
"I know." Already I can feel it building again, the temporary relief fading. "Stay. Please stay."
"I can't." He withdraws his hand slowly and I make a sound of protest. He brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting me, and the sight makes fresh heat pool low in my belly. "Fuck, you taste incredible."
I reach for him, wanting to touch, wanting to give him the same pleasure he gave me. But he catches my wrists gently, stopping me.
"No," he says.
"Why not? Let me touch you."
"Because if you touch me, I won't be able to stop." He's shaking with the effort of holding back. I can see how hard he is, straining against his jeans. "And I'm not claiming you like this."
"I want you to." The heat is already demanding more. "Please, Cas. I need you."
"You want the heat to end." He releases my wrists and rolls away to sit on the edge of the bed, putting distance between us. "That's not the same thing as wanting me."
I sit up, frustrated and aching. "What's the difference?"
"The difference is that when I claim you, I want you making that choice with a clear head." He stands, adjusting himself with a grimace. "Not because biology is demanding it. Not because you're desperate and I'm here and available."
"That's all mate bonds are anyway. Biology."
"No." He turns to face me and the low vibration in his chest steals my breath. "They're choice too. You could resist the pull if you wanted. Fight it. Run from it. The fact that you don't, that you let yourself feel it, that's the choice. That's what matters."
"And you're choosing to walk away."
"I'm choosing to wait." He crosses back to me, cups my face in his hands.
His touch is gentle despite the tremor running through him.
"When I claim you, Nova, it won't be because you were in heat and desperate for any male who could end the ache.
It'll be because you came to me specifically.
Because you asked for it. Because you wanted me, Caspian, not just an Alpha. "
He kisses me once more, his lips claiming mine with a thoroughness that makes my toes curl. His tongue slides against mine and I taste myself on him, the intimacy of it making heat pool low in my belly again. When he pulls back, we're both breathing hard.
"When you're ready," he says against my lips, "you'll come to me. And I'll give you everything. Every part of me. Forever."
Then he's moving to the window. Climbing back out into the night with the same easy strength he used to climb up. I watch him descend the brick wall and disappear into the shadows between buildings.
I'm alone again.
The heat builds immediately, worse now that I know what his hands feel like. What his fingers can do. What I'm missing by not letting him complete the bond.
I fall back onto the bed, skin burning. My hand slides down my body without conscious thought, trying to ease the ache he left behind.
I think about Caspian. About how he treated me when I first arrived.
The cruelty, the dominance games, how he made me feel small.
And now this. Climbing through my window to give me pleasure without taking anything for himself.
Walking away to protect my choice. How did we get here?
How did the male who tortured me become someone I trust enough to let touch me like this?
My fingers move between my legs, working the same path his took. I think of how he looked at me, how he touched me like I was precious, how he walked away to prove this is about more than just heat.
But my thoughts don't stay with Caspian alone.
Julian. Somewhere on campus, lying awake, feeling my arousal through our completed bond. Fighting the urge to come to me.
Knox. Watching from the shadows somewhere. Feeling the pull even as he keeps his distance.
I work myself with increasing desperation, my hips lifting off the bed as I chase the release that won't fully satisfy.
The heat demands completion, demands bonds, demands all of them.
My fingers move faster and the pressure builds until I'm crying out into my empty room, body clenching around nothing as I come again.
But it's not enough. Won't be enough until I stop fighting what I am.
Eventually exhaustion wins over heat and I drift into fitful sleep, skin still feverish, body still aching.