Chapter 27 #2
I slip inside and he closes the door behind me, turning the lock with a sharp click. For a moment we just stand there, the bond vibrating between us like a live wire. His jaw is tight and his hands are clenched at his sides like he's physically restraining himself from reaching for me.
"Last night," he says quietly, and his voice is rougher than it was in the classroom. "I felt every second of it."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize." He moves closer and I can see the exhaustion in his face now, the strain of fighting the bond all night. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Tired, but fine."
"And Caspian?" His jaw tightens even more and I feel a flash of jealousy through the bond before he locks it down. "I felt him there. Felt what he did."
"He helped me through the worst of it. Then he left."
"He left." Julian's eyes search mine and I see surprise there, mixed with reluctant respect. "Why?"
"Because he wanted me to choose him with a clear head. Not because of heat."
Something shifts in Julian's expression.
"That's more control than I expected from an Alpha his age.
" He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up, and for the first time since I walked in he looks less like a professor and more like a man struggling with impossible circumstances.
"This is already complicated enough. But if he's proving he can control himself, if he's not just acting on instinct. .."
"It means he's serious about this," I finish.
"Yes." He moves to his desk, puts distance between us like he doesn't trust himself to stay close. "Which brings us to our other problem. The one that could get me expelled. Or worse."
"He surprised me too."
We stand there in the small space of his office and the bond pulls tight between us. I want to touch him but I don't. This is already dangerous enough without making it worse.
"I need to tell you something," I say. "About the bonds."
"The multiple bonds. You said Silverpelt can have up to four."
"Yes, but..." I take a breath. "Right now there are three. You, Caspian, and Knox. There's a fourth bond but it's broken. Contaminated. Nico."
Julian's expression shifts. "The one who betrayed you."
"Yes. The bond tried to form while he was lying to me and it twisted somehow. I can feel it there but it's wrong. Painful." I wrap my arms around myself. "And I don't know if I can forgive him. Don't know if I want to fix it even if it's possible."
"So three mates," Julian says carefully. "For now."
"Three that I'm ready to accept. Caspian doesn't know about you yet. He knows there are multiple bonds possible but he doesn't know one of them is you."
Julian goes still and I feel a spike of fear through the bond. "You haven't told him I'm his competition?"
"You're not competition. You're my mate. He's my mate. It's not a competition."
"Tell that to an Alpha wolf." He moves to the window, staring out at the darkened grounds.
"This is going to be a disaster, Nova. When he finds out I'm one of the four, that I claimed you first, that I'm staff.
.." He turns back to face me. "Do you understand what that means?
I could be expelled from the Academy. Stripped of my teaching credentials.
The Council could investigate me for inappropriate relationships with a student.
At best I lose my career. At worst..." He doesn't finish but I feel his fear through the bond.
The Council doesn't take kindly to rule-breaking, especially not from those who should know better.
"Then we keep it secret," I say.
"Can we? With two other males circling you? With Caspian's Alpha instincts demanding he know who his competition is?" Julian shakes his head. "The moment he finds out, everything could fall apart. He could report me out of jealousy. Or someone else could notice and use it against us."
"He wouldn't. He cares about me."
"He's an Alpha." Julian's voice is gentle but firm. "When they perceive a threat to their mate, they don't think rationally. They act on instinct. And a professor claiming their mate? That's not just a threat, that's a violation of every rule he's been taught to respect."
"Then I'll make him understand." I square my shoulders. "I'm not giving you up and I'm not giving him up. He needs to accept that."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Then..." I hesitate because I'm not actually sure. Can I really walk away from Caspian if he can't accept Julian? Can I demand he share me with someone who could lose everything if our relationship is discovered?
Julian sees my hesitation. "When are you going to tell him?"
"Soon. I have to." I move toward the door but stop before opening it. "I need to talk to all of you together. Soon. Before this gets more complicated."
"Do you want me there when you tell him first?"
"No. This needs to be between him and me." I pause. "But after... I want everyone together. To figure this out."
"Nova." He stops me before I can open the door. "Be careful. Caspian's young but he's powerful. And protective. Finding out about us could trigger reactions you're not prepared for."
"I know." And I do. I'm asking an Alpha to share his mate with a professor who could lose everything if they're discovered.
I'm asking Knox to join something when he doesn't do connection.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, there's still Nico's broken bond aching like an infected wound that I don't know how to heal. I don't know if any of this can work.
But I have to try.
I leave his office and head to the training hall, needing to work off the nervous energy building in my chest.
The training hall isn't empty when I arrive.
Knox is already there, working through a combat sequence against the practice dummy with focused violence.
Each strike exact, each movement deadly.
I watch him for a moment before he notices me and I understand what everyone means when they say he's dangerous.
This isn't sparring. This is someone who knows exactly how to hurt people and has done it before.
He stops mid-strike and turns to face me. "Heat's over."
"Yes."
"Good." He circles me and there's something predatory in the movement. "You look like hell."
"Thanks. You're always so charming."
"I'm honest." He stops in front of me. "How do you feel?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"Because heat takes a toll. Especially Silverpelt heat." His pale eyes are unsettling, like he's cataloging every reaction I have. "I felt the pull last night. Spent hours fighting the urge to break down your door."
I stare at him. "You did?"
"The bond wants to form. Whether I want it to or not.
" He doesn't look happy about this. Looks dangerous about it, like a wolf backed into a corner.
"I don't do connection. Don't do anything that makes me vulnerable.
But my wolf doesn't care what I want. It recognized you and it wants to claim you. "
"Knox..."
"I'm not saying I'm ready for that." He cuts me off and the edge in his voice makes me take a half-step back. "I'm saying the pull is there. And ignoring it is getting harder. Makes me unpredictable."
"I'm not asking you to do anything you don't want."
"Aren't you?" He moves closer, invading my space intentionally. "Because you are what you are. Silverpelt. And my wolf knows you're supposed to be mine. Fighting that is like fighting instinct itself."
"So don't fight it."
"I have to." His voice drops and there's something feral in his eyes.
"You don't understand what I am. The things I've done.
I'm not like Caspian with his noble Alpha control.
I'm the wolf they send when they need someone hurt.
When they need someone who won't hesitate. Getting close to you puts you at risk."
"From what?"
"From me." He says it simply, and the cold certainty in his voice makes my survival instincts prickle. "I don't know how to be anything but dangerous."
"I don't need gentle. I need honest."
He studies me for a long moment, something shifting in his expression. "You really mean that."
"Yes."
He shakes his head slowly. "You're either brave or stupid."
"Maybe both."
Almost a smile. Just a slight lift at the corner of his mouth, there and gone. "Maybe."
He moves past me to the practice dummy and demonstrates the proper striking form. I watch and copy, and he corrects my stance with touches that are careful but firm.
We train in silence for twenty minutes before he speaks again.
"Caspian's going to be a problem," he says.
"Why?"
"Alpha instinct. He's going to want to know who else is competing for you." Knox glances at me. "And he won't react well to sharing."
"Then he'll have to learn."
"Will he?" Knox's eyes are sharp. "Alphas don't compromise easily. Especially not about mates."
"I'm not asking him to compromise. I'm asking him to accept reality."
"Reality being that you want more than just him."
"Yes." I don't apologize for it.
I send the message at eleven that night, sitting on my bed with my phone in my hands and my heart racing. The text is short and direct because I don't know what else to say.
Old chapel. Midnight. Important.
I send it to three people. Caspian. Knox. Julian.
I don't send it to Nico. I'm not ready for that yet, not ready to include him in this when I'm still struggling to forgive his betrayal. The broken bond between us aches but I can't accept it, can't accept him, not when I don't know if I can trust him.
I don't know if they'll all come and I don't know if this is a terrible idea. But I can't keep dancing around this anymore.
The chapel is dark when I arrive, moonlight streaming through the broken windows and casting shadows across the old stone floor. I've been here before, that first day when Nico brought me here and everything started falling apart.
It feels fitting to bring it full circle.
I'm pacing near the altar when I hear footsteps.