Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I'm walking back from History class the next afternoon when Caspian falls into step beside me without asking, his shoulder brushing mine.
Every student we pass stops and stares. Something in my chest pulls tight and I know the incomplete bond is trying to form, trying to connect us as Julian and I are connected.
"Training. Tonight." His voice carries just enough that nearby students hear. "Private session. Seven pm."
My stomach flips. "I can train alone."
"You can. But you won't." There's a roughness in his voice that wasn't there a moment ago. "If you're under my protection, I need to know you can defend yourself when I'm not there."
It's logical. Reasonable. Also completely transparent.
"This isn't about training," I say quietly.
"No." He doesn't bother denying it. "But we're going to train anyway. And whatever else happens..." He leans closer and his breath ghosts across my ear. "That's between us."
Heat floods through me and I hate how my body responds to him, how just his proximity makes my pulse race and my thighs clench together. The memory of his hand around my throat in the Dominion meeting is burned into my brain.
"Seven pm," he says again, then walks away before I can argue.
I watch him go and know I'm going to show up, know I want to show up despite every reason I shouldn't.
The private training room is in the Dominion wing. He texted me the room number an hour ago, nothing else. Just: Room 7. Don't be late.
When I arrive at the right door, the incomplete bond flares in recognition. He's inside. Waiting.
The room is exactly what he promised - mats on the floor, weapons on the walls, enough space to do damage. No random students wandering past. Just us.
Caspian is wearing training clothes that do nothing to hide the muscles underneath. He's taping his hands and doesn't look up when I enter.
"You're late."
"By two minutes."
"Still late." He finishes with the tape and finally meets my eyes. "Warm up. Then we spar."
I drop my bag and start stretching, hyperaware of him watching. I can feel his attention tracking over my body as I move through the motions.
When I'm done, I turn to face him. "Hand to hand?"
"Hand to hand." He moves to the center of the mat. "No shifting. No weapons. Just you and me."
I join him and we circle each other slowly. He's bigger, stronger, faster. I know this. But I've learned to be unpredictable and that's my only advantage.
He strikes first, testing my reflexes. I block and counter, aiming for his ribs. He deflects easily and comes at me again, harder this time. We trade blows, neither of us landing anything solid yet, both assessing and learning how the other moves.
Then he gets serious.
He's fast for his size and when he moves, it's with the violence of a male trained since childhood. He catches my wrist mid-strike, uses my momentum against me. I'm spinning. My back hits his chest and his arm wraps around my waist, pinning me against him.
"Dead," he says against my ear. "If I wanted you dead."
I can feel every inch of him pressed against me and the contact sends electricity racing down my spine. His chest rises and falls against my back, both of us breathing hard from the exertion. I should reverse out of this hold, should use the technique he taught me weeks ago.
Instead I go still.
His arm tightens fractionally around my waist and I feel him inhale, scenting me. "This is where you counter," he says, voice rougher than before.
I turn my head and look at him over my shoulder. "Is it?"
His other hand comes to my hip and grips hard enough to leave marks. "Nova." My name sounds raw.
I push back against him and feel him hard through his training pants. The sound that rumbles out of his chest is pure wolf, barely restrained dominance trying to claw its way free.
"You're playing with fire," he growls.
"Maybe I want to burn."
That breaks something in him. He spins me to face him fast enough to make me dizzy and cages me against the wall, hands on either side of my head. His canines have dropped, just slightly, just enough. "You don't know what you're asking for."
"Then show me."
His mouth crashes against mine and there's nothing gentle about it.
This is pure claiming, possession barely restrained.
His tongue demands entry and I give it, opening for him while my hands grip his t-shirt.
He tastes like mint and Alpha and something darker that makes my wolf surge to the surface.
One hand slides into my hair and grips, tilting my head back so he can deepen the kiss. The other finds my waist and hauls me closer until there's no space between us. I can feel every hard plane of his body pressed against mine. It's not enough.
I wrap my leg around his hip and he groans into my mouth, grinding against me. Stars explode behind my eyes from the friction. It's maddening, not nearly enough through our clothes. I want skin, his hands on me without barriers, him inside me making good on every promise in his eyes.
He breaks the kiss to drag his mouth down my throat and I tilt my head back, giving him access. His teeth scrape over my pulse point and my entire body goes liquid with want.
"Caspian," I gasp.
He bites down, not hard enough to break skin but hard enough to mark. To claim. I cry out and my hips buck against him seeking more friction, more pressure, more everything.
His hand slides under my t-shirt and finds my breast, thumb brushing over my nipple through my sports bra. The touch sends lightning straight to my core and I'm so wet I can feel it soaking through my underwear. He'll be able to scent it and know exactly how much I want this.
Good. Let him know.
I reach for the waistband of his pants and he catches my wrist, pinning it against the wall above my head. "Don't."
"Why not?"
He's breathing hard, pupils blown so wide there's barely any amber left. "Because if you touch me right now, I won't stop. And we're doing this my way or not at all."
"Your way?"
He releases me and steps back, putting space between us and running his hands through his hair. I can see them shaking slightly. "Not like this. Not rushed against a wall in a training room where anyone with a key could walk in."
I'm still pressed against the wall, body aching, mind spinning. "Caspian..."
"When I claim you," he says, and his voice is absolute, "it won't be quick. It won't be quiet. It'll be in my bed where I can take my time with you. All night. Multiple times. And when I'm done, you'll wear my marks for everyone to see." His eyes burn into mine. "Are you ready for that?"
The question lands like a physical blow. Am I ready? Ready for everyone to know? Ready for the permanence of a claiming bite? Ready for the bond to complete and tie me to him forever?
I want him. That's not the question. I want his hands on me, his body claiming mine, his teeth in my throat marking me as his. But wanting and being ready aren't the same thing.
He sees my hesitation and nods slowly. "That's what I thought." He's not angry, just patient. Waiting. "When you're ready, you come to me. Not before."
"And if I'm not ready?"
"Then I'll wait." He moves toward the door. "However long it takes. But make no mistake, Nova. You're mine. Everyone already knows it. This is just making it official."
He leaves and I slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the mat, legs shaking, body on fire. The ache between my thighs is almost painful and I press my hand there, trying to ease the pressure. It doesn't help.
I want him. I'm terrified of what that means. And I don't know how much longer I can keep saying no when my body is screaming yes.
I make it back to my dorm somehow, legs still unsteady, skin still flushed. Lily takes one look at me and raises her eyebrows.
"Training go well?"
"Fine," I manage.
She doesn't look convinced but she doesn't push. Just goes back to getting ready for Emma's birthday thing. Some small gathering in the senior dorms that'll probably run late.
Around eleven pm, after Lily's left and I'm alone, I feel Julian through the bond.
He's outside. Agitated. The emotions bleeding through our connection are sharp and jagged - jealousy, need, possessiveness. He felt what happened with Caspian. Felt me wanting someone else while he has to stay hidden.
I should tell him to go away, should not make this harder on both of us, but instead I open the window and gesture for him to come up.
He climbs the wall like he's done it before and slips through my window without making a sound. The moment he's inside, the bond snaps tight between us and I can feel everything he's feeling. Jealousy so sharp it cuts, need so deep it aches, all tangled up with love and rage and desperation.
"I felt you today," he says quietly, not moving from his spot by the window. "With him. Through the bond. Felt you wanting him."
"Julian..."
"I know this is necessary. The protection.
The public claim. Him circling you like you're his.
" He finally looks at me and his eyes are dark with barely restrained emotion.
"But feeling you want him while I have to stay hidden, while I have to pretend you're just another student.
.." His hands clench at his sides. "It's killing me. "
I cross to him and touch his face. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." He catches my hand and presses it against his chest. His heart is racing. "Just let me have this. Tonight. Hidden in the dark where no one can see. Let me pretend you're only mine."
It's sad and desperate and unfair to both of us, but I need it too, need to feel him and remind myself that Caspian's public claim doesn't erase what Julian and I have.