4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Charity
I just want to feel worth something, for once. -Charity
Annie’s emerald eyes dance with merriment as she claps her hands together. “Oh my God, I never thought this day would happen! My best friend is ready to date a guy! She’s ready to lay it all out there and actually date.” She lets out a squeal that threatens to bust one of my eardrums.
I put my hands over my ears and send her a solemn look. “I said nothing about dating. I said I needed to seduce someone.”
Her grin falls. “What do you mean you don’t intend to date someone?
” She gives me a hard look. “Charity, I’ve known you for three years now.
You don’t give away your affection easily and you definitely don’t give away your body.
You want to have a one-night stand?” She shakes her head.
“No, that doesn’t jive. I need to know the whole story.
Sit.” She gestures towards her kitchen table, and I sit obediently.
My face twists into a scowl. “I’m perfectly capable of not committing to a man I sleep with, Annie.” I cross my arms across my chest. “I don’t need to be in love to sleep with someone. Haven’t women fought for years to be able to do what they want with their bodies?”
She raises an eyebrow as she slips in across from me.
She hands me a mug of coffee. “Yes, they have. And I fully approve of jumping someone’s bones when you want to.
But a one-night stand would mean you don’t want to have any emotional ties with this man morsel you’ve selected to do the dirty with.
” She bites down on her bottom lip. “You’re a virgin aren’t you, Charity? ”
I feel my cheeks heat. As much as Annie and I have talked about, we’ve never discussed my past with men. She was around when the Silver Snakes took me in. She knows what Cowboy tried to do to me. She knows that touching men is a sore spot for me.
I glance down at the table and trace non-existent patterns into the wood. “I am. But I’ve decided I want to get rid of it.” I clear my throat. “My virginity, I mean. I want to be with a man and finally face my fears.”
She grabs my hand and I look up at her. Her green eyes are full of sympathy.
“I get that, Charity. I know you want to get past the fear. But that means finding someone you trust to give your body too. Not just a passing stranger or just anyone. You need someone who will take care with you. Who will make sure to be gentle with you.”
My eyes fill with tears, and I stand abruptly.
“Maybe I don’t want gentle, Annie. Maybe I want passionate and fiery.
I don’t want to be treated like a fragile doll, for once.
All the men here treat me that way. They all look at me like I’m going to break into tears if they try to hold my hand.
” I stand with my back to her, looking across the wide expanse of her yard and to the mountains beyond.
“I want to be treated like a real woman. Like I matter. Like I’m desirable. ”
I hear her light footsteps and then her hands are on my shoulder. “And you deserve that, my friend. You deserve all that and more.” She lets out a long breath. “Just who were you thinking of trying to seduce?”
She drops her hands and I turn, wanting to see her face as I answer her question. I lick my lips. What if she thinks I can’t pull this off? What if she tells me I’m a fool for even thinking he would want me?
“Silver,” I say in a voice barely above a whisper.
Slowly, a broad smile starts to stretch across her freckled face. “Why didn’t you say so? That’s an idea I can get behind. And it should be easy enough considering he’s head over heels for you already.”
What the hell did she just say?