Chapter Twenty-Three
Joe’s injuries were already healed when we left the building. Mine were well on their way. But my mind, in a bad place since Anika’s attack and the loss of my magic, was not doing well.
I realized how easy it was to lose everything, and though I’d gotten Joe back, I could just as easily have lost him forever. I couldn’t even muster up some anger. I just felt tired. Tired and sad and lost.
My blade was gone.
That pain was worse even than losing my magic, somehow.
Frowning, worry in his eyes, Jared pulled me into his arms. “What happened?” he asked.
“They took me,” Joe told him. “Kait had to fight to get to me. The demon elder told her he’d release me if she gave him her blade.” His rage was apparent, even though his voice was emotionless. “They took her fucking blade, Jared.”
No one said anything after that. They all knew what my blade meant to me. But I’d have done it all over again.
“You’re hurt,” Rick said. His voice was rough, but his stare was gentle.
Sam, Remy, and Zach stood together, and there was nothing gentle in their eyes.
“I knew the fucking council was a bunch of power-hungry fucks,” Remy said. “They’re too old to care about people.”
“They care about the balance and peace of the world,” Rick said. “Not about the individuals they hire to keep it.”
Jared tightened his arms around me. “You should shift and heal.”
I pulled away from him, finally. “I’m okay.” Big lie. “I need to…” But I trailed off, not even remotely sure what I needed to do. Sleep? Eat? “What time is it?”
“Just after three,” Zach said. “You were in there for three hours.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” I murmured, but my voice was flat. I wasn’t emotional. Honestly, I felt a little dead inside.
Maybe I could get Anika to cut me with her amazing dagger again to fill up the emptiness left behind by my blade’s disappearance.
The thought of it being in the hands of Kronor, being manipulated by him, touched by him, owned by him…that just made me sick. I might have taken it from the demon I’d eventually destroyed, but it had become mine. It had learned me, and I was learning it.
But how could a person ever hold onto something that everyone else wanted?
“Kait?” Jared asked, his voice as dark as the look in his eyes. “What do you need to do?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
“This is my fault,” Joe said. “I need to fix it. Is there a way we can get back in and fight the bastards? With all of us, we have a chance of getting the blade back.”
“We can’t fight the elders,” I told him, then forced myself out of my thick grimness. “Don’t blame yourself, Joe. You were there to have my back. I shouldn’t have taken you in.”
“You’ll take Anika Draper’s blade,” Remy said. “She owes you.”
I was sure my smile was faint, but it was there. “Yeah, she does.”
“Kait,” Aaron said, his hat in his hands when he walked around the car.
His face was bland as always, but there was something in his eyes.
“If you part ways with the council, I’d like you to know I will maintain the assigned connection.
If you need me, I will come.” He hesitated but didn’t look away. “I can be useful.”
I shoved the darkness and despair away. “Thank you,” I told him. “I would like that very much.” Then I looked at Jared. “It’s not over yet. I’ll figure it out. But right now, I’m ready to go home.”
Aaron opened the back door. “There’s a bag in the seat with clothes and bottles of water beside it. I’ll stop by a restaurant to get you some food.”
I squeezed Jared’s arm. “I’ll see you at Shadowfield.”
He kissed me, his big warm hand at my waist, and though I was standing there with no clothes on in the midst of seven men, I hadn’t felt naked until Jared kissed me. Until he touched me.
My face heated. I was thankful for my long hair, which hid at least part of my body. But when Jared released me, Aaron was there, quickly sliding a long, thin jacket over my shoulders.
He was always anticipating what I’d need. And I realized that Aaron Clarke was more than just a driver. “What are you?” I asked him.
But whatever he was, he was keeping it to himself.
We left the council the same way we’d come in—Joe in the back of Aaron’s car with me, and the rest of them following.
It felt as though the entire meeting had been set up just so I could go in and hand over my blade.
I got dressed and drank two bottles of water before Aaron parked at an all-night restaurant. “I’ll be right back,” he said, and didn’t bother asking me what I wanted. He knew I liked meat, coffee, and sugar, in that order.
Joe was quiet, and when I looked at him, I saw the beginnings of a vampire despair that would only deepen over time. I hated it. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it between both of mine. “Joe, Joe. Don’t change. Don’t ever change.”
“I’m sorry, Kaity Bug,” he murmured. “I’m sorry I lost you your blade.”
I sighed. “Look. I’ll miss my blade. I’ll regret that it’s gone. I’ll probably reach for it a dozen times a day. Maybe I won’t fight as well with my tools gone. But none of that is going to hurt me the way losing you would hurt me. Don’t you know that?”
Finally, the guilt and sorrow in his eyes began to lessen. “And it’s not the end of it,” he said. “Aaron knows the ins and outs of the council. Maybe he can help us figure out how to get your blade back.”
The magic was lost forever. The blade? It was still there, somewhere. I nodded. “We’ll get my blade back.”
Then Aaron returned with some bags that made the whole interior of the car smell good, and Joe smiled as he watched me eat.
Aaron drove us on to Shadowfield.
And for a little while, everything was okay.