17 Desperately Seeking Mermaids #2
Staring at the fuming Mara - the only person in the world who might possibly be able to connect him to Silver again - Hawk began to spiral into despair.
Silver had left him. Silver had left, thinking he didn't love him, and Hawk had just let him go. He'd let him think -
If she wouldn't help him -
Elizabeth, his rock, raised one graceful hand towards Mara as if to soothe a snarling beast. "I can understand why you must be very angry," she said softly. "You have every right to be. But the Captain came here to try and make amends. Could we beg for a moment of your time? Please."
Mara regarded them for a long moment, frowning.
In the corner, out of Hawk's line of vision, Roxanne O'Toole had placed her hand on the hilt of her sword.
Thankfully, Mara gave a terse nod, stepping back.
"Fine. Come with me." She turned for the stairs again, lifting a hand to placate O’Toole as she began to rise from her seat.
The redhead looked displeased but sat down again.
Mara took them into one of the rooms, still frowning as she turned to face them, arms folded across her chest. "Alright, speak. But if you are looking for Silver, you will not find him here."
The short climb up the stairs appeared to have cleared Hawk’s head somewhat. Now that he found himself face to face with this woman - a woman he'd once thought to be his rival, but who might actually be his salvation - his strategic instincts had returned to the fore.
“Before we say anything else to each other,” he began, “the... secret... which we are about to discuss... I believe it is too dangerous to be spoken of without certainty... ah... assurances?”
“What are you asking me?” Mara scowled without uncrossing her arms.
Hawk cast Elizabeth a desperate look.
“How well do you know, Mr. Silver?” Elizabeth asked cautiously, placing a hand upon Hawk’s arm to prevent any further inopportune outbursts.
“Well enough,” Mara shrugged. “He is my brother.”
“You are a mermaid!” Hawk exclaimed.
“Jesus!” both women intoned, glaring at him.
"But you have the hair!" Hawk pressed a palm to his forehead. "Look. I'm sorry. I know I've been a right idiot. But I didn't know he was a mermaid!"
"A MerSir."
"What?"
"A MerSir," Mara repeated again, crossly. "Would you like someone to call you Miss Hawk? And while we’re on the subject, ‘mermaid’ is what the bipeds call us. I prefer LadyMer, if you please."
"I apologize," Hawk replied helplessly. "Of course.
LadyMer. Look... I need to make things right and you're the only mer...
person who can help me. I'll pay you whatever you ask for.
Just... " He looked at Mara with desperation.
"Please, I just need to speak to him again.
To explain myself better. To put things right between us. "
Mara's eyes narrowed in contemplation. "Anything I ask for?"
"Within his power, of course," Elizabeth replied.
"Even your share of the Portuguese treasure?"
Hawk bit back the immediate denial. He wouldn't have anything at all, if it wasn't for Silver. He lowered his head. "If... that's what you want."
"Lucky for you, it is not," Mara replied. "I will take you to Silver, and in return you will owe me something much more valuable: a favor, of my choosing, at any time. From both of you."
Hawk winced; given what Mara had built around her, he had the distinct impression that it would have been easier just to give her his gold. "A favor of your choosing," he agreed. "At any time."
“That’s fair,” Elizabeth agreed after a moment.
"You must also be prepared," she continued, more quietly, dark eyes holding his as if she could stare into his very soul. "What you have pushed away may not be able to be regained. And if it can... there may be a great cost. More than I could ever ask of you. Are you prepared to pay it?"
"A cost?"
"You don't know the extent of what he gave up for you."
Hawk searched her gaze, trying to understand what went unsaid. It was like looking down into the oceans, to depths so great no light had ever touched them. What sadness had she seen, this mermaid - LadyMer - to have such depths in her eyes?
Hawk could see himself reflected in them, suddenly. And not in the mirror-bright way of a summer day. He saw....
He saw himself, on a moonlit night not so long ago, standing at the window of his cabin, looking down into the sea. Alone.
So alone.
The depths in Mara's eyes were the ocean he'd tried to drown himself in. The ocean of loss, of believing that his happiness had died with Lucas. That life had died with Lucas.
And then. Silver. Not a replacement for Lucas, that could never be. But something new. A light source he'd never known existed, like the sun had risen in his world after too long a lingering night.
Had he once again lost that light? Perhaps.
He certainly deserved to, after how he'd treated Silver.
He couldn't bear to think of what might come next, about whether or not he could even survive a world without Silver when he already knew the darkness so intimately.
But what he did know, was that he couldn't allow things to end between them with Silver believing the worst.
And if there could possibly be a way to get him back....
"No cost is too great," he answered quietly.
Still, Mara looked unconvinced, and Hawk began to despair of ever winning her over. Then, beside him, Elizabeth emitted a long sigh.
“I’m sorry, Mara,” she said softly. “When I met you... I didn’t realize. I should have treated you more kindly. I should have taken care of you.”